Aibu - to want to get to 8 stone

[user1471514421]

Hi all

Hi everyone

I have recently joined mumsnet, received great advice on another thread, so thought I would get your thoughts on something else that is bothering me.

Before I had my children I embarked on a healthy eating regime, eating well and exercise to prepare my body as such.i was 10st 3lbs. My weight was approx 9st 3lbs when I fell pregnant, I am 5ft 4. I had 2babies 14months apart, the eldest just turned 3.

Following each birth i was, looking back, probably obsessed with getting my weight down and back to 'normal'. I am now 8st 6lbs, am still not happy and feel now my ideal weight would be 8st, this is the target.

However, I am not sure if I am on a route to something else here. I find I think frequently about my weight and am prone, to what I have now discovered is body checking, particularly my hip bones, throughout the day.

Am I headed in the wrong direction or is this a normal weight loss goal?

[HeartZone]

Use the nhs bmi calculator, put in the stats and see what it comes up with?

[Confusedbeetle]

Yes I think you know you have a problem here. Weight loss can be very intoxicating. 9stone at 5ft 4 sounds a healthy weight. It is what is going on in your mind that is less healthy

[Perty01234]

I think you know the answer already OP and you have already identified it’s not a healthy place to be in.
The fact you have identified it shows I think you want help with these thoughts.
Weight loss can be healthy however the traits you are talking about are more obsessive behaviour... have you thought about going to your GPs?

[IceRebel]

You definitely sound overly concerned and conscious about your weight. If you were my friend I would be worrying about your obsession, and would encourage you to talk to someone.

[Siameasy]

It’s hard to be sure without knowing you. I’m the same height as you and that would be skeletal (and impossible) for me. But if you’re fine boned or less muscular it could be right for you.
I don’t know if checking your hip bones sounds healthy. I do think about my weight but it wouldn’t occur to me to want to be bony. Is that your gauge?

[IM0GEN]

If you use a rough guide like the NHS BMI calculator, that will tell you that 8st is within the healthy range but at the lower end. But that’s only a rough guide - it depends on other things like your ethnicity and your build.

But the fact that you are asking here indicates to me that you suspect you have a problem. Is that right ?

You have used the word “ obsessed “ , say that you are not happy And that you are body checking . Do you want to say more about that ?

[Chowmum]

AIBU Possibly not the best place to post this. Having said that, 8st 6 probably puts you slap bang in the centre of a healthy weight range. 8st takes you much closer to the low end. You were not even close to 8st before having children, so it's not even a case of regaining your former "figure".
I think you know the answer, you are heading into dangerous waters.

[KissMeBunty]

I have an EA and this sounds a lot like me when I'm not in a great place. It is SO addictive.
Also remember that although you may be in the healthy BMI range, that doesn't mean you don't have an EA. I have been on the high end of normal BMI (as well as underweight) and really unwell mentally.

[WeepingWillowWeepingWino]

8st 6 at your height is pretty slim, depending on how petite you are buildwise. 8st could be very slim indeed.

Obsessing over your hip bones doesn't sound like a healthy mindset.

[MirandaWest]

8 stone is within the healthy range for 5 foot 4. I can see that if your Wright is something you’re thinking about a lot then that could be an issue. And if you got to 8 stone, would you want to lose more do you think?

[BloodsportForAll]

There was a thread recently about weight and a lot of us said our weight and height and what weight personally works best for us and it's amazing how different it is for several people of the same reported height. I am 5' 4" and my ideal weight is 11st because I look absolutely ridiculous under that, my shape just doesn't work. But I would be considered half a stone overweight!

My thought is that you shouldn't be under the weight you already are. 8 1/2 sounds reasonable but less sounds obsessive and wrong.

However.

You might be slim built, slight etc. So you may genuinely look 'right' at 8st. We can't really advise without scrutinising your body past a point most of us, and you, would be comfortable with.

If you see your GP, they can weigh you and look at you and advise you if it's appropriate for you to lose more.

