So I heard BIL and MIL discussing what type of girl he wants. He is pretty young and me and MIL are pretty much LC because she is an extreme misogynist who thought I can be her slave and gave me hell...
She was discussing with her son, telling him she think he should go for girls who are very simple and naive, that she will accept anything that he gives her and appreciate.. she won’t expect much from life and so on...
Then she started suggesting specific girls for him to date ... clearly all from vulnerable backgrounds.. pointing out how each girl has family issues and stating that “when she has family issues she will never leave you”.
This obviously made me feel sick.. she is obviously after girls from vulnerable backgrounds for a reason. She is extremely controlling and manipulative and BIL is early twenties and is a mummy’s boy. His mother bullys him very bad... but he looks for her approval even more..
Problem now is... an 18 year old girl I know, who came visited me once and Bil nd mil was there... started being groomed by mil.. overly giving her gifts and complementing her looks and trying to encourage her son to flirt with her. This actually started when the girl was less than 18... and once I noticed I stopped letting her visit me.. as I believed she was being groomed and manipulated.
MIL knew of her background. Vulnerable as you guessed. She made points to her son, about how the girls family are shits. Seems like the most remarkable thing about the girl to them..
I love the girl dearly and was fiercely protective. I noticed the grooming worked on the girl.. she became besotted..
I took her to the side.. and spoke to her as a younger girl... vulnerable. I told her that this boys mother is manipulative. I told her he won’t make her happy.. i Spoke to DH and told him to tell his family to back off...
Problem is.. the girl is behaving in love.. she thinks I’m there to destroy her love story.. she started hating me..
Now the guys sister who is in her twenties, had managed to get that girls number.. the girl who was initially very very close to me, has been invited by the sister over and over. Still being manipulated and groomed in my opinion..
They’re not dating yet.. but I can tell the girl has become sooo desperate. Whatever I tell her she thinks I’m jealous..
She is a relative of mine.. and I feel soooo angry knowing all the context of why mil had groomed this girl... and why she actively encouraged her son to flirt with her.. it’s all cringe and not genuine..
Shall I step in and tell the girl that they only want her because she is vulnerable and they think she will accept a shit life and have low standards and it’s not because BIL actually respects her?
I don’t actually think she wants to believe whatever I have to say.. she pretty much hates me now and has been making secret meetings with my SIL (who hates me) and they formed an alliance.
I’m older than her obviously. I’m my late twenties. I genuinely have concerns for her but losing the confidence to do anything about it because the girl has had such an attitude towards me I’m actually hurt at how I managed to lose her over someone who is manipulating her..
What would you do?
It’s not my place to interfere but I just know too much and this girl is dear to me and it’s hurting me see all this happening
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AIBU?
Simple and non challenging wife?
86 replies
IABUQueen · 13/08/2019 00:48
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