Breeder refusing to give me puppy or my money back

[Ownerofsmallpeople]

I’m not sure if I’m being u or where I stand on this.
DH and I have decided to get a puppy early feb. We have a 2 year old and another on the way but not due til summer. We have wanted a dog for ages and decided now is the best time as my DC has just started full time nursery, I’m not in work so I have plenty of time during the day to train and spend time with the puppy. For a few weeks after I give birth DH will be taking over walks but I will still be doing the training during the day and newborn will be joining me on school runs etc so my routine doesn’t change really. I’ve raised puppies before so I know what it entails and also obviously had a newborn before so I don’t see any great issues.
We went to view some puppies a couple of weeks ago with DC, chose a specific puppy, breeder was happy discussing diet and training etc and then asked for a deposit. I paid the deposit via bank transfer the next morning. She has now text me last night and said she had one of her friends (who is also friends with me via Facebook) to have a look at my Facebook profile and show her what was on it and she has seen that I’m pregnant and now is telling me I’m “deceitful” and she “can’t trust me with her puppy”. I didn’t think it was a huge deal and I was required to tell her I was pregnant? Obviously the puppy is going to a good home with us so I don’t see an issue. I completely understand wanting your puppies to go to a good home that will look after them but I wouldn’t have thought having a baby 6 months after purchasing a puppy was a big deal.
The conversation went on for about 20 minutes of her basically patronising me and saying that in 6 months I would be calling her to take the dog back. I eventually said to her to either tell me she’s happy for the puppy to come to us or she’s not happy for the puppy to come to us, she replied “I’ll speak to my partner and decide”. I have not heard from her yet so I text her again saying she needs to let me know or send me my money back, she has read the message and ignored it.
Am I in the wrong? What would you do?

[ChangeInTime]

She should give you the deposit back but she's right not to give a puppy to someone who is expecting a baby imho. I've lost count of how many people underestimate how much work it'll be juggling the two and get rid of their pet when they're expecting or soon after a baby arrives. It's sickening.

[NuggetsAhoy]

she has read the message and ignored it.

What time?

[Thewolfsjustapuppy]

Statistics are against you here, if I was a breeder I would be very cautious about letting a pup go to a house with a toddler and a baby on the way. She should give you your money back.

[blubberball]

Yeah, she should just give you the money back if she's not happy.

[TheMemoryLingers]

I think you've been scammed - the stuff about your pregnancy is a red herring.

You could threaten her with the small claims court to get your deposit back.

What would I do - either find a legitimate and well-established breed club to recommend a reputable breeder (if reputable there will almost certainly be a waiting list for pups) or look for a rescue dog instead.

[OutFoxxedByABadger]

but I wouldn’t have thought having a baby 6 months after purchasing a puppy was a big deal.

I think you've totally misjudged it and would not advise you get a puppy at all. Look for an adult rescue/rehome with no issues.

I don't blame her for not wanting to place a puppy with you but she needs to refund your deposit.

[Ownerofsmallpeople]

@NuggetsAhoy this was about 4pm, she has been online since as I can see her last active status. So I’m guessing she’s not going to reply.

I understand if she doesn’t want to give us the puppy it’s up to her but also I feel that if she was going to research me she should have done it before asking me for money.
To be honest I feel that I’ve fallen out with her now so I would much rather just have the money back and look elsewhere.

[Thewolfsjustapuppy]

Raising a litter of pups is very stressful, I imagine she is a little strung out. She shouldn’t have called you deceitful as she didn’t ask and I’d be a little over the FB stalking but the fact is you are not a great prospect for a puppy right now.

[MustardScreams]

A 6 month old dog and a newborn?

You are deluded if you think that’s a good combination. She’s absolutely right to not give you a puppy, she’s being a conscientious breeder.

You should get your deposit back though.

[Wolfiefan]

You should get your money back.
No decent breeder would let you have a pup before meeting you all. So you may not get it back.
You shouldn’t get a pup so soon before having a baby. Bonkers idea.

[Thewolfsjustapuppy]

Please don’t get a puppy for a few years, honestly it’s tough raising a pup and young children.

