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to feel uncomfortable (mixed sex accommodation)

(194 Posts)

MNHQ have commented on this thread.

Chochito Thu 11-Jul-19 22:37:40

I'm on a work project for a month with 9 colleagues from different parts of the company. I knew one of them before as I worked with him on a 6 week project last year. I don't know any of the others.

We are all staying in university halls of residence style accommodation. The building is usually only occupied by men but as we have it for private use we have the women staying on the 1st floor rooms and the men staying ion the ground floor. There are 3 women and 8 men on the project.

Some of our clients are also here and staying in the same accommodation. There are 3 women and 4 men. The female clients are staying on the 1st floor and the male clients on the ground floor.

The clients have en suite rooms, but 9 out of the 11 workers share communal bathrooms (shower cubicles, toilet cubicles). There is also a communal kitchen, on the ground floor, which can be accessed by the corridor with the men's bedrooms or by another door from the outside of the building.

Everyone has access to all parts of the building apart from people's bedrooms and there are no doors apart from to bedrooms, bathrooms, and kitchen.

2 of my colleagues are married (man and woman) and have been given an en-suite room on the first floor.

Is this odd or am I overreacting?

Namechangeforthiscancershit Fri 12-Jul-19 08:18:14

There are halls of residence with communal showers? No cubicles or anything? I wouldn't be happy with that.

dottiedodah Fri 12-Jul-19 08:19:27

How do the students who use it all year round cope!

AnAC12UCOinanOCG Fri 12-Jul-19 08:24:05

Read the OP's posts - it's not actually halls of residence.

OP this setup is ridiculous and I can't believe your only concern is a man on your floor. Why the hell did you accept this?

MichaelMumsnet (MNHQ) Fri 12-Jul-19 08:24:40

Morning all, and thanks for the reports. We've had a quick check behind the scenes and - as far as we can tell - we don't have concerns about this thread. (Apart from the shower situation, which sounds well dodge.)

whatsthecomingoverthehill Fri 12-Jul-19 08:24:49

This seems odd. It's a modern enough place that some rooms have ensuites, but all of the rest of the rooms have to share one completely open bathroom? I've never seen anything like that.

Letthemysterybe Fri 12-Jul-19 08:27:49

What kind of place even has showers like that? The only place I have ever seen those showers is at the swimming pool, where they are supposed to be used for a quick rinse, not a proper shower. I’ve never seen communal showers even in the most basic of hostels.

Brefugee Fri 12-Jul-19 08:32:01

haven't read the entire thread but that would be a massive NOPE from me. I wouldn't be that keen on sharing a communal shower with female colleagues, but I'm damn sure that I wouldn't be sharing with the men.

Talk to HR and refuse it.

TheRedBarrows Fri 12-Jul-19 08:34:47

Ok I clicked YABU before I realised the full situation.

At the very least it needs making clear that the couple-man must not enter the showers.

I would be talking to my manager.

What happens on the other floors? Explore the building, there may be alternative bathrooms elsewhere.

hadthesnip2 Fri 12-Jul-19 08:38:13

No different to showering after playing football/rugby etc.. Years ago professional football players all used to get into one big bath together.......

However, its 2019 & I suppose everyone should have their own cubicle. If it were me & I was unhappy with it then I'd had said something from day one. Probably would have left, got myself a B&B and then billed my employer. At the very least would have got everyone together & come up with a plan - not just stew on it.

I still think UABVU as you should have said wtf from the start & not put up with it.

TestingTestingWonTooFree Fri 12-Jul-19 08:44:33

The couple should be using only their en-suite bathroom. It’s not fair to take up the already stretched communal bathroom.

I don’t understand whether there’s a communal bathroom on each floor?

