To have accepted the offer of a lift from a (very) senior colleague

[bluecardrive]

Next week there is a big conference for my job, it's the first in-person one I will have been to. Around 10 of us are going and it's in a town around 2h from me.

I live in the same town as a very senior colleague of mine (she is my manager's manager's manager). I am very low down on the hierarchy, pretty much at the bottom... She offered to drive us both there and I accepted as it will be really helpful, I was a little worried about how to get to the conference via public transport as I don't drive and it's a bit of pain to get to. It also eased my nerves to know I won't be turning up alone and getting lost(!)

However, I'm now starting to worry I've made some kind of faux pas and I should not have accepted the offer and it was done as some kind of abstract kind gesture rather than an actual invitation. I have never met this colleague in person, only remotely and very briefly via Zoom. I'm worried about struggling to make conversation during the drive, how to broach the awkward topic of offering money for fuel, etc.

I am wondering whether I should email and say thank you for the offer but I have now managed to sort out transportation so I no longer need a lift? Or whether to just brazen it out?

[Mrstamborineman]

Nothing to brazen out. She offered you accepted.

[Justmuddlingalong]

Don't be daft. Accept the lift.

[Sally872]

I expect she is happy to give you a lift or she wouldn't have risked offering. Be polite and make small talk.

[saveforthat]

She wouldn't have offered unless she meant it and surely any travel costs can be claimed on expenses. Just be yourself. Great networking and should be a good contact.

[HeyManIJustWantSomeMuesli]

She's just a fellow human, she offered. It is fine.

[burritofan]

Be polite, ask when you set off if she has trouble getting fuel what with the supply crisis and use that as your opener to say “Please let me know my share of the petrol to reimburse you” (though she may just say it’s going on expenses so not to worry). Bring wine gums and offer to navigate.

[Aurorie11]

She's just a person. Don't overthink it and enjoy the lift

[Blossomtoes]

Accept the lift and don’t insult her by offering money.

[GemmaRuby]

Don’t worry, she wouldn’t have offered if she didn’t want to. It would seem a bit odd and unfriendly to decline the lift now after you’ve already accepted.

She’ll probably take the lead in topics of conversation and/or put the radio on. I really hate the word networking, but it really is a good networking opportunity!

[VimFuego101]

She's probably fairly used to driving others when needed in order to save the company money on people claiming expenses for travel. I think you're overthinking 😊 it was perfectly fine to accept her offer.

[Lawnpop]

Wouldn’t she be claiming travel expenses? Where I work if there’s more than one of us going somewhere then it’s expected that we car share so we are as efficient as possible and only one travel claim

[OrangeTortoise]

Take the lift! Offer to pay for petrol but don't insist, accept a refusal gracefully. Think of a few topics of small talk beforehand but don't worry if there are silences, 2hrs is a long time to chat for. It will be fine.

[Leftbutcameback]

I know what you mean - I ended up randomly having breakfast with our chairperson. It was very nerve wracking. Turns out we talked about what everyone else does - food, tv and weather!

[OchonAgusOchonOh]

Take the lift. Do not offer money. Maybe have a few topics ready to discuss, ranging from general work stuff relating to the conference to non-contentious stuff in the news. If she turns the radio up, you don't need to talk.

Look on it as an opportunity to impress her, so be professional but friendly. Don't start discussing love island or similar

[cooliebrown]

I have found most senior managers to be very good at making conversation, to be honest, and I think good managers, however senior, find it worthwhile knowing something about their people, however junior - beyond what they see at work - so don't pull out of the lift, sit back and enjoy the ride.

And, if they would have paid your expenses if you went by public transport then you can be pretty sure they'll be paying for manager's fuel. Make the offer, but don't worry about having anything in your purse, iyswim....

[Kite22]

Just accept the lift.
Don't need to offer petrol money - it is most likely she will be able to claim on expenses anyway, and even if not, she is going anyway, and it isn't costing more to have a very junior colleague in the car.
Don't overthink it.
Perfectly normal for more senior folk to look out for more junior staff.

[Sarahlou63]

She's possibly looking forward to having some company on the drive, don't let her down. Lots of non work stuff you can talk about.

[NinetyNineRedBalloonsGoBy]

She's a human, so are you. It's only your job title which are different.

[PeterPomegranate]

Take the lift! She offered you accepted. Don’t place too much weight on her being so senior. Although I’d probably avoid completely slagging off the organisation’s strategy 😉

[8dpwoah]

There's no way she would have offered it if she wasn't happy to do it (it's not like you're the one offering to take a very senior colleague which could be seen as having an ulterior motive if somebody chose to take it like that) so please don't worry. A brief thank you card when you get back is as much as you need to be thinking of.

[TintinIsBack]

She will be reimburse for the transport so don’t worry about the fuel.
You’ll find things to talk about. She isn’t an alien.
She proposed to take you. It’s ok to say YES.

[FinallyHere]

say thank you, there and back.

No need for flowery speeches, just a simple thank you very much.

[SirChenjins]

Don’t be daft - she wouldn’t have offered if she didn’t mean it! Don’t be put off by her seniority - she’s just a person (who at some point in her career would have been further down the ladder too) who’s doing a nice thing for a colleague

[Muttly]

Do complain about the strategic direction of the company or the senior management team and all will be fine. 🤣

[Georgyporky]

Don't offer money - it's probably a company car, or she'll be claiming exes anyway. Just say how much you appreciate the lift.