Just that really.
I'm pretty sure I'm asexual most of the time after some incidents in my youth of a sexual nature.
Someone tried to force me in to touching them
And older man cornered me in a shop me owned and started to grope me and wanted me to go downstairs to his sex dungeon with him, whilst my friend who knew him just stood and watched
One bf asked for a certain kind of sex and I didn't want to but ended up reluctantly agreeing but as soon as I realised bow much it hurt I started to cry and he put his hand over my mouth to shut me up so that was my fault.
I had to have sex with a partner so he wouldn't abuse me.
My friends have pretty much always been boys.
They tried to spike my drink with an aphrodisiac in a deserted forest but I found out and refused to drink the water.
All people ever seem to ask from me is sexual favours.
And sex makes me feel dirty.
But the bit that makes me a whore.
Is I'm a cam model.
I have various mental health issues and urinary incontanance.
Surprisingly being incontanant ant costs a lot of money.
I am disgusted with myself.
But at the same time think to myself, hey you women on these sites are pretty rad going for it getting that cash.
And in a weird way I Enjoy the cam work. Maybe becaise I just need to feel desired?
I feel like that's all I am worth to anyone I'm friends with really. Sex.
So voila.
I may as well do something useful with mh life.
And before anyone asks no I cannot get a job.
I am agrophobic. I do not go out at all.
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Mental health
I'm disgusted with myself (warning, thread mentions rape and self-harm)
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Kittycuddles · 11/06/2018 03:31
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