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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to travel 1.5 hours for antenatal appointments

54 replies

kgap · 02/07/2021 20:16

Hi everyone, looking for some advice on whether 1.5-2hr is a reasonable commute time for antenatal appointments/birth. Would you choose your nearest hospital (20 mins drive) or one that is better rated by CQC? My nearest is rated good but so far they have been haphazard at best. They were supposed to call me with my blood results and did not and only booked me in for fetal RhD test after prompting. Because of their negligence I have had to take Anti-D without knowing whether I actually needed it or not which was very distressing to me. A better hospital is an hour drive away and could be 1.5 hours or two hours away if traffic is bad. I am a low risk pregnancy, so I don’t know whether to stick with the convenient devil I know or switch to a better trust. I have been to this other trust and I have the money to stay nearby for a week or so closer to the birth if needed. What would you do? AIBU - stay with the nearby hospital. YANBU - go for the better but further one.

OP posts:
Iwouldlikesomecake · 02/07/2021 20:20

‘Term pregnancy’ is 37-42 weeks. You are more likely to go overdue with a first baby but there’s no knowing when your baby will arrive. Also, consider that afterwards you aren’t going to want to do a 1.5-2hr drive home with a very tiny newborn.

Also why did they book you in for rhesus d testing if it was too late and you had to have anti d anyway?

I’d be more inclined to make a PALS complaint and see if you can have a more consistent team at a local unit.

8dpwoah · 02/07/2021 20:22

As much as I have done a post today moaning about the trust I'm in, and looking to change, I'd only be adding 10 minutes on. I really wouldn't want to be that far away from my hospital (and staying in a hotel the run-up is highly unlikely to work out or be what you feel like doing at that stage tbh), if they were my choices I'd be staying where I was but making damn sure I knew exactly what they should be doing and when and pushing for it, there are loads of professionals on these boards that you can run things last as well.

Eleoura · 02/07/2021 20:25

No advice on which hospital, but what do you mean by having Anti D without the results??? Anti-D is given if you are rhesus negative and the packet will be specifically written up for you- the same details and checks are needed as giving a blood transfusion or other blood product! Its not like getting a flu vaccine out of the fridge and giving it to anyone- anti D is far more regulated and requires many more checks before being given.

Megan2018 · 02/07/2021 20:25

Absolutely no way would I do that length of trip with a newborn. You’d have to stop so often. Just no. Stay local.
My local hospital was 45-60 mins away and that was bad enough.

shouldistop · 02/07/2021 20:27

If I was 2 hours away from the hospital then I'd have been giving birth to my second at the side of the road and as he was back to back with Meconium in the waters, the outcome might not have been good.

shouldistop · 02/07/2021 20:28

I got anti - D as standard as I'm rh negative. Why did you find it distressing?

maneandfeathers · 02/07/2021 20:30

I gave birth to my first in hours and the 20mins drive to hospital when I thought I was going to have him on the seat was HELL!
The drive home was also agony, I felt every bump and almost cried Blush

No way would I want to do hours.

shouldistop · 02/07/2021 20:30

You're really not going to want to stay in a hotel when you're in full on nesting mode. And how would you know when to go? 37 weeks til 42 weeks potentially?

Hankunamatata · 02/07/2021 20:33

Are you not shared care? Wont most appointments be with midwife at GP practise?

Muststopeating · 02/07/2021 20:34

A horribly negative point here, but if your bubs comes early or even if they don't but they end up on NiCU for any length of time then you would have to do that return trip day in and day out. All of which is less time you get to spend with baby or resting and would run a huge risk of you falling asleep. Also, imagine if you had a c section and couldn't drive.

I only mention this as I had a scare with DC3 and I am an hour away from the hospital (no other option where I am) and worried about this.

