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To Have taken DS1 to the police station over this latest incident?

(83 Posts)
TheLadyEvenstar Thu 17-Sep-09 21:23:36

DS1 started secondary on the 7th Sept. He loves it BUT

second day there his p.e shorts were stolen
fourth day there he was hit by a group of 15 yr 8 boys because he had stood on a coin
seventh day there yr 8 boy punches him in the stomach because its fun apparently hmm

Today he phones and asks if he can go to football trials, so i say yes (feeling happy that he has finally took an interest in sport!)
I expect him to call at 4.30 to say he is on way home, by 4.45 i am frantic as he did not call, I called him blush to be told by him he was looking for another gate out as one of the yr7 boys had threatened him. So I told him to put his phone away and just get home asap so i knew he was safe. I hung up the phone and within minutes had a feeling that something was wrong with him so i called back he was in a panic because said boy was coming at him across the grass. A couple of other boys from his class caught up with him and asked him what was wrong so he quickly explained while i was on the phone and they then walked with him halfway to the bus stop.
Thats when I went off the phone. At this point the said child caught up to where he was and followed him the rest of the way to the bus stop as ds1 was about to get on the bus he looked behind him and this child punched him in the stomach winding him.

Now I didn't know this but something made me call him and he was in tears, so i met him at the stop and took him to police station to report it as a crime. The police are going to investigate it and are also contacting the school about the other incidents as I have had no joy with them sorting things out. We were told this is a case of ABH and that they were taking it seriously.

AIBU to have done this?

abra1d Thu 17-Sep-09 21:26:20


How is your son now?

laweaselmys Thu 17-Sep-09 21:27:47

No. Stand your ground. And your DS will know you are sticking up for him. (It was nice of the other boys to try and help him though.)

IF the school question it, just say you went to the police first because this happened outside of school grounds and because it was the second time he was physically attacked.

HerBeatitude Thu 17-Sep-09 21:28:10


If more parents did this, schools and the police would take this kind of constant assaults more seriously.

Good for you.

Hope your DS feels better

ChunkyMonkeysMum Thu 17-Sep-09 21:29:04

No, YANBU !!!!!

Well done for doing something, seeing as the school obviously aren't.

Is your son ok ?

moffat Thu 17-Sep-09 21:29:12

YANBU at all - poor ds.

MillyR Thu 17-Sep-09 21:29:20

YANBU. More parents should do this.

HerBeatitude Thu 17-Sep-09 21:29:29

The school haven't even got the right to question it.

It's a criminal assault, end of.

slipperthief Thu 17-Sep-09 21:29:30

Bloody right. That's more than just a bit of mild bullying - the school should take that really seriously.

Is he alright?

IrishDraught Thu 17-Sep-09 21:29:30

YANBU - I do hope your DS is OK. If it was 2 adults it would be assault and I think there is no difference if it is children (bar toddlers wink) How awful {{hugs}}

snapple Thu 17-Sep-09 21:30:40

YANBU - I think you were correct in your actions. Your DS was a victim.

I hope the police follow up on this. shock

Best wishes to you and your DS.

liahgen Thu 17-Sep-09 21:30:51

bloody hell that's awful.

Hope the kids get a proper roasting for this. Poor ds, is he ok?

plonker Thu 17-Sep-09 21:31:07

No, YANBU at all. Your poor ds sad

Disgraceful that the school aren't taking it more seriously - I'm appalled!

Hope your ds is ok and that you get it all sorted.

TheLadyEvenstar Thu 17-Sep-09 21:32:46

He is still very subdued (if thats the right word) and has a pain in his stomach. He is telling me he is not going to school tomorrow and tbh i don't want to force him considering how he feels but i don't want to reinforce him not wanting to go iyswim?

Heated Thu 17-Sep-09 21:33:33

Good decision. It's assault. Hope the police scare the bejesus out of him and the school come down on him like a tonne of bricks.

Can't quite believe what a horrible start your ds has had to secondary school (it's very unusual ime) & bless him for still feeling so positive about it all.

groundhogs Thu 17-Sep-09 21:34:25

yanbu at all - poor DS, poor you.. hope it all gets sorted out fast!

pigletmania Thu 17-Sep-09 21:34:48

Oh my gosh your poor ds, you should report these to the police, does not matter if its in a school its assault. Hope that your ds is ok

pigletmania Thu 17-Sep-09 21:35:41

Have you informed the head teacher. if nothing is done about the bullying i would seriously think about moving schools.

Heated Thu 17-Sep-09 21:36:48

Sorry, didn't see your last post before mine. It's very natural for ds to feel like he does. The school's job will be to reassure him and to say what action they are going to take and what he needs to do/who to go and see if there is anything at all - an unkind word, anything - from these most unpleasant children.

Can I ask roughly what neck of the woods you're in (just wondering if I know the school)

HerBeatitude Thu 17-Sep-09 21:38:38

I would let him stay off if he has a pain.

It will re-inforce to the school that he has been injured by one of their pupils and that this is a serious matter.

I think he can be cut a bit of slack - if I'd been assaulted today, I might want to stay off work tomorrow.

slipperthief Thu 17-Sep-09 21:39:01

Does he have some friends there that can stick with him tomorrow? Will you be heading straight to the head's office - prob not the place he'd want to be but might be happier with his mates about & teachers aware of it? Can see why he wouldn't want to go in but that could be harder to shift the longer he's away?

TheLadyEvenstar Thu 17-Sep-09 21:40:17

Heated, I am in south east london will say one name should tell you where i am Damilola Taylor.

Piglet the headteacher oddly enough is never around but i bet you tomorrow he will be. I have a crime reference number to give them.

bruffin Thu 17-Sep-09 21:40:55

You were right, when DS started Yr7 he got stopped 3 times in 2 weeks by some boys from another school trying to mug him,pushed him off his bike, one time punched him.

The police took it extremely seriously and we went into the other school to identify them.

Not sure what happened after that, but the boy got permanantly excluded in the end.
Our school was brilliant and even offered to send a taxi to pick him up/take him home if he was scared to go to school.

snapple Thu 17-Sep-09 21:42:21

I would allow him to stay at home, so he feels safe and secure. I'd spoil him with love and support over the weekend and then he can start afresh on Monday.

ravenAK Thu 17-Sep-09 21:42:44

No, YANBU at all.

I believe though, that schools can't then discipline the offenders if the matter is sub judice. Not sure how far that's true, but have heard it cited as a reason for parents dropping/not making charges, so might be worth checking.

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