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AIBU?

To want a small engagement ring?

87 replies

sarahb083 · 13/03/2019 14:09

I don't tend to wear jewelry and can't imagine having a big solitaire ring banging into things for the rest of my life! Anyone with a small, band-style engagement ring regret it? Am I over-estimating how much of a pain they are?

OP posts:
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spugzbunny · 13/03/2019 14:13

I have an Art Deco ring. It's a very flat profile with tiny diamonds in the platinum setting. I absolutely love it. You can have whatever you want!

It's similar to this:

etsy.me/2DC9Vaf

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bathorshower · 13/03/2019 14:15

I've got an eternity band - deliberately chosen not to catch on clothes etc.! I've never regretted it, and I've had the ring quite a while. We chose it together.

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NorthernRunner · 13/03/2019 14:15

This is my engagement ring and wedding band.
I love it.
It isn’t big compared to some people’s but I am really happy with it x

To want a small engagement ring?
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DennisSkinnersMolotov · 13/03/2019 14:17

Spugzbunny that's gorgeous.

I have a non-traditional engagement ring (emerald and diamond with an engraved white gold band). It suits my style far more than a solitaire ever would and has special meaning to me and DH. I'm all for non-traditional.

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Svolvaer · 13/03/2019 14:18

I have a small engagement ring, it's a plaited gold band with tiny diamond chips in the gaps between the plaited strands if you see what I mean. I've had it for 16 years and I still love it more than anything else I've seen and I wouldn't change it for a million £ rock. Big engagement rings just aren't me, I don't like rings with stones in, hence the tiny diamonds. TBH I'm not that keen on jewellery, especially "statement" pieces but each to their own. Get something you love, not something you think you ought to love or that other people will love. It's your ring, your relationship so celebrate it in your way.

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Spiderbanana · 13/03/2019 14:20

Mine was tiny. I Just wear a wedding ring now.

It all seemed a bit pointless to me Confused

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Redrupunzle · 13/03/2019 14:21

My engagement ring is technically an eternity ring. I don't know what the style is called but it's little diamonds all the way around the band.I've tiny fingers and a bit solitaire diamond would look silly. Go for what you like. I adore my ring, I like it's way different to other people's to

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Damntheman · 13/03/2019 14:21

Mine is small and flat :) It has 3 square cut stones in it but they're set flush to the metal so it doesn't catch on anything. I love it! 12 years and I have yet to regret it. Have what you want!

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TheMightyToosh · 13/03/2019 14:21

I've had both, and while beautiful, my solitaire did catch on jumpers, gloves and hair! I had to give it a lot of headspace that I didn't realise until I stopped wearing it.

Long divorced and now engaged again, this time I have a flat band with coloured stones (possibly outing to say which stones) all the way around like an eternity band and I love it.

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Alsohuman · 13/03/2019 14:22

Mine’s tiny, to the point that my husband asked “Do you not want a bigger diamond?” I wanted something I could wear every day without catching on things. My wedding ring is just a thin gold band too.

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Clarabellawilliamson · 13/03/2019 14:22

I wanted something small, I am not blingy at all! I looked at loads and decided what I liked, then we went shopping and I tried them on, and they just looked stupid on my not-delicate hands! One salesman persuaded me to try on one that I was really not keen on, it looked so clunky next to all these delicate designs with its rub over settings and triangular shoulders. Obviously as soon as I put it on i realised I was so wrong, it just suited the shape of my hands better, and I love it. It wasn't more expensive than the others either. Try stuff on and see what feels comfortable.

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MrsTerryPratchett · 13/03/2019 14:24

Just skip over it. They aren't compulsory. If you want to wear a wedding ring, get a small one.

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Whoops75 · 13/03/2019 14:26

Mine is eternity style, bevel set so no bumps. I only wanted to wear one ring so got a bling one.

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Hockneypool · 13/03/2019 14:30

Engagement rings are optional. Do what makes you happy and works for you.

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12thofnever · 13/03/2019 14:30

I also wear pretty much no jewellery apart from engagement/wedding rings.
I have a trilogy engagement ring, so not flat but not as pronounced as a solitaire.
When I first got it I kept scratching myself with it etc but it doesn’t happen anymore, I just got used to it I suppose.

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Cakedragon · 13/03/2019 15:06

DH wanted to buy me a proper big solitaire ring. I wanted one with a small stone inset into the ring. We compromised; mine has a small solitaire diamond with tiny channel set diamonds either side. I had it made with a rub-over collar instead of claws to stop it catching on things. I've had it 25 years and it's never scratched or caught on anything.

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MeredithGrey1 · 13/03/2019 15:15

I don't have an engagement ring, I just picked a slightly more fancy wedding ring than I would otherwise have had (its a flat profile, tiny diamonds set into it).
But if your only reason is that it might be irritating (rather than that you actually don't like larger rings) then I think you may be overestimating how annoying they are. Despite having no engagement ring, I regularly wear other rings, one of which has a flower on it, which sticks out of the ring probably as much as a big diamond would and although its not an everyday ring, when I do wear it, it doesn't catch on things, you just get used to it

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peachgreen · 13/03/2019 15:17

Mine's big but really solid, and a flat profile so no bezels to catch on anything. It's never got in the way.

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GinGeum · 13/03/2019 15:21

I never wear jewellery either and have really small hands, so didn’t like the idea of two rings on one finger. I also don’t really like the idea of engagement rings in general but that’s beside the point! I chose a delicate wedding band with some diamonds in and really like wearing that just on its own :)

To want a small engagement ring?
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Justheretogiveaviewfrommyworld · 13/03/2019 15:21

If you're not a jewelery wearer, how about another kind of token? A tree/plant could be lovely, it will grow witth you, or a picture or something. I was never 'engaged' was a shotgun to my bastard abusive exh, but you don't have to have a ring, if you don't want one.

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Chesneyhawkes1 · 13/03/2019 15:23

I didn't get an engagement ring at all.

I'd been engaged before and had a 1 carat diamond and it was a pain. Always catching on stuff.

I've just got a wedding band with diamonds in instead. One ring covers both bases.

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flowery · 13/03/2019 15:23

Mine’s a reasonably big claw-set solitaire. I can’t remember ever catching it on anything, and it’s certainly not constantly banging into things. I think people vastly overestimate those kinds of issues!

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mirime · 13/03/2019 15:24

Have whatever ring you like.

I have a second hand opal ring. It's not big or flashy and is quite flat, but it's the ring I liked and as others have pointed out, from a practical point of view it's good to have a ring that doesn't catch on things.

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FraggleRocking · 13/03/2019 15:27

Mine is from the 1920s too. There are lots of great value, beautiful rings available, especially if you’re happy for something with a collection of smaller stones. I wanted something pretty but low maintenance that wouldn’t get in the way. We chose it together. It’s similar to this:

m.weddbook.com/media/2679557/vintage-diamond-engagement-ring-1920s-017ct-diamond-solitaire-18k-gold-and-platinum-wedding-ring-estate-ring-antique-diamond-ring-size-7

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IWantChocolates · 13/03/2019 15:27

My wedding ring is a band that's been cut in such a way it looks like jewels sparkling (not close up though!). So I can just wear my wedding band but it still sparkles in the light. My engagement ring is a small stone but it does catch on things so I wanted a wedding band that was a bit different.

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