Attending a wedding in an amber country

[Amberwedding1234567]

Am I being unreasonable to not want to attend a wedding in an amber country?

Would have to isolate in that country for 7 days before wedding as not double jabbed then have to isolate on return for 10 days. It’s a close family members wedding.

It's not doable is it?? For most people. When will you be double jabbed?

YANBU in not wanting to attend.

However dependent on how close a relation and existing relationships etc etc you may find people think you are unreasonable if you actually don't attend.

Presumably they live in this other country? If they live in UK and are getting married abroad YADNBU.

when is the wedding? Will they even let you in? I know someone who drove to Italy to see her elderly parents and got questioned at every border as to what she was doing and why.

Can you isolate afterwards? Even though I WFH company policy is quarantine has to be taken as holiday

do you have DC?

Couple are from the country they are getting married in.
I have a DC who would stay here with her mum (we are together but mum can’t WFH due to her job so she is not going). Other people are going from the UK and are isolating/able to work remotely, as can I, but they are single/no children.

It depends if you have the time, and can take the hit from loss of earnings. We’ve just been looking into going to an amber country, and for us it’s the cost of testing that’s prohibitive. Seems that even if the country doesn’t need it the airlines still insist. When’s the wedding? I’m hoping things will ease in a month or so (Although I’m an eternal optimist)

That's a lot of time isolating etc. I would expect anyone to do that for my wedding.

*wouldn't

As long as you can treally self isolate on your return, it'll be fine.

That means separating yourself from the rest of your household

www.nhs.uk/conditions/coronavirus-covid-19/self-isolation-and-treatment/how-to-avoid-spreading-coronavirus-to-people-you-live-with/

So it's a huge ask for your DP: you are having to travel,at leat 7 days beforehand, time at and around the wedding itself, travel time and 10 days SI with minimal ideally no contact with rest of household.

That's 3 weeks doing everything on her own.

That's a big ask, but I can see why you might want to go for it for very close family.

It is a long time to be away from your DC and your wife/partner.

You are definitely not being unreasonable. Are you being told that you 'should' go?
It's really ridiculous to expect a person to have to jump through so many hoops to attend a wedding.

There is no way I would do that.

Not a chance would I go.

17 days of self isolation for someone else's wedding? I don't think I would even do that for my own!

No, not even if the country was green. Changes can happen quickly, travel allows the virus to spread and big gatherings still seem to risky to me.

It's not about wanting or not wanting. If you cannot afford all the self isolation, you cannot affor all the swlf isolation🤷🏻
Many of us haven't seen our families for very long time due to these rules. Not because we don't wnat to, but because we can't.
No one should get shitty about that to you

Nope, I wouldn’t go. I’d go if my parent or child was very seriously ill and needed me. But I don’t regard weddings as a big deal except to the couple getting married so three weeks of hassle, isolation and cost (plus the potential for getting stuck) for the sake of one event wouldn’t be a trade off I’d be willing to make. Send a nice gift and your apologies.

Never mind isolating, have you factored in the cost of tests? It is eye watering.

I wouldn’t go. A relative of mine has had to cancel a wedding in an Amber country because the British guests wouldn’t be able to come. Outside of immediate family I think isolating for 17 days, 7 of those in a hotel, is too much to attend a wedding.

Thanks for all your responses. It is immediate family - one of my siblings. I just feel like I’m not doing enough to go and I don’t want to look back and regret that I didn’t go, but I also think that if I go, I will be sat in a hotel room regretting that I am there.

I wouldn't go. Not even for a sibling's wedding. Weddings overseas when you can have a holiday, maybe. But all those days isolating is an extreme ask for a half hour ceremony and party. Actually I wouldn't even do it for my own wedding!

Totally not unreasonable.

My brother was planning a wedding in a European country this summer (booked in early 2019 and already postponed once). They've now postponed it for the second time because the vast majority of the people they wanted to invite couldn't afford the tests, isolation, extra annual leave etc.

If they had somehow decided to go ahead I probably wouldn't have gone - possibly if it was just me, though even then I'd probably have regretted it, but I have an active toddler and isolating with him for 10 days would not have been worth him going to his uncle's wedding.

Not a chance I'm afraid even for a sibling.

As others have said it's such a big ask if you & your OH and a wedding isn't life & death

@Amberwedding1234567

Thanks for all your responses. It is immediate family - one of my siblings. I just feel like I’m not doing enough to go and I don’t want to look back and regret that I didn’t go, but I also think that if I go, I will be sat in a hotel room regretting that I am there.

They should fully understand that. It's sad, but if you can't do it, you can't do it🤷🏻