[Catapillarsruletheworld]

Probably an unpopular opinion on here, but I thinks she being over cautious. You’ve had puppies and babies before and know what it entails. Anyone’s life circumstances can change unexpectedly, meaning they can no longer care for a dog, but I think it’s very strange that she’s said you can’t have the puppy as you’re pregnant! She shouldn’t be spying on you anyway!

Tbh, she sounds difficult and a bit stalkerish! I would insist on my money back and find another more sensible breeder.

[JacquesHammer]

she replied “I’ll speak to my partner and decide”

Maybe the partner is at work. It’s been a couple of hours.

Obviously she needs to give you your deposit back but she isn’t unreasonable to not want to let you take a puppy in what could be a less than ideal situation.

[DoloresOnTheDottedLine]

She should 100% return the money and you should chase her for it. However, I honestly think this is a bullet dodged for you. My DB and SIL bought a puppy and then found out they were expecting. They are sensible people and very responsible but they have regretted the pup ever since the baby arrived. You know this already but tiny babies and young dogs are both extremely demanding and you already have a toddler - the drain on your energy is going to be overwhelming. Dogs are awesome (as are babies of course) but there’s no rush. Wait a couple of years until your older child can really engage with a dog and you’ve got a routine and some real time to focus on a pup. Good luck with the new baby.

[ChangeInTime]

Tbh, she sounds difficult and a bit stalkerish! I would insist on my money back and find another more sensible breeder.

Not giving someone with a toddler and a baby on the way a dog is the definition of a sensible breeder. Whether she's a good and responsible breeder overall I don't know but it's utterly sickening how many people get a pet when expecting a baby then get rid of it. It's very common.

[Emmelina]

She’s probably had puppies returned in the past citing “not suitable for our family” “no time for it” “new baby, it’s too much!”, then she has a 7 month old tween to rehome which is a lot more difficult than a fluffy new pup. It’s probably happened a few times and she now has a policy not to, whether or not it’s a well researched plan and the pup will have the best home ever with you.

However it was her decision not to sell you the pup, not you changing your mind, so she should pay back your deposit.

[Ownerofsmallpeople]

@JacquesHammer this was yesterday evening she said she would speak to her partner.

Maybe she doesn’t have the deposit to give back

[makingmammaries]

Since your Facebook friend was happy to violate your privacy for this nut job, maybe they will also be happy to intervene to help you get the money back when you tell them what she’s done.

[Ownerofsmallpeople]

She isn’t actually a proper breeder she’s someone I know through mutual friends, her dog got pregnant by accident during a park run and now she is obviously selling the puppies.

[Catapillarsruletheworld]

I had a baby and a puppy, I know lots of people who have done it and it’s worked out fine.

My puppy was very demanding, but I never regretted her and we had her for 14 years, until she sadly passed away this year.

The OP has had puppies before and knows what she’s getting herself into. I don’t see why it’s such an issue.

[Ownerofsmallpeople]

@makingmammaries I have now looked her up and seen we have about 15 mutual friends so I’m not even sure which one it was!

[ChangeInTime]

She's a fucking idiot then and very irresponsible. Her dog should be neutered and I don't buy her excuses, but she's still right about the puppy situation. That said, it's possible that she is trying to scam you. In future if you do get a dog please do not buy from unethical backyard breeders like this.

[LonginesPrime]

this was about 4pm, she has been online since as I can see her last active status. So I’m guessing she’s not going to reply.

I think you're jumping the gun a bit here by assuming she's keeping your deposit, OP.

It's been a couple of hours and she said she needed to discuss it with someone else and then let you know.

I agree that she should have done any background checks she felt the need to do before taking your money, but she's less likely to be co-operative if you suggest that she's not going to refund you (there's nothing to suggest that at this point).

It's obviously a decision she's taking seriously and most people are barely home from work now, plus it's dinner time and she has puppies to deal with (and probably other stuff too). I get it's frustrating but I would give her some time to consider your message and respond before panicking.

[Mummyoflittledragon]

Of course she has to return your deposit. She hasn’t fulfilled the contract.

[cabbageking]

If she is unhappy where the dog is going to be placed then she should repay any deposit.