We are in our 50's. After a couple of months together he started to talk about me moving in and also to propose. At first I laughed it off as it was way too soon but as the months went by and we are so well suited I began to make plans to move myself, my business and my belongings. We discussed this and the advertising required for my business move, the local radio station came to start the ball rolling with writing the first advert.
After 10 months together I told him that in another 2 months I would be about ready to make the move and didn't get the expected reaction. He told me that I had misunderstood, that wasn't what he had meant. I asked what he had meant as there was little else he could have meant and didn't get an explanation. I asked when he wanted us to live together and was told maybe in another 2 to 3 years.
Another time I mentioned the proposals....there were many over a period of over 6 months, he said he had no recollection.
This is now nearly a year ago and he has - just remembered, says he felt excited about our relationship back then.
My problem. What to do. I feel pretty much as I did about him, I do still love him BUT I do not feel the same about the relationship. What do we have? I am really unsure. We stay with one another once or twice a week. We row often since the "rejection" which is how I feel about it, possibly because I think I am a more prickly person to be with since then and don't feel as if I am important to him. I certainly don't come first in his world.
He has a teenage daughter who stays with him every so often and older children. The teenager comes first whatever our plans, they are dropped in her favour, she is 16. I am asked to join activities and if I find I can go, the day will suddenly change to one I cannot make - no apology and I am in the wrong if I complain.
If I ask what he wants the reply is...I want to "end up with you."
I feel as if he has exactly what he wants, no less and no more, I have been manouvered into this and it isn't what I wanted. He says if I'm not happy I should finish with him.
The annoying thing is - I didn't ask to move in together in the first place it was his idea, it is the change of mind that really matters, plus the lack of explanation.
He was married for over 15 years, his last girlfriend moved in and they lived together for a few years.
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Relationships
He changed his mind about living together.
Saffy101 · 09/09/2015 14:03
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