New boyfriend and I are both in our early 30s. We met just before Christmas, so the relationship is very new. We have both been swept up in it and it has been a complete whirlwind. Despite it only being 4 months we have both said that we love each other. We have amazing chemistry in every way. We've talked about the future, getting married, children, moving in with one another. We speak about one another as 'us'.
I know it seems too fast but I have never felt this way about anyone, nor has he. We very much feel as though we have both met 'the one' and have told one another this.
Without being too outing, he is in a very high position within a well known company and earns a very high salary - six figures. I earn a fraction of that amount. And I mean a fraction. He lives a very different life style to my own and wants to share that with me. He takes us to very expensive restaurants, bars, experiences - and though I always offer to pay half - he always pays as he knows it would be a struggle financially for me. He says is happy to pay because he wants us to do these things together. I will pay for what I can afford - a couple of drinks when we go out, cook him a nice meal when he is over, pay for the taxi, buy him little gifts etc. But I will admit it is disproportionate.
We have arranged to go on holiday with one another. It is something that I would love but is very much out of my price range, which I explained before the holiday was booked. I offered lots of alternatives for where we could go that would be cheaper and I could comfortably afford to pay half. He insisted that he wanted to take me to the best place as its our first holiday together, and I can just contribute whatever I can afford, not to worry about it because he sees it as a shared pot anyway. So he went ahead and booked the holiday, I am contributing but its a nominal amount in comparison.
I met up with some friends today for coffee and told them about upcoming holiday. They were all absolutely aghast that I had let this go ahead. That I should have insisted on the cheaper holiday, and I am taking advantage of him. That I need to scrape together, by hook or by crook, the money to pay my half. I do not feel like I am taking advantage, it's hard to explain to people that aren't in the relationship we are in. But I am worried about the perception that others will have - particularly his friends and family who I am yet to meet!!
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Am I taking advantage of my boyfriend? (money related)
116 replies
confusedholiday · 20/03/2019 20:59
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