If I was there for a month I’d be a) complaining to my employer and b) investing in one of these or similar:

Leapair Dressing Tent Shower Privacy Portable Camping Beach Toilet Pop Up Tents Changing Room Outdoor Backpack Shelter Blue www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B01FXNRA42/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_i_YMdkDbM1FTN39?tag=mumsnetforu03-21

Twolittlespeckledfrogs Fri 12-Jul-19 08:45:29

Can you clarify about the showers? Are they fully communal like the picture someone posted above? Or is it more like a shower area with curtained off shower cubicles? The latter while not ideal seems ok if only sharing with other women. It seems obvious that the man should only use the en suite in his room.

DecomposingComposers Fri 12-Jul-19 08:46:47

What on earth is the point in them segregating the sexes for bedroom purposes (when you all have your own rooms) but then expect men and women to shower together in 1 communal shower. That just makes no sense.

And it seems immaterial whether there's a man on your floor or not if there's only 1 bathroom so everyone has to share regardless.

Have you complained to work about this?

Riv Fri 12-Jul-19 08:59:30

Re the toilets, do the doors and partitions reach from the floor to the ceiling with no gaps at all? If not, and it’s being used by all sexes at work it is breaking all kinds of regulations.

Aus84 Fri 12-Jul-19 09:04:50

That's awful OP. I wouldn't be comfortable showering in front of anyone other than my DH, man or woman.

@Twolittlespeckledfrogs
She has clarified. They are open like the picture.

Judashascomeintosomemoney Fri 12-Jul-19 09:16:44

Blimey, do you have individual shower heads or do they just hose you all down together? Might as well. YANBU. My DD is doing NCS and I was a bit hmm about them being expected to share rooms and bathrooms with people they’ve never met before, because it’s not ok to treat children like that when you wouldn’t treat adults the same. Clearly I was wrong about that.

regmover Fri 12-Jul-19 09:32:52

Well, I wouldn't stay. Assuming you're in the UK ring ACAS.

Jaxhog Fri 12-Jul-19 09:34:17

So you could be naked alongside a male colleague in a communal shower? That is more than a bit grim. Can't they designate different hours for male and female showers?

In the past, I've been on work trips where we were asked to share a hotel room with a colleague who we didn't know. Always the same sex though.

Yabbers Fri 12-Jul-19 09:37:48

The showers do NOT have cubicles, it's a communal shower like at the gym.

I find this very hard to believe. It would be unacceptable for any employer to expect employees to use a communal shower like this, regardless of their sex.

SoundofSilence Fri 12-Jul-19 09:38:05

I wouldn't want to use a communal shower like that. The rest wouldn't bother me.

GlamGiraffe Fri 12-Jul-19 09:38:51

What crazy type of business do you work in @Chocito ? Id love to year what kind of sector thinks this is ok.
It can't be very lucrative or have intelligent management if they resort to this. You all should be complaining like mad and potentially boycotting work as it's unreasonable.

Union? ACAS maybe?

Worst case scenario is have an occupied sign for now. String a shower curtain across the entrance to prevent prying eyes and maybe shower in a cheapo bikini too.
Really though id walk out.

Your company clients must think your company are very strange and have a low opinion of the way they treat their staff. This cannot have gone unnoticed.

You say uni type accommodation, it realistically isn't so what is the main use if the building normally?

Questions questions. We need to know please OP.

soulrider Fri 12-Jul-19 09:51:25

We had communal showers in university halls of residence (Nottingham) in 1998. I doubt they still exist, especially as that hall is now mixed sex.

For me, if I had a choice between sharing a bedroom with someone with an en suite v a private bedroom with communal showering I'd choose the latter but wouldn't consider either option appropriate in a work situation

TheOnlyLivingBoyInNewCross Fri 12-Jul-19 09:54:53

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

legalseagull Fri 12-Jul-19 10:32:31

Huh? How is this different to hotels? You have your own rooms. Bizarre that the sexes have even been split on to different floors

legalseagull Fri 12-Jul-19 10:35:35

Whoops just saw the shower layout. That's awful. No way

HappyLoneParentDay Fri 12-Jul-19 10:43:22

I can't believe people reported this thread just because they 'can't imagine' a scenario like this. Jeez some people really need to realise that just because a situation hasn't happened to you that does not mean it cannot happen!

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