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Poll-Your Mum at the birth?

(276 Posts)
IndecisivePramBuyer81 Mon 24-Jun-13 16:28:58

For those with DH's - did you have/would you have your Mum at the birth of your first child?

RafflesWay Mon 15-Jul-13 13:48:00

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Mindyourownbusiness Mon 15-Jul-13 11:59:26

No way. It is such an intimate moment between the mum and father of the child that I could no more have my mum there for that than I could for the conception. I just find the idea completely mortifying.

MonstersDontCry Mon 15-Jul-13 10:44:44

I had my mum and Dp with me for DC1. It will just be me and DP when DC2 finally decides to arrive. (5 days over due now!)

Scoobyblue Mon 15-Jul-13 10:36:53

No. Never.

Pyrrah Mon 15-Jul-13 10:26:06

I just had DH - oh and some poor medical student... I had a pretty horrific time and very nearly didn't make it. It was his first birth and he got landed with watching someone try the normal method, failed ventouse and finally rotational forceps. Then a massive PPH and complete collapse, poor chap looked a bit shattered when he came to visit me in ICU the next day. I don't think he'll be doing OBs somehow!

My dad was my sister's birth partner - she found out she was pregnant at 7 months and had no partner (crazy, but she really didn't know and neither did my parents spot it - plus she'd split with the bf 6.5 months earlier so no reason to suspect). My father is a doctor and has lots of OB experience - even delivered my brother - plus my mother thought it would help him bond with the 'surprise' grandchild.

Babycarmen Mon 15-Jul-13 10:23:29

With the first yes, we are really close and she was such an amazing help to me I couldn't have done it without her..
With my second no, I really wanted her there, I phoned her when they broke my waters and told her to come up because DD1 was born 2 hours after they broke the waters.. unfortunately DD2 decided to be born 30 mins later and she just missed it!
It just depends on your relationship with your Mum and most importantly what YOU and your DP want.

What a hideous idea! No. No. No. Never. Would rather have done it on my own! smile

thezoobmeister Mon 15-Jul-13 01:10:17

Mum and DH both times, they made a great team and was funnily enough quite a bonding experience for them too. Couldn't have done it without my mum, she was totally calm and made me feel really safe. I think it would have been difficult first time round without her - my DH would have been so anxious and afraid, not ideal qualities in a birth partner!

ChristineDaae Mon 15-Jul-13 00:53:45

I had mum and DP with my first, will do next time too!

curlew Mon 15-Jul-13 00:53:04

Oddfrog- I love the idea of a birthday party!-

curlew Mon 15-Jul-13 00:51:50

I didn't think of it til much too late. But I do wish I had- it would have made her so incredibly happy.

Italiangreyhound Mon 15-Jul-13 00:48:32

Lordy no, my mum would have been asking me for a cup of tea and asking me to hurry up!

Lilyangel Sun 14-Jul-13 23:14:13

Couldn't have done in without DM. She was with me for 4 out of 5!!...only reason she didn't attend the birth of last DD was because I had a elective c-section. She was far better support then DH who was a bit of a tit in a trance!!!grin

bevelino Sun 14-Jul-13 23:07:39

Surely it would depend on your relationship with your mum. My mum died when I was 18 and as a mother of 4 girls I would have loved my mother to have been with me during such a special time as we were so close. I will always feel sad that she wasn't there.

zoraqueenofzeep Sun 14-Jul-13 22:51:21

No way, she drives me nuts at the best of times. For some bizarre reason she assumed that she would be joining me in the labour ward and told the entire family that she'd be there. I found out when my aunt told me! Not a chance in hell I was going to let that happengrin

OddFrog Sun 14-Jul-13 22:32:28

Well, I had DH, mum, my sister, 2 midwives and a student! Although it was a very relaxed home birth and they mostly sat around drinking tea and chatting. Mum cut the cord (DH chose not to) and she cuddled new DD while I got myself tidied up. It was lovely having everyone around. A bit of a birthday party really.

heronsfly Sun 14-Jul-13 22:06:25

My mother would have been the last person I would have wanted anywhere near me when giving birth.
When my dd1 had her dd I was in the waiting room and went in to see them all as soon as she got back to her room after ecs.

Iwillorderthefood Sun 14-Jul-13 21:34:26

DH can't drive, so MIL and FIL stayed over to take us to hospital. I had a very long first labour, and they were brilliant. Drove us to the hospital with me shouting in the back, but did ot attend the birh, in hindsight, I think it would have been lovely to have her there, as first time around DH was a little shell shocked.

Second time, my parents stayed with us, as we live 5 hours drive from them. Mum and our neighbour went in the car with us with mum driving, and left us at the hospital. DH was brilliant second time.

Jo1984uk Sun 14-Jul-13 21:26:03

I had my little girl in April, both my DP and Mum were there throughout. To be honest, it was an amazing experience to share with her.. She put cold flannels on my face while my DP held the gas and air for me.. I think without her there I would have panicked. She gets freaked out watching holby city etc but watched as they did episiotomy telling me what they were doing and reassuring me everything was fine.

I needed someone with me who had been through it before. She gave me the strength to cope with just gas and air, just as I had hoped for smile

TheThickPlottens Sun 14-Jul-13 20:10:15

No, never. And if I were to imagine a scenario where she was asked, I think she'd be late, and turn up after chatting to every other person on the way. That is, if she left the house in the first place.

jaggythistle Sun 14-Jul-13 20:00:06


No way !
We are pretty close (given the generation gap LOL) but not that close !
It's weird enough thinking your DP might get a peep of your fanjo with a baby coming out of it, let alone your mother !!
Saying that, I maybe wouldn't mind a friend or doula who could remind me I'd soon be meeting my gorgeous DD smile
The midwives (and DH) seemed remarkably reluctant/amiss in failing to mention this rather obvious encouraging aspect of birth !!

PeaceAndHope Sun 14-Jul-13 18:00:05

I love my DH. Adore him.

But I would have much preferred my mum at the birth of my kids rather than DH. I find her presence more comforting.

amiwickedwitch Sun 14-Jul-13 17:57:20

never had the best relationship with my mum, love her to bit but she drives me nuts. I just wanted dh at the birth, and when they spoke and she found out I was in labour she said right I on my way. Dh had to break the news to me, I was not best pleased and was fully prepared to tell her to wait outside, but things did not go as planned and I think that if she wasn't there dh would of falled to pieces, so pleased she was there afterall.

redrubyshoes Sun 14-Jul-13 17:39:59

Hell no! She would tell me to get a grip and stop making a fuss even if I was having a bottom first breech whilst biting on a stick behind a tree.

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