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Mums of 4 come and talk to me please especially if you have small gaps

(88 Posts)
sweetkitty Thu 02-Jul-09 23:22:45

Currently we have almost 5yo DD1, 3 1/2 yo DD2 and almost 1yo DD3, have decided to go for number 4.

There are a hundred reasons to stop at 3 like we need to build an extension, bigger car, SPD in pregnancy, we have no family help so just me and DP, time with each of them, money, money and money.

Only one reason for, both DP and I really want another, we thought our family would be complete with 3 but it doesn't feel like it at all, hate hate hate all the trying for a boy, we do not especially want a boy, chances are we would have DD4 anyway.

I am dreading the pregnancy but would love another little person about the place.

Please come and share you experiences with me, everyone in RL would think I am utterly insane

TooTicky Thu 02-Jul-09 23:26:22

Um....well, I have 4. They are 12, 10, 7 and 4 and I have survived this far!!
4 is quite a nice number, less chance of one being left out.
Can be intense though.

aRLcat Fri 03-Jul-09 00:03:01

On my own with four of 7yrs and under, the youngest two are currently under 18 months old.

It's absolutely amazing grin. I have no family either and my every waking minute is insanely busy but we have a fantastic, if hectic time.

When I 'became single' during the final weeks of pg #3 (affair) I was terrified that my children would suffer, that I couldn't manage.

When I became pg with #4 during a moment of weakness when I relented and took philandering git back for two weeks, I was beyond terrified!

Here I am now though, I'm busy beyond belief but we're coping and coping well. Do we constitute a 'larger family'? Blimmin well feels like it!

My family now feels undeniably 'whole' but the funny thing is, I honestly didn't realise it wasn't before! I do now smile

aRLcat Fri 03-Jul-09 00:06:08

Sorry, please excuse the ramble.
The point I suppose I was making is that in my experience, no matter how impossible it appears on the face of it (physical/financial/logistical/emotional issues inclusive), there's nearly always room for one more!

sweetkitty Fri 03-Jul-09 08:48:58

aRLcat - well done you, I think it's the sheer thought of TTC if I were pregnant I would be fine and once the baby is here well that's it isn't it, you adore them and couldn't even think of not having them.

DP said that in 20 years time would I regret not having another and I said yes so there we go, he has always wanted four it's me that needs convincing.

Four is my absolute total and final limit though.

4andnotout Fri 03-Jul-09 08:56:27

I have 4 dd's who are 7,4,21mo,8mo. I think the 13 month gap has been the easiest so far as we were already used to sleepless nights,nappies etc so she just seemed to slip into the routine effortlessly.

I am desperate for at least one more baby in the near future, dp is 18 years older than me and will be 45 this year so we can't hang around too long!

sweetkitty Fri 03-Jul-09 09:18:50

That's what I thought as I found the 18 month gap easier than the 2 1/2 year one.

Periods have just come back after BFing so this will be first month TTC shock

Disenchanted3 Fri 03-Jul-09 09:21:37

Wow SK! shock

Good luck

4andnotout Fri 03-Jul-09 11:09:41

Good Luck!!

I never thought i would be envy of having periods but i haven't had one in years now, i think i only had one between dd3 & dd4!

sweetkitty Fri 03-Jul-09 11:27:16

Same here 4andnotout, was all excited getting one last week

Dis - shhh it's a secret, just think more prams grin

Madmentalbint Fri 03-Jul-09 11:38:59

I had four in eight years. There was a 2.5yr gap, then a 4yr gap, then a 21month gap. The 21month gap was (and still is) the easiest. Having four is lovely

gardeningmum05 Fri 03-Jul-09 11:47:11

i have 4, 3 boys 1,2,11 and a girl 9. very hectic but great fun, and they are very very close.
take a look at my pictures if you want grin

i was terrified when no 4 was born as couldnt believe i would cope, but its a piece of cake to be honest wink

gagamama Fri 03-Jul-09 12:09:25

I've got three under 4 and a DSD who is 7 and lives with us just under half the time. I keep having pangs of wanting another, but when DSD is here I think no way could I cope with 5 but when she's gone the house feels empty and I long for just one more. Four is a really nice number.

MoshiMoshi Fri 03-Jul-09 20:00:35

Four is lovely! Mine are 6, 4, 2 and 2 months and we are also renovating to test my multitasking skills :-) so it is busy but in a nice way. We have no help nor are family nearby but I find it manageable as a SAHM with my lovy DH supporting us. DC2 starts school this September so the financial burden of raising 4 will be more apparent, but then it is our choice to school them privately. I always felt I had one more baby in me and 4 feels just right - not too many and not too few. I especially look forward to the time when DC4 is old enough to be DC3's playmate! Good luck with your decision!

bronze Sun 05-Jul-09 13:22:30

I have 4
ds1 turned 6 years old 11 days before ds3 was born.
Like Moshi mine are 6, 4, 2 and 2 months. I'm sorting (decorating etc) the house so we can put it on the house to move (currently 3 bed)
I also agree with her " I especially look forward to the time when DC4 is old enough to be DC3's playmate!" Though I'm loving him as a baby and their devotion to him is delightful.

CarGirl Sun 05-Jul-09 13:24:25

I have 4 and I too loved the small age gaps, 14 months was better than 24 months IMO

noddyholder Sun 05-Jul-09 13:26:20

Can I just say I think you are all blessed and v lucky!have no words of wisdom though as I only have one even if he does come with 3 o4 friends who also seem to live here grin!

posiedullardparker Sun 05-Jul-09 13:27:10

I have four, 7,6,2.75 and 8mths.

The hardest thing I have ever done, on a good day it's the most wonderful thing on a bad day it's terrible.

SNOWBall4girlz Sun 05-Jul-09 13:29:16

I have 4 dd its lovely and ghastly lol

mine are 15 8 6 and 4 would have loved dd2 and 3 to be closer but are 2 yrs apart give or take 2 weeks

my family is definately complete could not imagine a boy in the mix

good luck have fun and enjoy them all

moomaa Sun 05-Jul-09 13:33:17

I am one of 4, from oldest to youngest is 5 years and I love it so I say go for it. 4 is a nice even number, always someone to hang out with, even now that I'm a grown up

lucymum2four Sun 05-Jul-09 22:38:42

I have 4 DD1 is 5yo DS1 is 3yo DS2 is 2yo and DD2 is 1yo and i love it.. and they are all so close to each other because they are mainly into same things.. x

ilove Sun 05-Jul-09 22:45:23

I have 4...they are 18, 10, 7 and 6.5...9.5 month gap bewteen the youngest two. Bloody hard work but very worth it!

flamingobingo Mon 06-Jul-09 20:38:04

I have four DDs aged 6 and under so small age gaps.

It is desperately exhausting, but endlessly rewarding and fantastic fun. Really, really worth the hard work you have to put in. Seeing them caring for and loving eachother and playing together, and learning how to deal with disagreements and be co-operative.

So worth it smile

Pollyanna Mon 06-Jul-09 20:42:04

I had 4 in 6 years (and I now have 5). It was fine, but I did get an au pair to help me out! (dh worked long hours).

It didn't entail a new car and we had a big enough house but dc4 was an absolute monster! I don't regret it at all though, and sometimes think about no6!

lockets Mon 06-Jul-09 20:43:38

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