[JugglingMummyof2]

I am 5'2" and my happy weight is 8st 6. My body refuses to go beneath that for more than a day or two. I do not think 5'4 " and 8 stone is sustainable over the age of 21.
Be very careful with this route OP, you know you are on a slippery slope and having seen my daughter friend almost kill herself when it became bigger than her I beg you to step away while you still can.

[hidinginthenightgarden]

I am 5ft almost exactly. I weigh 8st 10 and am constantly being told I shouldn't loose anymore weight. In reality I think I could get down to 8.5 stone. 8 stone would not be good for me and I suspect not for you either.

[Handofglory]

I am the same height and did a very similar health kick from a very similar starting point before pregnancy! I was just over 9 stone when I fell pregnant the first time and have only got back to that weight a couple of times over the last 10 years!
I’d be happy at 9, ecstatic at 8stone 7 but a bit concerned at anything below that. I think I’d look very ropey indeed at 8.
So I think you do need to take care and try to obsess a bit less

[mynameiscalypso]

I don't think other people sharing their weight/height is necessarily helpful - this isn't about the number per se but what it represents. The vast majority of people with eating disorders are not underweight in any event.

[dreichuplands]

I am the same height as you OP and am currently the same weight, I am happiest at 8st but in the forties struggle to stay at that weight. But I have spent most of my adult life around that weight and when I am half a stone over I really don't think too much about it.
I don't think it is the weight which is an issue so much as the obsessing over it. Obsessing over weight isn't emotionally healthy. I would go an talk to your GP and perhaps consider counselling.

[Rachelle11]

I am 5'4 8 stone but that's typically where my body naturally goes. If I'm stressed I'm a few pounds lighter but that's not a healthy weight loss. It sounds like you know you have an unhealthy obsession which is the bigger issue. You can weigh 8 stone an be healthy, but it doesn't sound like your physical health is the issue here.

[user1471514421]

It is the checking of my hip that is stark for me, I dont even know when I started it, but if I can feel it I feel ok, which typing that I know seems a bit mad. My mam has expressed some concern and that has prompted me to have a think about it

[MikeUniformMike]

The 8st is just a number. 8st 6 sounds a nice slim healthy weight and you are probably just right where you are.
Forget the number - you are slim, you have a healthy body and two beautiful children.

[Melroses]

I was always under 8 stone at 5"5 and trying to get up to 8 stone

I fell back to this after having babies. But, I always put on another half stone or so after bf. More each time. When I see the photos, it was not a good look. It was fine when I was very young, as that was the way I was, but it just looks very delicate and lightweight and flimsy.

Nine stone is a really nice weight (I am 10 atm ) If you can do plenty of exercise to keep it toned, good posture, and you can do the things you want to do, it will look good.

[Exhausted18]

Hi OP. You sound like me a while ago. I was forever dieting and losing weight but I was never happy and would describe how I was as "skinny fat". Would you consider taking up some weight training? I know women think they are going to get huge from doing so, but honestly we are not designed to put on large amounts of muscle (unless you are taking supplements). I know at my lowest weight of 9st and a bit (I'm 5"7) I looked dreadful and my belly still looked saggy. I took up weight training, went up to 10st and a bit and looked 100 times better. I felt amazing too (must get back there, having a baby is a good way to knock yourself off track!)
Throw out the scales and start keeping photos of yourself instead. It is the best thing I ever did.

[Porridgeprincess]

Your weight, and peoples opinion on your weight here is definitely not what your question is. I am sure you know you are slim. However if it is becoming very consuming and as you say, checking to see hip bones a few times daily then I think you are going into a more mental that physical territory. You seem to recognise that which is a good thing.

[missyB1]

Please see your Gp or practice nurse and have a chat with them.

[Amongstthewildthings]

I'm 5'4 and weight 8 stone. My heaviest has been 9 stone and anywhere from 8 and a half to 9 I look chubby, but am VERY VERY VERY fine boned.

[TheSheepofWallSt]

Yeah this is very recognisably the road to an eating disorder - i know, been there. Had disordered eating and an exercise addiction for a few years before DC.

I’d recommend you take steps now to address- either a therapist or a really good personal trainer who specialises in EDs would be a good first step.