Advanced search

to think I should be included in the family Secret Santa?

(67 Posts)

MNHQ have commented on this thread.

UnderHisEyeBall Sun 17-Nov-19 10:21:31

Just that really. I'm not going to my parents' for Christmas this year as I will be going to the ILs. My manipulative sister has taken it upon herself to declare that I can't be part of the family Secret Santa because of this on the family WhatsApp. My parents have nothing to say on the matter.

AIBU? She's a cow bag right?

Sparklyring Sun 17-Nov-19 10:23:03

Yeah that's awful. Is there a back story?

Lockheart Sun 17-Nov-19 10:25:09

Do you have to do secret Santa? Why not just buy everyone a gift like normal?

Butterymuffin Sun 17-Nov-19 10:25:11

Message straight back 'That's not very in the Christmas spirit, is it? I'll be there Boxing Day (or whenever you will be) so I'll get mine then'

UnderHisEyeBall Sun 17-Nov-19 10:27:12

It is quite a large family and we are all quite happy with Secret Santa for adults. I organised it last year.

Back story is my sister is the favourite golden child who can do no wrong and is a manipulative bitch to boot.

BendingSpoons Sun 17-Nov-19 10:30:06

I assume you could give your gift to someone else to take on Christmas day? We only do Secret Santa when we are all together (we aren't doing it this year as not everyone will be there) but I wouldn't exclude someone without asking them.

MRex Sun 17-Nov-19 10:36:20

Does it really matter? Secret Santa is usually just a tiny thing, no? If you're very keen then just say you'll post the gift to your mum and collect yours on Boxing day.

IggyAce Sun 17-Nov-19 10:45:37

You’re sister is after an argument so she can moan to your dps how unreasonable you are. Don’t rise to it just ignore (she’ll hate that) and just spend the money you would have on the secret Santa on a gift for yourself.

iolaus Sun 17-Nov-19 10:47:03

If it's secret santa in that each of you draws a name and that is your present from the family - you should be included

If on the day you each bring a small present and pick them at random - only people there on the day are included

charm8ed Sun 17-Nov-19 11:00:06

I think Secret Santa only works well if people are all together when opening the presents.

holidays987 Sun 17-Nov-19 11:20:52

If you're not there on the day then it is reasonable that you're not included this time.

My extended family play secret Santa on Xmas day. Only with the people who will be there. Its pretty relaxed.

NameChangeNugget Sun 17-Nov-19 11:25:01

What’s the point, if you’re not going to be there?

Ponoka7 Sun 17-Nov-19 11:25:47

So if you were included, would that make the numbers uneven or vis versa?

How does it work?

I can see that it does mean that you won't get a gift from someone in your family, but as you have a DP/I laws, I think you should ignore the drama that she wants.

UnderHisEyeBall Sun 17-Nov-19 11:25:57

I have told them I will send it.

My sister has argued that is not possible.

I have told them I will send it and my other sister has piped up I should be included. My parents are still silent on the matter hmm.

wildhairdontcare Sun 17-Nov-19 11:30:08

Your sister is excluding you as a power trip.

Thehop Sun 17-Nov-19 11:32:20

Be just as childish as she is

“Right, ds says I should and so do I. 2 against one so I’m in!”

UnderHisEyeBall Sun 17-Nov-19 11:33:28

Your sister is excluding you as a power trip.

Yep. She's a cunt. What is upsetting is that my parents are ok with her doing this.

charm8ed Sun 17-Nov-19 11:33:31

Do you normally buy a separate present for your parents as well as doing the secret Santa ?

Havaina Sun 17-Nov-19 11:34:59

I would not let sis win on this. Don't wait for your parents to respond, call them and cry on the phone at being excluded!

Figtt fire with fire!!

EL2019 Sun 17-Nov-19 11:36:32

Knock the wind out of her sails, show it doesn’t bother you.

“Don’t worry, I’ll be own Secret Santa and will spend the £X on me and really treat myself! See you all Boxing Day”.

NoSquirrels Sun 17-Nov-19 11:37:48

Is it just a one present for adults in the family thing? So you’ll just get 1 present? If so, yes that’s mean.

Otherwise if it’s a on-the-day extra then meh, who cares?

Agree with your nice sister to swap presents and ignore your parents and non-nice sister?

OneDay10 Sun 17-Nov-19 11:37:52

embarrasse and shame her, ask her to explain why. Ask her is this what the spirit of xmas is about? Why would she want to exclude a family member. Ask her those uncomfortable questions so everyone can hear what a nasty cow she is.

UnderHisEyeBall Sun 17-Nov-19 11:45:30

Yes, it is just one present for each person in the family. No additional presents from parents no.

isspacethefinalfrontier Sun 17-Nov-19 11:48:01

I would say that a secret santa is only for those who are there.

Nanna50 Sun 17-Nov-19 11:48:12

As a pp said be your own secret Santa and buy yourself something lovely and save the postage costs santa

Join the discussion

Registering is free, quick, and means you can join in the discussion, watch threads, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Get started »