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to think maybe being somebody's sixth wife is not such a great idea?

(98 Posts)
hisfuturemissus6 Tue 16-Jun-09 19:03:29

My lovely dp has asked me to marry him. He's an amazing person, bright, successful (rich) and very cultured. I think we could be very happy together but the skeletons in his closet are giving me pause for thought!

In a nutshell this would be mariage number 6 - it's not as bad as it sounds. He was married for years to wife number 1 then they divorced. He has divorced again - they had nothing in common but also had an apalling run of luck and lost the other wives - very, very sad sad

Part of me thinks I should just go for it - but another part of me is hesitating and I don't know what to do. I would love to get married and have a big do and settle down to being stepmum to his kids. But then maybe 5 predecessors is just too many?

AIBU?

rubyslippers Tue 16-Jun-09 19:04:07

hmm

EccentricaGallumbits Tue 16-Jun-09 19:04:41

Worked for Catherine Parr.

Hassled Tue 16-Jun-09 19:05:02

I have a feeling that you might outlive him and all will be well. Go for it.

fruitshootsandheaves Tue 16-Jun-09 19:05:29

is his name Henry?

hisfuturemissus6 Tue 16-Jun-09 19:06:05

What's with the hmm?

This is very serious - I don't want to lose my head and rush into something!

Lulumama Tue 16-Jun-09 19:06:16

he's rich

go for it

does he have a dodgy ticker too?

bran Tue 16-Jun-09 19:07:42

Who was it who said "to loose one spouse is bad luck, to loose more than one is carelessness"? grin

TBH I can't see the difference between being planning to stay with someone indefinitely and marrying that person. If you're having doubts about marrying him then are you also having doubts about continuing your relationship?

hisfuturemissus6 Tue 16-Jun-09 19:08:09

Now his heart is fine - apart from his long romantic history. LOL grin

He's got a nasty leg ulcer though - and a bit of a temper but I can manage him.

bran Tue 16-Jun-09 19:08:30

(lose not loose, sorry)

hisfuturemissus6 Tue 16-Jun-09 19:09:12

bran - he's been very clear - it's marriage or nothing. He wants us to have kids as well - he's desperate for another son actually. Is that a bad sign do you think?

bran Tue 16-Jun-09 19:09:32

Isn't number 6 the one that outlived Henry?

Podrick Tue 16-Jun-09 19:09:45

If you are not sure why not wait until he needs a seventh wife and decide then?

motherinferior Tue 16-Jun-09 19:10:37

Hmmm, I think this is the bloke who eyed up my friend Ann C for a bit. She felt they'd be better off as Just Good Friends :wink:

motherinferior Tue 16-Jun-09 19:11:38

And I got the impression his kids were a bit hard work - the DS is constantly sickly, the DD2 is a smartarse and DD1 is just that bit too into religion.

fruitshootsandheaves Tue 16-Jun-09 19:12:16

Ahh yes this sounds like Henry. My poor friend Anne B, completely lost her head over him

bran Tue 16-Jun-09 19:12:19

Will you have to be a step-mother to a DD who's a bit of a little princess? That could be demanding. How will he feel if you don't have a son? Perhaps at this late stage he's not as fertile as he thinks he is.

hisfuturemissus6 Tue 16-Jun-09 19:12:48

Podrick - that's not very helpful! He really wants to settle down this time - the children deserve it. Dss1 is little more than a baby and dd2 is coming up to the tricky teenage years. dd1 can be a bit of a grump though - but then she's nearly my age! Oh yes that's another thing - i am quite a bit younger than him!

hisfuturemissus6 Tue 16-Jun-09 19:14:14

Gosh - do some of you know me?

I guess that's par for the course round here - it's a small world!

FlappyTheBat Tue 16-Jun-09 19:19:05

If he is rich, then I would make him eat as much food as possible so he gets really really fat.
Is he the type of person who would enjoy a mediaeval banquet?
Death by gluttony, then you could enjoy spending all his money!

missingtheaction Tue 16-Jun-09 19:20:13

TBH i would insist he is checked out Down Below before making a commitment. And get a good lawyer. Is there anyone you can turn to for spiritual guidance?

ILikeToMoveItMoveIt Tue 16-Jun-09 19:20:43

pmsl at I don't want to lose my head!

Does dd2 have red hair by any chance? grin

georgiemum Tue 16-Jun-09 19:21:35

How can he be rich with 5 ex wives??

sassy Tue 16-Jun-09 19:27:31

An invalid with a gammy leg. lucky you.

Might not live long though, then you can cop off with the sexy sailor from down the road...

EccentricaGallumbits Tue 16-Jun-09 19:27:33

par for the course tut tut.

You should check whether his previous marriages were real or not, whether they were annuled or real divorces.

you may be pleasantly surprised when you find out that really he has only lost 3 wives and that some natural causes were to blame.

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