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Have 2 boys but want a baby girl, how likely is it and am I just being greedy?

(96 Posts)
maybebaby3 Mon 23-Mar-09 07:53:41

I have 2 gorgeous healthy boys, 3 and 6 months and I love them both to bits, but it seems that everyone around me is having girls, especially those friends who have one boy then give birth to a girl, leaving me with some mega girl envy blush

I would love a baby girl, but hubby thinks he only has boy sperm! I'm not sure if I want a third, but not sure how I would feel 5 years down he line without another child or more importantly a little girl? (I'm 39 so time is running out)

Anyone else feel the same and torn whether to go for a third child? or does anyone out there have 2 boys then got a 3rd boy, how was it? or got a girl?

Love to hear your experiences and thoughts, thanks!

SoupDragon Mon 23-Mar-09 08:04:21

I had 2 boys and then a girl. You have to have a 3rd child because you want a third child though.

The statistics are something like if you have 2 of the same sex you are 80% likely to have a 3rd. These results are skewed by those people who, for whatever reason, have a disposition towards one sex. If there is no underlying disposition then you are around 50% likely to have either sex.

There are things you can do to tip the odds (I didn't) but, at the end of the day, you have to want a third child.

WowOoo Mon 23-Mar-09 08:11:53

When I thought about this I rolled a dice to see what might happen. Say boys are even, girls are odd numbers. I had a run of 6 boys!! That's enough to put me off trying on the off chance that it might be a girl.

SoupDragon is right. Do you want another child in your family?

Good luck whatever happens.

belgo Mon 23-Mar-09 08:14:33

I had two girls and was simply desperate to have another baby, boy or girl. In fact we expected to have another girl as there are mainly girls in the family. We were very happy and very surprised when I had a baby boy last october.

As soupdragon says, you have to want another child, boy or girl, but I am sure you are sensible enough to realise that.

aGalChangedHerName Mon 23-Mar-09 08:15:13

I had 2 boys then 2 girls. I didn't really want a girl tbh blush Was gobsmacked when dd1 popped out.

Only go for a 3rd if you a 3rd baby,not if you only want a girl. How disappointed would you be if it was another boy? If you think you would be fine with that fine but it would be awful if you couldn't be delighted with another little boy imo.

maybebaby3 Mon 23-Mar-09 09:14:30

Thanks! We would love a 3rd child as 2 doesnt seem complete for us. I look at families in restaurants with older children and its always the table with 3 children that I'm drawn to, and no it wouldnt be bad if we had 3 boys, I would be more than delighted but for me deep down that yearning for a daughter would always be there. I guess 2 boys or 3 boys I would feel the same but at least our family would be complete!

anyway, how is it with more than 2 children? we are finding life with 2 a lot easier than we imagined!

LotsofLovelyShoes Mon 23-Mar-09 09:18:57

Never posted on one of these 'sex of the baby' threads before but surely it comes down to the time of your cycle that you conceive? ie. around ovulation is more likely to be a boy as the male sperm do not survive that long but if you conceive just before/after (sorry long time since I thought about this!!!) ovulation the chances are greater of having a girl as the female sperm hang around longer??

I had 2 girls then had intercourse on the day of ovulation and knew that I would be having a boy, turned out to be twin boys!

MargotBeauregardesGavel Mon 23-Mar-09 09:21:16

Don't have sex after cd9. It takes longer to get pregnant though. Worked for me.

willali Mon 23-Mar-09 12:29:20

it's always going to be 50/50 - all this day of ovulation stuff is ballox!! the sperm determines the sex of the baby - it's nothing to do with where the egg is, it's all down to the stronger swimmer. SO no point in timing, sticking your legs in the air after sex, eating cabbage or whatever...

Don't do it if you are going to be disappointed with the outcome

jellybeans Mon 23-Mar-09 12:34:29

I think it is 50/50. I had g,g,g,b+b(twins),g,b. I know quite a few people who had a girl after 2 boys. However, I agree that you need to be happy with any child b/g before ttc.

tiggerlovestobounce Mon 23-Mar-09 12:36:38

I had also heard that 80% figure Soupdragon.
I have 3 girls.

Peachy Mon 23-Mar-09 12:41:18

SD is right with the stats (4 boys myself smile)

It's not 50/50. SomThere are men who are genetically programmed with more of one gender of sprem than the other. Often these are imemdiately evident by the number of same sex children in the family (I cant remember if this is just for boys, or for girls as well). Then there are men who have 50/50. IOn our usual smaller famillies its ahrd to spot a trend- Dh has a brother but only one so no real evidence..... however my boys are ones of four so we can geenerallya ssume DH ahs the gene.

All new research though.

willali Mon 23-Mar-09 14:56:54

What I meant by 50/50 was that in relation to each pregnancy it will either be a) a boy or b) a girl

Therefore when trying for a baby one has to accept one of 2 outcomes. IMVHO there is no proven reliable method to ensure one or the other - those who have done the sex on the 5th day of a waxing moon or whatever method and come out with the right outcome for them have merely been lucky.

alwaysmoving Mon 23-Mar-09 15:22:52

My friend has 3 boys and is desperate for a girl. She is knackered and isn't even sure she wants another baby BUT she is scared of regretting that she never had a daughter when she's told old to have any more.

