I am not sure what I am hoping to achieve from this, but I know I need help or I'm going to sink and fast. On the outside my life is envious, big house, lovely husband, brand new promotion in the field I want to work in, great salary. But all I want is to be a mum and it won’t happen with you explanation. Rounds of failed IVF have left me angry and bitter. I have a lovely DSS (teen), but the relationship is strained as he blames me for his dad leaving his mum (not true) and I find it difficult to ‘parent him’ if I so much ask him to put a glass in the sink, he is straight on the phone to his DM to be collected, claiming that I am a bully.  He will often refuse to visit the house if I am home, which only adds to my feeling of complete isolation. He is trying to push me out my own home and frankly succeeding. I feel completely broken. I cry my way to work in the morning, not just cry but full on sobbing. A work colleague called me yesterday and his warm tone on the phone made my bottom lip drop desperate to cry, to tell him I need help. DH just thinks we need to keep moving forward and not let it consume us. That at least we have each other, that we can’t let it destroy us. So I internalise all the pain. Train in the gym to the point of exhaustion or vomiting, it’s the only thing that makes me feel strong and motivates me to hold on a little longer. So I’m stuck in a pit of utter misery. I can’t talk to my mum as I need to be strong for her as my dad is just recovering from surgery. My DSis is too busy with her 3 kids, her DH who travels overseas and her career. She was too busy to even send gifts at Christmas. Out of my BF’s they all have their own shit going on, one is planning her dream wedding, other is newly pregnant (so avoiding me) and the other is recovering from an auto immune illness and finally getting to study and get her life back. I am desperate to find light somewhere but it’s not forthcoming. AIBU to think I’ll get through this or should I let go and let it consume me?Â
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AIBU?
To think I can't get out of this mess?
90 replies
surelyitcantgwtworsethanthis · 15/01/2020 07:54
OP posts:
flouncyfanny ·
15/01/2020 09:09
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flouncyfanny ·
15/01/2020 09:13
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