I work 5 full days, but try sneak away early on a Thursday to get a bit of housework done before fetching dd from nursery, but by the end of the next day the house is a mess again and I dont want to spend my weekends cooking/cleaning/ironing etc... also want a bit of quality life. Do I stay up till midnight doing it??? Do I get up at 5 to do it???
Try to do just 15 minutes a day to keep on top of it. Even if it's only emptying bins or clearing away the worst of the untidiness.
I found Flylady.net useful just for its principles of trying to develop a few basic routines (eg keep your kitchen sink clean, sort out a morning/evening routine), trying to keep on top of your "hotspots" and doing 15 minutes in a "zone" (a room/area - whcih changes every week - but does at least mean that that room gets cleaned/tidied at least once a month), and giving up on perfectionism and accepting "good enough". But everyone advises not signing up for the e-mails, as they would drive you potty!
If the house has really got on top of me, I set my timer and do just five minutes at a time in each of the main rooms - or whichever rooms are getting most on top of me (usually kitchen, living room and bedroom).
Would you have time to prepare something in the AM and slow cook it so that you didn't have to prepare a meal in the evening?
Also, it sounds like you only have one extra hour than your DH - not enough time to do housework yourself - it's his house too.
Don't put yourself under pressure to have dinner ready for when he comes home - he'll get used to it and not appreciate it.
Do you watch TV in the evenings? Another tip - do your housework in the ad breaks - I vacuumed the downstairs, loaded the dishwasher, polished the sofas and de-cluttered the sitting room in the ad breaks of Wife Swap and Desperate Housewives last week!
you're funny caligula. Hear, hear for womans rights... giggle - just one small detail - he is portuguese!!! They dont believe in housework. Cant slow cook (dont have one) but I like the idea of 15min a day in a room... busy having a look at flylad.net as we speak.
I do my ironing watching TV too. Although I have got it down to 15-30 minutes/week by learing to hang the clothes out to dry better and folding them carefully once they are dry (and being ruthless about what I do iron - eg no longer do all of dh's T-shirts). And this despite the fact that I am a sad git who still irons her tea towels and duvet covers/pillow cases (but they only get washed once a fortnight - the bottom sheet gets done weekly, but not ironed)
PS Have to admit that dh also does his fair share. He does the hoovering and also cleans the bathroom. But given that he is the one who refuses to let me get a cleaner in, despite the fact that we could afford one - hell mend him
I work part time but actually find my life is easier on the days I work than on the days I don't work.
When I work and get home with the kids at 5pm, the house is tidy because they haven't been there all day to trash it. They (well the older one, the other is just a baby) sit compliantly in front of the tv because she is winding down after a day of stimulation at the Nursery, and I get to cook a very simple no effort tea like eggy bread because they have already been fed properly by someone else at Nursery.
Whereas on my days off I am foreover tidying up after them and cooking / cleaning.
I agree - the weekend is always much worse than work days when the kids aren't here all day to trash the place.
Oh God, Portuguese - say no more. Well, if he's not prepared to do his share, he'll have to employ someone to do his share for him. Or he'll have to support you to do his share. Which would you prefer?
Well why not? Why should you do all the housework? You work full time. You're his wife, not his housekeeper. It's his house too, his child too. He should be doing 50 50 with you, you don't have any more time than he does.
Am I on a different planet to most women? Is it really unreasonable to expect equal effort in home-making, rather than for women who are doing a job outside the home to be expected to take on 100% of the domestic management of the home as well?