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Oh crap - I think I've made myself look rather foolish

(175 Posts)
ParanoidPrue Thu 07-Mar-13 23:00:46

I've just sent the following email to both H and someone he's been emailing in a slightly less than professional capacity:

Hello to you both

Whilst it is heartwarming to watch your blossoming romance via the internet, I wonder if either of you could spare a thought for the poor pathetic wife in this scenario? I'm sure that you both will protest that this exchange between you is entirely innocent and that you simply have a connection as "friends". But whilst you exchange your star-signs and discuss hobbies, I do have to wonder why you both choose to do this via private email addresses rather than your work emails... could it be that you have something to hide perhaps? Or perhaps you're concerned that both of your respective employers will catch on to the fact that you are conducting daily phonecalls under the guise of work. Far be it for someone as lowly as a wife to question her husband once again putting in danger our family's only income for the sake of this "friendship" but it seems to me that innocent people don't conduct themselves in this fashion.

I guess that I should be relieved that the distance between you prevents this friendship spilling into the physical realm as it has in the past for the poor innocent husband. Oh but my dear, please do not concern yourself - (H) will soon be young free and single once more and you will be free to meet and discuss your match on one of your trips to London. (H) has no such qualms about something as trivial as marriage holding him back from such a meeting - you see, this is not the first time and I'm sure will not be the last. In fact, he has quite a penchant for single mothers so it seems that this dalliance was meant to be. Unfortunately (or fortunately) for him, his wife is not so forgiving and for her, this will be the last time. I do hope that the friendship was worth it my dear husband.

Oh crap oh crap oh crap - I look bonkers don't I? In my defence, there's a massive back story and I just saw a bit red when I found the emails (half of which had been deleted from H's side)......Hit me with it - I feel sorry for her now, she's probably not got a clue that he's a nasty predatory wanker and perhaps she really was seeking friendship <<clutches straws>>

MinnieBar Sat 09-Mar-13 08:41:53

Yes, why are you leaving rather than kicking this waste of space out??

Dylanlovesbaez Sat 09-Mar-13 08:43:04

Wow, you are absolutely amazing and I think I might love you!

Diagonally Sat 09-Mar-13 08:50:18

Snakes in the grass often roll over and play dead when confronted with something stronger than themselves.

Really important for you to take action during his "dead" phase because he will be relying on you not doing so, and biding his time until he perceives a chink in your armour - illness or similar vulnerable moment when he can try to convince you that you still need him.

Good luck Prue!

phoenixrose314 Sat 09-Mar-13 08:53:18

Very proud of you OP, have been following... I can understand why you would want to up sticks and leave, but as another poster said you are well within your rights to stay in the house and ask him to leave, especially if you want to maintain a degree of stability for the children.

I realise you probably want to avoid a confrontation with him, but you could simply pack up his things and leave them on the doorstep - always a good move when it comes to serial cheaters who are good at blah going their way out of any situation!

Blatherskite Sat 09-Mar-13 08:54:22

I think your email was brilliant and has done everyone a favour - him because he now knows you know and you won't be putting up with it any more, her because now she knows what she's getting involved with and you because you can't back down now.

I hope the split goes as smoothly as it can for you.

AgathaF Sat 09-Mar-13 08:55:56

Wow. I've been following this but not posted. Fantastic email. He's one cold customer though, to not even comment on it.

Good luck in your new life without him. When does it start?

Hugglepuff Sat 09-Mar-13 08:59:43

That was brilliantly articulate !
Don't worry about the other girl - in the long run she will probably be relieved to be pre - warned about what sort of person H is

YellowAndGreenAndRedAndBlue Sat 09-Mar-13 09:05:55

I don't think you came across as bonkers. I think too often people say nothing, well done you for having your say. I hope you find a happy new life soon.

DontstepontheMomeRaths Sat 09-Mar-13 09:36:40

Please come back to this thread if you need support Pru x

fryingpantoface Sat 09-Mar-13 09:42:46

Good luck in your new, and definately improved, life! You're better off without him

almostanotherday Sat 09-Mar-13 09:46:13

So proud of you Prue and good luck for the rest of your new and improved future without being a door mat smile

xigris Sat 09-Mar-13 09:53:53

Brilliant. Just brilliant. Well done! smile

pictish Sat 09-Mar-13 10:21:54

I would say:
"We have split up now, so you'd better start thinking about where you're going to live."

xigris Sat 09-Mar-13 10:45:50

I'm going to put you as my lady crush in the active thread on that subject. thanks

Maryz Sat 09-Mar-13 11:42:43

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MunchkinsMumof2 Sat 09-Mar-13 12:20:24

Don't move out Prue, it's not fair on you or your children. Well done on a brilliant email and I wish you all the best for your future, you derserve to be happy and cocklodger-free!

CookieLady Sat 09-Mar-13 13:45:46

Prue, all the best for the future.

MissLurkalot Sat 09-Mar-13 16:13:11

You had me at 'Hello!' grin
You like everyone has said, please come back if you need us.
You go girl!!!

Jux Sat 09-Mar-13 20:48:53

Prue, have a wonderful life; I don't know why you are leaving instead of kicking him out, but I think you are a remarkable woman and have your own reasons.

I too hope his willy falls off.

ShipwreckedAndComatose Sat 09-Mar-13 21:01:54

Really brilliant email!! Good luck pru xx

LittleEdie Sun 10-Mar-13 00:33:14

Good luck x

Bluelightsandsirens Sun 10-Mar-13 00:54:11

Another one adding good luck and stay strong vibes

prettywhiteguitar Sun 10-Mar-13 11:50:56

Another one for willy falling off

I think you're being great, don't engage with him just get your self to a solicitors and see what you can do from there.

Also he may not be acknowledging it because if you divorce she might be named ? Not sure if this is the case but if he admits it basically you can say its fault (disclaimer I know nothing about divorce having never been married but was just a thought)

I have had fantastic advice from the legal board if you need any quick advice post a thread there

Go prue !

ScarletWomanoftheVillage Sun 10-Mar-13 12:06:18

Well done OP, another one here for willy falling off...

Best of luck for the future thanks

WinkyWinkola Sun 10-Mar-13 21:31:34

You've got more balls than he does. Sneaking around behind your back.

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