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To think it's unfair my child is in a disruptive class

(86 Posts)
FallenLeavesAreFalling Wed 02-Dec-20 09:29:29

Not strictly an AIBU but looking for experience.

DS goes to a well regarded local school with excellent academic results. Everyone we know goes there. Most seem happy. He's in Year 1.

The school appears to be well run and the HT is nice.

However it is becoming increasingly apparent his class are the 'naughty ones'. There are definitely a few children with additional needs in his class whom seem to be supported by the TA. This is fine and I appreciate that in a class of 30 this is likely to be the case anywhere.

However the rest of the class appear to be wild! They are continually all kept in at playtime, all told off for being badly behaved. Their teacher at pick up and drop off looks exasperated and doesn't seem very in control of things. Some boys in the class have been saying very unsavoury things to my DS who has been repeating them at home. They girls are very loud and quite pushy with each other and the boys. It's all very 'in your face'. DS says the teacher is always busy telling people off. Having seen the children at parties last year I can definitely confirm they are particularly rowdy and some of the children are downright rude.

Last year was a bit better as I think he had a better teacher, but obviously he was only there half the year!!!

My DS is a good boy and we've never had any issues with his behaviour but he is getting increasingly frustrated at school with all the tellings off, whole class punishments and disruptive behaviour.

Is there anything I can do other than move him?? I could move him but not sure where would have a space and surely he could just join another disruptive class?? The thought of him being stuck in this group until he's 11 is depressing. But I guess that's just school?

OP’s posts: |
HelplessProcrastinator Wed 02-Dec-20 09:35:02

Does the school mix the classes at any point? Ours does every year or two in order to even up by ability and ensure one teacher isn’t bearing the burden of all the difficult children in the year. It’s been really positive for breaking down some of the more unhealthy friendship groups as well.

FallenLeavesAreFalling Wed 02-Dec-20 09:36:53

I am not sure. Perhaps this is something I can ask.

The school is massive, four form entry. So although the head is good I'm not sure how much they know about what's going on on the ground so to speak. Not sure who else to speak to either?

OP’s posts: |
TeenPlusTwenties Wed 02-Dec-20 10:12:06

First port of call is class teacher.
Make sure it is about your DS's experience, and not telling the teacher he/she can't control the class.

e.g.
DS is overwhelmed
DS is downheartened by whole class punishments
DS doesn't like it when....

and see what the response is.

There might be a 'head of KS1' you can go to if the response from class teacher is underwhelming.

liveitwell Wed 02-Dec-20 10:17:54

I highly doubt the whole class is disruptive apart from your angel.

Speak to the teacher before considering uprouting him. Your perception maybe wrong and she may be able to alleviate your worries.

lazylinguist Wed 02-Dec-20 10:26:31

You do get classes like this. It may be just the combination of children in there and/or it may be that the teacher doesn't have brilliant classroom management. If it's like it sounds, I expect both the teacher and the school are trying various things to keep things under control. Definitely raise your concerns, and hopefully the school will step up their measures to tackle it, but be aware that it's quite likely there won't be a total solution other than moving him.

Emeraldshamrock Wed 02-Dec-20 10:26:54

Speak to the head your concerns are reasonable.
I'm not sure if they'll move him or are the children in the other classes similar.
Is the teacher new?
It is tough for your DS.
My DD would be similar calm good.
My DS is/was the disruptive type he has SEN in Juniors with others of a similar nature and they've all calmed down and conformed to the rules they're teacher is rocking it through praise and encouragement he gets many stickers.

TheFuckingDogs Wed 02-Dec-20 10:30:32

These kids are 5 years old! I think you need to get a grip. It sounds like you may have very high expectations of young children

RufustheSniggeringReindeer Wed 02-Dec-20 10:31:04

lazylinguist

You do get classes like this. It may be just the combination of children in there and/or it may be that the teacher doesn't have brilliant classroom management. If it's like it sounds, I expect both the teacher and the school are trying various things to keep things under control. Definitely raise your concerns, and hopefully the school will step up their measures to tackle it, but be aware that it's quite likely there won't be a total solution other than moving him.

We had similar at secondary school where one particular class had been split into girls only and boys only

It was chaos due to the reasons mentioned by lazy

We complained to the head of department and head of year i think it was, I understand that some other parents complained as well

It came into force in the September, we complained in the january and it was changed by the april

Its a bit more difficult if its just the one child, without moving them

Good luck

Mittens030869 Wed 02-Dec-20 10:35:49

I remember being in a naughty class as a child and feeling hard done by when the whole class was punished for the behaviour of a group of loud mouths within the class.

It wasn’t about me being an ‘angel’, I was just very shy in class and didn’t dare to speak. My DD1 (11) is like this; she’s definitely not an angel at home; she just clams up at school and has to be encouraged to contribute in class.

I don’t know what to advise really, apart from addressing this with the class teacher.

PizzaForOne Wed 02-Dec-20 10:38:50

I think this happened in my school when I was little, randomly as we moved from year 1 to year 2 they jumbled up the two class - I imagine due to ability or behaviour being onesided. They never explained to us kids, I guess maybe the parents had some kind of info about it. As far as I'm aware it never happened to other year groups.

Raise concerns with school and discuss with other parents, might be something you can try to encourage to happen.

lazylinguist Wed 02-Dec-20 10:40:52

These kids are 5 years old! I think you need to get a grip. It sounds like you may have very high expectations of young children

It is not unreasonable to expect a class of 5 year-olds to be kept pretty much under control. A rowdy classroom environment is stressful for many children, not conducive to learning, and not a positive introduction to being at school. The OP does not 'need to get a grip'. A child's experience of the first couple of years in a classroom will have a big effect on how they feel about school, learning and interacting with their peers.

