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People who were single around age 30 for whatever reason, but really wanted a relationship. What happened and where are you now?

(100 Posts)
itsyourday4 Thu 04-Jun-15 12:11:18

I want to hear from people who wanted a relationship but found themselves single at 30.

Did you meet someone or didn't you?

I live in a quiet town but work in a big city. I am scared my dream of a family won't happen - some women in their fifties in my office never met anyone and I feel terrified that that may be me.

Inexperiencedchick Thu 04-Jun-15 12:32:26

37, single...

RoganJosh Thu 04-Jun-15 12:34:53

I was single at 29 and 9 months. Met someone through online dating and got married and had three children.

itsyourday4 Thu 04-Jun-15 12:36:42

inexperiencedchick what happened in that time frame? Did you meet anyone or single the entire time?

aintgonnabenorematch Thu 04-Jun-15 12:38:20

37 single. ..

Some short (mostly shit) relationships.

hambo Thu 04-Jun-15 12:40:24

I was single at 30...met DH when I was 31, had DS1 at 33, got married when 34...had DS2 at 36....

We met in the office!

fiftyshadesofgrot Thu 04-Jun-15 12:40:41

Single at 32 then met the love of my life at a ball. Now married to him with 2 gorgeous DC's. All the best OP.

hambo Thu 04-Jun-15 12:41:30

Infact most of my friends met their partners in their mid 30's

Bonsoir Thu 04-Jun-15 12:43:03

If you want a relationship you need to meet a lot of men. This involves going out to places where you will meet like-minded people. What are your hobbies and interests? Are you pursuing them to the full?

mrsdavidbowie Thu 04-Jun-15 12:43:53

Single till 33. Divorced him 23 years later

Focusfocus Thu 04-Jun-15 12:44:14

Single from birth till 28. Various failed attempts to start relationships. One sexual partner.

Joined eharmony at 28 years 2 months. Met DH online within 24 hours of joining.

Now married, lovely house, very happy, lovely pup, expecting DC1 at 30 going on 31.

LurcioAgain Thu 04-Jun-15 12:50:21

Hmm, possibly not quite your target audience. I was single back when I was 30. Have had 3 long-ish relationships, loads of shorter ones, but if I tot up the actual total time - I've probably been single for more of my adult life than I've been in a relationship. Always wanted kids, though, so eventually (when I realised I was out of time to find a partner) had a child on my own. I thought I'd post anyway to let you know there are other possible ways of living one's life that can be enjoyable - I have a wonderful DS, an interesting job, loads of brilliant friends and (in the tiny amount of spare time I have) fulfulling hobbies. Looking round at friends, a really good relationship is a brilliant place to be, but where I'm at is way, way better than being in a bad or even simply an indifferent relationship for the sake of it.

Inexperiencedchick Thu 04-Jun-15 12:50:26

2 marriage offers, 1 relationship offer. (Not serious offers are not included)

1st MO at 25, I wasn't even thinking abt it at that time.
2nd MO at 35, couldn't commit... Should have done it...

RO at 35-36, still can't understand his motives...

I don't follow religion but there are some family requests that hold back a lot of things.

Don't know where I will be in the next 3-5 years tbh...

CarolBornAMan Thu 04-Jun-15 12:51:59

single at 30 having done LTR, short term, one nights, blind dates, online - decided to give it all up and went out on a night out with friends .. met one of their friends who was totally unsuitable and still is perfectly so 20 years later..

most of my friends met their partners after 30 .. it is very common and probably why you see lots of older mums at the NCT classes - I was at 34 the youngest at mine!

JimmyCorkhill Thu 04-Jun-15 12:53:34

Single for a decade (but no long term relationships beforehand, maybe a year and a half tops).

Met DH online (My Single Friend) at 33. He was the first bloke I met in person from there! 2 DC by 38 and now married for a year.

I had to make the leap from thinking that someone would miraculously find me and think of looking for a partner as more of a job. By that I mean I had to actively look for people to date hence the online dating.

tinytops Thu 04-Jun-15 12:53:38

Single at 30- very gloomy about it. Met DH soon after 30th. Living together by 31, married by 32, DC1 at 33, DC2 on the way. Things often progress more efficiently once you are in your 30's.

expatinscotland Thu 04-Jun-15 12:54:38

Met DH at 31, we had DD1 when I was 32, DD2 when I was 34 and DS when I was 37.

But, frankly, at the time I met him, I was already exploring co-parenting with a gay couple who wanted someone to have children with. I wasn't going to hang around waiting for a man to have a family with.

purplemeggie Thu 04-Jun-15 12:57:51

My XH left three weeks after my 30th birthday - we'd been together since we were 18, so I'd never been a single adult before.

It was a shock - and I was heartbroken - but threw myself into a busy social life to help get over it. I met and dated someone from a very different background/race/religion a few months later, and we were together for a year, but his family did not accept our relationship and I ended it because I thought it would mean him having to choose between me and his family (we're still friends: he married an "acceptable wife" - it didn't work out!) Dated a couple of other people.

Met DH when we were 32, dated for two years, got married when we were 34, had ds when we were 35, still happy 10 years on smile

30 is young...get out there and have fun, and you'll meet someone doing the same fun things that you enjoy.

luckiestgirlintheworld Thu 04-Jun-15 13:00:47

It's all about online dating! I can't recommend it enough!

RolyPolierThanThou Thu 04-Jun-15 13:03:28

Met dp at 29. Had dc at 35, 36 and 38. I never thought I'd have time to have 3dc like i wanted. But I did.

My best friend just had her first at 41. You do have time.

SoundingBored Thu 04-Jun-15 13:09:44

Not me, but most of my close friends were single at 30. We are all 38/39 now.

Of my four best friends:

Friend A met a guy at 33, had a baby with him at 36, theyre happily together and expecting DC2.

Friend B met a guy at 33, married at 35, had a few fertility problems bit after successful IVF had a baby at 37.

Friend C met a guy at 31, moved in and got engaged quite quickly. It went wrong after 2 years. She met another guy at 35, had a baby at 36. Theyre now separated but she is a happy, working, successful single mother.

Friend D met a guy at 32, married at 34, she has just had her third baby at 39.

If it makes you feel any better, I was married and expecting my second baby at 30...but I clearly recall my 30th birthday year. All my single friends went on a holiday to Cuba and were sending me pictures of their fabulous adventures in Havana, while I was at home, pregnant, bored and a bit miserable. They also progressed much better in their careers - all four of them - than I have. Having kids in my twenties really fucked my career for quite a while.

BangingTheDrums Thu 04-Jun-15 13:10:30

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

itsyourday4 Thu 04-Jun-15 14:09:39

Thanks, these stories are making me feel a little more optimistic!!

fancyanotherfez Thu 04-Jun-15 14:14:55

Single from 27-30, did lots of online dating, being fixed up with dull but wealthy men by my parents and basically ignoring them and loving living on my own in my own little flat. Met DH at 31, married at 33, babies at 34 and 37 2nd month of trying both times.

Fivegomadindorset Thu 04-Jun-15 14:18:25

Single at 30, had a few relationships before then but an early abusive one put me off.

Met DH when I was 32, married at 34 now 45 with two children, 9 and 6

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