Advanced search

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide, which can point you to expert advice and support.

X used my credit card/fraud - WWYD?

(58 Posts)
donners312 Mon 22-Feb-16 15:37:13

Have posted about S2BXH before but can't find my post.

Quickly, he isn't paying CM, doesn't bother with the children, doesn't see them then sends me abusive messages that don't make sense all the usual basically.

Anyway I have just found out he has used my CC to purchase stuff (albeit for the children) and the bank says it's fraud.

It was online and I have no idea how he got the card details (possible went into my bag several months ago or asked the children for the details over the phone)

I don't want to waste police time but am furious that he thinks he can steal from me?


BrucieTheShark Mon 22-Feb-16 15:38:14

I would report it to the police.

TheNaze73 Mon 22-Feb-16 15:41:09

Call in the Rozzers. It's theft

Cabrinha Mon 22-Feb-16 15:41:55

That isn't wasting police time! He's a thief, they deal with thieves.

kittybiscuits Mon 22-Feb-16 15:47:31

Police. It's still fraud.

Cabrinha Mon 22-Feb-16 15:48:58

I doubt your credit company will credit the money back to you without the police report anyway.

I just googled your recent threads.
Only because I was wondering about demanding it back instead of reporting, for sake of ongoing relationship (my XH forged some papers in divorce and I took softly softly approach for that reason).

But this man is a grade A prick - you'll never have a good relationship with him to ruin! So - enjoy giving him the consequences of his actions. How dare he steal your money?!

No doubt he has justified it that you haven't given him your savings hmm so this is coming from his share. Arsehole.

Smoothyloopy Mon 22-Feb-16 15:51:04


ImperialBlether Mon 22-Feb-16 15:53:18

Think of the repercussions if you don't act now. He will feel free to do whatever he wants.

And yes, he bought the children things, but he never pays child support so he should be buying the children things with his own money!

JanetWeb2812 Mon 22-Feb-16 15:54:21

Your local police will not be interested.

All fraud cases are now dealt with by an an organisation called Actionfraud. They will ask you to fill in the details on line and they then forward these to the City of London Police's fraud squad. CLP decide whether or not your local police should start an investigation, and with budgets under so much pressure they will probably do nothing.

DoreenLethal Mon 22-Feb-16 15:55:33

I don't want to waste police time

You could report it to that other agency that deal with fraudsters.

Oh shit, that IS the police. Ignore me.

donners312 Mon 22-Feb-16 15:55:59

OMG Cabrinha you have so hit the nail on the head!!! that is it exactly he thinks because I am not writing him a check for half of the money from my savings that it is his money!!! you are right!!!

It isn't the money although I do need it don't get me wrong - it is the fact that he is so self entitled and thinks he can get away with anything.

The bank did offer to refund the money but i said that I would pay it because it is things for the children.

But they said I could report it.

I just feel like the police might think i'm wasting their time and being vindictive??

I feel like I am going mad - like am I being unreasonable but you are all right it is theft at the end of the day???

Pinkheart5915 Mon 22-Feb-16 15:55:59

Report to the police

Whatdoidohelp Mon 22-Feb-16 15:56:41

He didn't have permission so it is fraud. Could the card details have been saved on a laptop of his? I would ask all lenders for a new card in case he has details of others.

LurkingHusband Mon 22-Feb-16 15:57:09

A little tip to avoid this is to remove (a soldering iron may be needed) the last 3 digits on your cards signature strip (after memorizing them). That way no one can get them.

They are only ever needed for cardholder not present transactions.

ImperialBlether Mon 22-Feb-16 15:58:14

I've just looked at your previous threads. This man is so arrogant and entitled you HAVE to report him, if only to wipe that smug look off his face.

AnchorDownDeepBreath Mon 22-Feb-16 15:59:19

Report it. You need to, incase he does anything else with the CC details.

Report to the police, and once you've got a crime reference number, report to the bank. The bank will issue you a new card with a new card number and security code.

donners312 Mon 22-Feb-16 15:59:31

Thanks Janet - that is what I thought they won't really be interested.

Maybe I could tell him (except we're NC) that I might if he doesn't start paying CM???

But suppose that is blackmail and then i'll be the one in trouble with the police smile))))

It's so frustrating he literally can do what he wants and get away with it!!

DoreenLethal Mon 22-Feb-16 16:09:27

You need that card cancelled and a new one issued, if you haven't already got that sorted.

aginghippy Mon 22-Feb-16 16:10:55

What he has done is a crime: he used your credit card without your permission. He won't get away with it if you report it to the police via Action Fraud.

"ActionFraud is the UK’s national fraud and internet crime reporting centre. We provide a central point of contact for information about fraud and financially motivated internet crime. The easiest way to report fraud or internet crime is by using our online reporting tool."

Cabrinha Mon 22-Feb-16 16:12:10

You're right about blackmail - my solicitor warned me about that when mine did the dodgy paperwork and I was mouthing off to her that I could use it against him if he dicked me about later!

You absolutely should call the card company back and tell then you want it refunded. And report him.

he stole your money

It's not about revenge. It's about the message you're sending him.
You're telling him that even if he did start paying CM, he could (for example) take the kids to Alton Towers for the day and just reduce the CM that month by the same amount.

No. He buys for the kids from him own money.

Come on love, he has fucked you over completely so far, not signing paperwork, ignoring the kids... Why is it acceptable for him to add stealing to the list.

Take the opportunity to show him that the new you isn't to be fucked with.

Also, imagine when you get to court - because he will argue everything - but even in mediation. You are better going for a settlement that is clean break, because you can't rely on him. Only CM should be ongoing. But say you want to propose in mediation that you get more of your savings than him... To safeguard that you know he won't pay CM anyway. If he tries to argue in court that he's trustworthy, you can point to your police report for him stealing money. I am not a judge or mediator, but I expect proof he is untrustworthy is no bad thing to have.

What an arsehole. Do you want him laughing over how he got away with this?

shoeaddict83 Mon 22-Feb-16 16:15:30

it's so frustrating he literally can do what he wants and get away with it!!

but he cant!! You said yourself the bank offered to refund and told you to report him but you declined - hes only getting away with it as you are letting him! Report him either to the police or actionfraud - WTF do you have to lose if hes not paying CM either its not like i can withhold it. Id apply to CSA too to get him to pay that - he sounds like a right arse not paying for his own kids then using your money to buy extras too.

ImperialBlether Mon 22-Feb-16 16:21:00

This is the OP's chance to show him he can't do what he wants. She needs to grab this opportunity - it's a gift, really.

gamerchick Mon 22-Feb-16 16:30:07

Bloody is a gift! Come on OP take it by the horns man.

donners312 Mon 22-Feb-16 16:58:22

yes I will report it - thanks for giving me the link.

I will look at it, it makes me feel really nervy and sick to do it.

I know that makes me sound pathetic I am quite normal honestly!!

What happens once I report it do you think?

He is living in the ME but has just lost his job (again!!! he is about as good at work as he is a father!!)

donners312 Mon 22-Feb-16 17:02:03

Just quickly read through it - it says they do not investigate individual cases?

I will look through it later properly.

When these things happen you can't think straight can you.

Am so fed up of having these days I know I need to just get on with my life.

You are right though he needs to stop being so entitled and realise what he does is unreasonable!!

Thank you everyone so far!!

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now