I teach in multiple primary schools. The majority of the classes are not like the OP describes. When there is a class like that, the teacher and the school generally do everything they can to improve the situation.

Mittens030869 Wed 02-Dec-20 10:43:53

But it is only year 1, so I wouldn’t worry too much about it yet. These kids are only 5/6, so labelling the whole class as ‘naughty’ isn’t helpful. (I hope that isn’t happening at school?)

Emeraldshamrock Wed 02-Dec-20 10:47:50

Teacher should not be punishing or shouting at the class as a whole.
Do they have a dojo/points system to encourage good behaviour?
DD had a shouting teacher for 2 years age 6/7 she never really got over it.
If a teacher raised their voice she shakes.

OverTheRainbow88 Wed 02-Dec-20 10:50:31

Some years it happens that there is a major issue with one class being particularly disruptive.

I would initially raise this with the class teacher, explain that your child shouldn’t be collectively punished for bad behaviour of others in his class.

Maybe the school will realise and mix up the year group.

There’s 3 Other classes in his year you could request a change of class

Is the teacher a newly qualified one? Do they need support with behaviour management?

earthyfire Wed 02-Dec-20 10:55:47

Unfortunately, my child is in a class full of disruptive children mainly lead by one child who everyone is scared of. We had a very strong teacher last year who was very good at dealing with behaviour in class but this year we have a NQT who doesn't seem to deal with it as well and I actually feel for the teacher. There is a lot of collective punishment that goes on which is frustrating. I am riding it out as my daughter is in year 6 now.

Todaytomorrow09 Wed 02-Dec-20 11:00:20

Our school will mix the classes - to ensure a balance. You may have to sit this out to the end of the year - but push for a mixing of the classes!
Also speak to the teacher/head of KS1 - but don’t start the conversation with my angel DS - just explain the concern over the behaviour he has brought home. It may be the teacher needs more support for the class.

flaviaritt Wed 02-Dec-20 11:04:48

It might be the case that this class has a less effective teacher, or there is informal streaming going on? But I would definitely raise it if my own well-behaved child was finding it too disruptive.

PatriciaPerch Wed 02-Dec-20 11:10:04

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

TragedyHands Wed 02-Dec-20 11:14:02

More is expected ito settled behaviour and starting to complete work in Y1. All of ours found it quite a big step and in most classes I've seen Y1 teachers seemed to be fighting a losing battle.
Maybe it's a class where some are struggling with the new expectations.

contrmary Wed 02-Dec-20 11:15:06

Collective punishments are just a fact of school life. The teacher can't be expected to identify the offender(s) accurately every time, so the only option is to punish everyone because at least that way you definitely get the guilty one too. They can't just let it slide, and they can't punish a specific individual unless they are certain they were responsible (think the scene in Kes where the teacher plucks the boy out of assembly for coughing, he doesn't know who was guilty to plumps for one of the regular troublemakers who on that occasion happened to be innocent).

I remember how frustrating collective punishments were when I was at school, how unjust they seemed when it was usually the same five bad kids causing the trouble. But it's a good life lesson - life isn't fair.

As adults we pay the price of the bad behaviour of others. Whether it's a strict lockdown because of idiots who ignore a virus, or taxes being high and benefits stingy because people either dodge tax or make fraudulent claims, or minimum alcohol pricing because some people can't control their intake - the people who are doing the right thing are made to pay for the actions of those who choose not to.

unmarkedbythat Wed 02-Dec-20 11:39:13

Sounds like some really poor classroom management, and the excuses for collective punishment above are embarrassing to read. Also sounds like a really awful mix, which no teacher should be asked to have to manage- no wonder they are using ineffective and unfair techniques in an attempt to do so: what really needs to happen is starting again with different class mixes. What will likely happen, though, is that nothing will change and people will continue to shrug and pretend a dire classroom experience is a useful life lesson.

Foxyloxy1plus1 Wed 02-Dec-20 11:40:11

It does happen that there are classes and year groups that seem to have more than their share of needs and/or challenging behaviour. My son was in one all through primary school. One or two can tip the balance in a classroom.

It does also sound as though the teacher hasn’t got to grips with managing her behaviour, if it’s as disruptive enough as you feel. That’s an issue for management to deal with. I’d be surprised if they weren’t aware though.

LadyOfTheImprovisedBath Wed 02-Dec-20 11:44:28

If it's a four form entry then they have option of mixing classes at end of year or just moving one or two. I had to asked for it for DS after a bad year for him and we never agian had any issues.

Though I wonder if behavior is bad this year as so many out of school groups and activties have stopped - and some children need a lot of phycial activities.

I'd check that the continually all kept in at playtime is true though as that seem counter productive - and go in and talk to the teacher about your child along lines TeenPlusTwenties suggests.

WhereamI88 Wed 02-Dec-20 11:44:47

This happened at my school. I remember being so happy and smug to be in the "good and smart kids class" and not in the naughty class. Thinking back that was such bad class management. The good kids class kept thriving because there were few interruptions, interested parents etc. It ended when they finally mixed classes but we were sth like 11 by then, some of the damage had been done.

Sorry, no solutions, I just wanted to post this as there seem to be a lot of posters here who don't believe this happens. It does happen and it's very disruptive.

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