I'm 39, already have a 10 and 6 year old.
I have had a fallopian tube removed and have polycystic ovaries so I don't have a regular cycle. Also it took so so long to conceive my 2 kids that I thought there was no way I would get pregnant so stopped using the pill and went onto just condoms, this was a few years back.
To my shock a few days ago I did a pregnancy test and it was positive. So I repeated again in the morning and again positive. It will make me 6 weeks pregnant from the first day of my last period.
We are in the process of looking for a new house to move for better secondary schools for the eldest child. October we have to apply to a place so we have left it quite tight!!!
Both kids argue as siblings do and I find it a struggle at times with just 2 kids. I see my friends have babies and I don't miss it or feel broody. My eldest is short tempered and argumentative and very selfish. I am short tempered too and get frustrated daily with him. He suffers from anxiety as he chews his fingers while the youngest keeps saying she has tummy aches and not want to go school. She's had a blood test and scan to rule out any thing wrong and all came back fine so likely to be anxiety too.
I am now comfortable with 2 kids. Financially too it will make it less comfortable for the 4 of us and things will have to change in terms of lifestyle.
But the idea of a termination horrifies me. The fact my kids could have another sibling and I got rid of it horrifies me too and I've been crying ever since I've found out. But I also don't want to go through the whole birthing process again at my age. I don't feel I have the energy as I did 10 years ago and nor does my partner.
My partner feels we shouldn't keep it but he's supportive if I want to keep it. He's always been against abortions but now that we face this decision, he's being realistic about it even though he'd like to keep it. I'm a mother who is already struggling with 2 as the eldest is difficult to deal with. So another one with the sleepless nights, tantrums etc will make life so much harder. I know it doesn't last forever but I don't feel I have the energy to do it.
I don't know what to do!!!!
Has anyone else been in a similar situation and decided on a termination?
I'm really scared and I feel so bad even thinking of the idea of a termination... it's a life and it feels wrong
Pregnancy choices
Abortion or not...
Busymummy50 · 23/04/2018 14:17
Poor you OP, you sound so conflicted. I found myself pregnant at a similar age with kids around the same age as yours. It was a big shock esp as we were not expecting any further additions to our family. I went on to have our youngest and she has been a joy & a gift to us all. It was strange going back to the sleepless nights but it’s amazing how you just spring back into the zone. My energy levels were exactly the same as they were in my late 20’s so no difference there. We borrowed a lot of baby stuff as we knew there was no point in buying anything new so no extra outlay in that sense. My eldest child has been brilliant with her and even though she is going through her teen years it really hasn’t been bad. Yes she drive me demented sometimes but what teen doesn’t. I’ve found that our youngest has diffused many a cranky mood over the years. My middle child found the adjustment a little bit harder but I think that’s more about his personality than anything else. If I could think of any negatives it would be that our youngest thinks she is also a teen & sometimes I’m a bit 
at the things she says. They listen to everything ! I wondered how I would spread myself out to all of them at important times of their lives but I needn’t have worried. It all just worked out fine. Only you know what’s going to happen but don’t let the negatives put you off. Sometimes it’s fear that stops us from listening to our hearts. Good luck 
I had an abortion at 8 weeks years ago. It was a hard decision and I still think of it sadly every so often, HOWEVER it was the right decision for me at the time.
At the moment it is a number of cells with no idea of what or who it is. If you don't feel confident you can give it a good life and it would negatively effect your current family abortion may be the right choice.
It's 100% your decision. take your time and imagine both ways and see what feels right
It is a hard decision and ultimately yours to make and yours alone.
I have three children and decided to terminate when I became pregnant again accidentally. I was trying fertility awareness as contraception I would not advise it!
Anyway, I grieved for the life I would have had to have been living in order to welcome a baby (I could contemplate having another baby if we lived in a big house, had lots more money, and I could afford to not work and stay at home and breastfeed for years, make up for everything I didn't do as perfectly as possible before - ie a complete fantasy).
I had a surgical abortion at a Marie Stopes clinic. It was quick and no fuss and all the staff were wonderful.
I marked on the calendar an approximate due date and decided on that day to celebrate my family as it is, which is hectic and beautiful. Hormonally and emotionally it was difficult but I have not once regretted my decision. It would not have been fair on my existing kids or on a new baby.
Obviously if you decide to go ahead with the pregnancy all will seem inevitable in the end and you will cope. Good luck with your tough choice. 
Thank you all for your kind messages and letting me know your experiences. I know so people are against abortions and I respect that and totally understand why.
Me and my partner had a temporary split when I fell pregnant with my second child so situation was not ideal back then but I knew I wanted to keep her, I wanted my son to have a sibling despite the potential that I could've been a single mum.
Now fast forward 6 years and I felt so shocked and upset at discovering I'm pregnant. I didn't feel happy at all. I am against abortions myself and never would I have believed that I would now be considering doing that!!!!
I think my initial reaction and the fact I am still unhappy and wishing this isn't really happening maybe is yelling me I shouldn't have this one. But I'm scared if the 'what I'd and I'm scared I might regret and I'm scared I will forever look at my kids knowing they could've had another sibling and I took that away from them.
My youngest now is lovely. She's caring and understanding and she's really mature for her age at 6. My 10 year old on the other hand I suspect has mild aspergers and it might not be enough to get a diagnosis but he's extremely selfish and shouts and gets frustrated at not getting his way. At home it could be great one minute and he might switch over something so small e.g like tonight he didn't want to eat spaghetti but he was starving so he whined and whined.... he has slight sensory processing issues and socially isn't that great although he gets on with people. Because of the way my eldest is, I find myself sometimes shouting back at him or getting extremely frustrated as he pushes boundaries and can speak to me really rudely. Dad works long hours but he dies help whenever he can but he works 7 days a week! So home is left to just me. He is also so into comouter games (my son) that we often struggle to get him off....
I spoke to my mum today and I thought she would say to keep it as she is against abortions but even she thinks it would be too much for me as she's seen the struggles I've had with my son. She said if both my kids were well behaved and I was a calm mother then she would say keep it.... This is also what my partner thinks, he also is absolutely against abortion and even last time round when we had split up and found out I was pregnant he didn't consider abortion.
I am a very emotional person who has made other mistakes in life and I've found at times those mistakes hard to live with and I just don't know how I would cope with deciding to abort... I thought I'd be fine until I called Marie stoped today and it all sunk in and I burst out crying at the thought of terminating this life 
Does it get easier to make this decision after speaking more to people and having just a few extra days to think?
Has anyone decided to abort and backed out last minute?
Has anyone made the decision to keep the baby and wish they didnt?
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