Boatsnack3 · 02/07/2021 20:34

The anti d is making me confused, I had anti D because I'm O-ve and I was told all negative mothers are given anti d, then you get a second dose after the baby is born if needed. My daughter is O+ve so it was needed. My mum was most put out when she was pregnant with me and they insisted she take the first anti d injection despite the fact that my dad is also O -ve

I don't think it's viable to travel so far and how would that affect post natal care which is probably more important. Stick local but complain about the issues you've experienced.

shouldistop · 02/07/2021 20:38

@Hankunamatata there's no midwives at my gp practice, all at hospital

mummyh2016 · 02/07/2021 20:40

@Hankunamatata

Are you not shared care? Wont most appointments be with midwife at GP practise?
Not necessarily, all my appointments are now at the hospital rather than my surgery - I presume it's because the surgery aren't letting actual patients inside still!

I wouldn't change to a potential two hour drive, I couldn't think of anything worse when you're in labour.

girlmom21 · 02/07/2021 20:41

It's not recommended to travel further than 30 mins with a newborn.

I'd also consider the implications on family if you or baby need to stay in hospital for longer than expected.

I'd stay closer to home but you also need to learn to advocate for yourself and your baby. Don't accept treatments you don't understand. If your care is sub-standard, demand better.

Aroundtheworldin80moves · 02/07/2021 20:47

I spent two hours in labour on the motorway in a traffic jam. It wasn't comfortable.

My second was a planned homebirth. Part of the reasoning was being 45minutes away from the nearest hospital.

WeatherOne · 02/07/2021 20:51

Name changed for this as it could be quite outing.

I had to travel 1.5hours to give birth as that is my local hospital. I was giving birth 5 weeks early. Went in for a planned induction and ended up needing a C-section. Because baby was early we were in hospital for nearly two weeks. Also because I had a C-section I wasn't able to drive myself home.

I hated being so far from home. I didn't see my family for two weeks. I was confined to four walls. It was not good for my mental health or my relationship as we were both quite stressed about the situation.

If I was in your position I would choose the hospital closer to home.

Crimblecrumble1990 · 02/07/2021 20:55

I don't blame you for wanting to go somewhere you feel you are in safe hands.

My concerns would be a fast labour - there is no way of knowing if this would be you. Also any chance of baby having to stay in the NICU, mine was unexpectedly in for 3+ weeks after birth and we were very thankful to be at our closest hospital.

soughsigh · 02/07/2021 21:16

You do need to feel confident in the care you are receiving, bur 1.5hrs is a loooong way. My hospital is 30 mins away from me and I can remember my DH trying to reassure me and saying 'we're nearly there now' during the drive while I was in labour and getting a snapped reply 'I have eyes, we are still 10 minutes away!' Those 10 minutes felt like a lifetime, I can't imagine a 1.5hr journey while in labour.

I've not heard of a fetal RhD test as standard, I thought they just did maternal and gave it to all women that were rhesus negative?

Original poster
kgap · 02/07/2021 23:59

Thanks everyone, these are extremely valuable perspectives that I don’t have since it’s my first.

OP posts:
Original poster
kgap · 03/07/2021 00:01

They no longer give anti-D as a standard prophylactic (at least in my hospital). After you are confirmed negative, they are supposed to book you in for a fetal genotyping test. So if you are negative and the baby is also confirmed negative you don’t get anti-D.

OP posts:
shouldistop · 03/07/2021 06:24

They still give it as standard at my trust. Can I ask why you found it distressing? Do you have a needle phobia?

nonsensenow · 03/07/2021 07:07

My first came 3 weeks early, the 15 minute drive to hospital was horrific. I wanted to stand but obviously you need to be seat belted in. There's no way I could have done over an hour.

My second came very quickly and was born at home. If we'd have set off she'd have been born on the motorway on the same 15 minute journey.

Hercisback · 03/07/2021 07:09

So they gave you something as a precaution and you found it distressing?

No way is 1.5 hours suitable unless it's your only option. The journey would be bad enough. What if you had complications and needed to stay a while? Long commute for your partner.

MouldyPotato · 03/07/2021 07:11

I'd choose the nearest one in case something doesn't go to plan. I ended up needing almost daily appointments until it was time for my c-section.

HopeValley · 03/07/2021 07:12

I found a 15min drive to hospital in labour pretty unbearable. You also might have to go in and out a couple of times. I just think it is unworkable to be honest.

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