My DP is in his mid-forties and I'm 30. We have been together for nearly six years and he has two teenaged children (who I really like and get on well with, they are great and never have been an issue between us).
The problem, I think, when I try and articulate it into something logical, is that he procrastinates and is a bit of a borderline alcoholic.
Good points first: he is an incredibly loving man, affectionate, cuddly and always ready with a kiss and a cuddle whenever I want/need one.
He is also very bright and intelligent, with a great sense of humour. He seems to love life and throw himself into it 100%.
Bad point: he lied about still being married. He had been separated for five years when we started dating and told me he was divorced on our first date. At the time I felt for him and saw it as one of the things that often comes with dating someone 15 years older.
I found out he was separated and not divorced in 2011 after being with him for a year and a half. That was awful and it was very embarrassing because everyone knew except me that I had not been told the truth.
He says he will sort it out so that we can get married ourselves. It's been four years and nothing has happened. He has worries about his tax code changing and some unpaid bills, which is his reason for being wary of rocking the boat.
I'm 30 and I want so much more than this now. I've been with the man I love for almost six years and we are still in exactly the same place we were at the very beginning.
As well as this, he often goes out and gets absolutely obliterated. We don't have any DC ourselves, so it's not an issue from that perspective, but it's horrible when he "goes out for one" and rolls in stinking of shots at seven am and totally ruins our plans for the day.
Last straw was that he rolled in high on MDMA this morning and I had to sit with him for four hours while it wore off. He was clenching his jaw in a really weird way and saying strange stuff.
Am I being unreasonable to want more for my life? I do love him so much though.
Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody
Relationships
Heartbroken and worried and I don't know what to do
Grapeeatingweirdo · 10/05/2015 16:02
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