Thank you cards

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Yet another wedding present has gone completely unacknowledged by the recipients. They got married in July.

I also sent a baby present to a friend's new granddaughter and didn't even get a thank you text from the new mother.

Why do so many people not send thank you cards anymore and AIBU to think it's very rude?

It sounds like you are giving just to receive the thanks. How far does it go? Do you then send a card to say thank you for the thank you card, then wait for them to reciprocate.
I'm sure they're grateful, move on.

I'm totally with you OP! It takes nothing to send a thank you. Be it a card, a text or a phone call.

I went to a wedding in September and only realised the other day we were yet to receive a thank you. It's just common courtesy to say thank you to guests or for gifts.

It's so rude not to send a thank you for a gift.

I have a rule, if I don’t get a thank you, you don’t get another present. Struggling to apply this with one of my step children though. It’s just good manners!

Actually, scratch that - it’s not good manners, it’s just basic manners!

I think the sender needs to know at the item has arrived, and if sent by a retailer, that the correct item was sent.

It's nitprmakmsocial exchange to acknowledge gifts, and. The normal way of doing that is by extending thanks.

By letter or card is lovely (and having someing like that dropping on the mat has a disproportionately strong effect - not for nothing do so manythe 'little changes to make life happier and more positive, books recommend actually writing.

But by phone call, for those who have difficulty writing, or letter epsent by email are both fine as well (for recipients with normal hearing for the first, and are IT literate/comfortable for the second)

YANBU. It's very rude. But presumably they make excuses to themselves on the lines of Yeplma's very silly post.

It is rude; how long ago was the baby gift? I took nearly 3 months to send those but I hoped that people understood that.

I got married in July and we haven't sent formal thank you's yet as the photos aren't back and we had a specific picture taken to use. It's possible your friends are in the same position.

We have seen everyone since though and said thank you's in person.

It's very annoying as I feel like we're being rude. Sending thank you's are basic manners.

Wedding presents should definitely be acknowledged with a thank you.

However, I would be hesitant of being too critical of a new mother not sending thanks for a present. You don’t know what health issues she may be dealing with (mental or physical), whether their baby has any additional needs, or even if there are no problems, she’s probably just really, really sleep deprived and wants to concentrate on her baby. Which is as it should be.

My MIL’s friends, who have never met our children and probably never will, send presents and to be honest, whilst I do send thank you cards, it strikes me as really bloody odd that we’re thanking people we don’t know at all, for stuff that they send to children that they don’t know.

Slightly off topic - dreamingofitaly, that’s a hell of a long waiting period! When I got married, the photographer emailed me a ‘teaser’ shot two days later and said that we could collect the photos when we returned from our honeymoon. You might want to chase them up because after such a long time, you might not be getting any photos at all!

I disagree Carrieblu. It takes a few minutes to send a text thanking someone for their baby present. It also only takes a couple of minutes to write 'thanks so much for your lovely present' on a card and ring your MIL for the address (or even a phone number so you can text).

I think 6 months is too soon to be getting excited about this.

I agree with Dreaming

But presumably they make excuses to themselves on the lines of Yeplma's very silly post.

Thanks 😉

I specifically talking about a thank you CARD. A text or saying thanks is person should be enough?

@Returning2thesceneofthecrime we've had one teaser which is incredible but not the one we want for the thank you.

I've chased and they're in "post production". We should have them this month so it's not far away, 6 months to sort through what I'm sure are a vast number of pictures isn't too bad. Not ideal, I admit.

I do know someone who has been waiting nearly a year for their pictures...now that's taking the wotsit.

OP is right though, thank you cards/notes are simple manners, especially for big occasions.

From my best friend, a text is fine (she makes her kids sent a card as well). From my teenage nephew, a phone call is fine. An email from anyone is fine. But I do love real post - a card or a letter. And for a wedding (when I have probably spent a fair bit more) I do expect a card or letter rather than an email.

How many pictures did they take?!? I had over 1000 raw images and about 600 edited. Less than 100 of those made it onto the ‘approved’ list that I gave or showed to people.😂 actually, it was probably less than 50😂

But I don’t want to derail the thread so......

Thank you letters are important!

I don't ever send thank you cards, but I make sure the person knows I'm grateful by phoning, texting or mentioning it next time I see them. If someone didn't make the effort to say thanks to me I probably wouldn't remember it.