So, she says she loves her boys but does not want another boy and will be going to some clinic in Spain (apparently) where they guarantee girl/boy.

Just a thought, if you have 8000 pounds to spare.

MargotBeauregardesGavel Mon 23-Mar-09 16:39:56

Willali, that's a commonly held but slightly outdated belief now. There have been a lot of studies done that support the theory that the ph or environment of women's vagina plays a large part too (because low ph is more hospitable to male sperm and vice versa).

Microsort in Madrid, good luck to your friend alwaysmoving. Know somebody who did it and it worked for her.

MargotBeauregardesGavel Mon 23-Mar-09 16:42:52

ps, it IS proven that female sperm swim slower and live longer.. Male sperm swim faster and die quicker. That much IS a physiological fact and to compare it with waxing or waning of the moon is to be very dismissive of this subject!

MargotBeauregardesGavel Mon 23-Mar-09 16:44:54

Peachy, my children's father one of five boys so I really knew I was up against it and had to try and tilt the odds in my favour.

piscesmoon Mon 23-Mar-09 17:09:45

I have 3 boys and my brother has 3 boys. I know people who have had 2 boys and then a girl. I think you have to be sure that you want another DC before you go ahead. I would have loved a DD but now that I have all DSs I am quite happy. I have got to the point where I wonder if I would have coped with a girl!

Peachy Mon 23-Mar-09 17:54:36

I think once I found out the 4th baby I had always wanted anyway was male I immediately came to terms with it, DH was a bit upset but ds4 was always going to be the last baby anyway.

I know other women find adjustment harder.

Dh ahs 2 brothers and no idea of fathers family as FIL is adopted; I am one of an all girl generation (I know technbically that emans nowt but psychologically...), dad was 15th child of a family of eight of each. Yet oth sisters have boys also, 7 and no girls in this generation.

Good job I never liked barbies anyway.

traceybath Mon 23-Mar-09 17:57:57

I've got 2 boys and am 21 weeks pregnant with surprise dc3. Was told last week at scan that its a girl and i was surprised at just how thrilled i felt.

Trying not to get too excited though in case it is a boy. Of course i'd love another boy but a girl would be lovely.

mum23monkeys Mon 23-Mar-09 18:00:43

I had 2 boys then a girl. Only had the third when I really wanted a third child, regardless of sex. I knew I'd be happy with a boy, but was over the moon when she popped out as a girl. I had also heard the 80% statistic.

I don't think they are old wifies tales about timing your cycle etc. but suspect they don't have a whole lot of influence and just make it longer to conceive. But if you really would like to try for a girl (assuming you'd be happy with a boy anyway) then there's certainly no harm in trying diet changes/cycle timing etc. There are some books available solely on this subject.

Wisknit Mon 23-Mar-09 18:04:04

i always wanted at least 3 children, all boys. dc 3, now 4 weeks is a girl shock! didn't expect it but it happens.

NellyTheElephant Mon 23-Mar-09 18:36:04

Hi, I have two gorgeous girls. I always wanted at least 3 children so we were definitely going for a third anyway, but we thought it would be nice if we could maximise the chance of a boy. I'd heard that timing could be a big influence and bought a book a couple of friends of mine had used (successfully!) called "Choose the Sex of Your Baby: the Natural Way" by Hazel Chesterman Phillips. It worked for me (expecting a boy in 2 weeks). Maybe it was just coincidence, who knows. I don't think it's a load of old rubbish - quite a few fairly eminent doctors seem to back up the theory about sperm (i.e. Y carrying male sperm are slightly smaller and swim faster and X sperm are slightly heavier and slower but live longer - up to 5 days whereas Y sperm die off after a day or 2, so the theory goes that if you have sex exactly at the time of ovulation it is more likely that a Y sperm will fertilise the egg, but if you have sex a few days before ovulation then abstain it is more likely that the Y sperm will die off and an X sperm will be waiting when the egg is released). I tracked my ovulation patterns for 6 months leading up to the time we wanted to try for another baby and then got pregnant the first month we tried. Interestingly looking back it also makes sense that we concieved the girls as I was actually ovulating 4 or 5 days later than I had expected.

Disenchanted3 Mon 23-Mar-09 18:37:33

I had 2 boys and then a girl

jellybeans Mon 23-Mar-09 19:02:53

I find this sad 'she loves her boys but does not want another boy'. Having a preference is one thing but 'not wanting another' sounds awful It also usually comes from mums of boys. I have 3 boys and they are fab! Have 2 girls too and sadly lost 2 girls after 20 weeks. After many m/c I was just grateful for a live baby each time. When we found out #3 was a girl some people (MIL was one) were 'dissapointed' but I didn't care.

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