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AIBU?

Fuming with work colleague

87 replies

mamma12 · 22/03/2018 22:52

I work with an absolute bell end. He does no work, is openly racist (proudly admits to voting UKIP and told me he moved from an area he lived "because too many black people started moving in"). My daughter is mixed race. He has been reported and my manager has done nothing about this.

Today he overhead myself and other colleagues discussing how little work he does. He walked in and said I can hear you. I explained point by point why I had said what I said. He couldn't argue with me because I only made factual statements.

I am fuming with him and my manager. She bitches about him constantly and is paid to manage him.

It's a very small company and there is no one superior to my manager I can complain to.

The racist comments were made more than three months ago so there is no legal action I can instigate.

I need the money but I am just so tempted to go in tomorrow and tell them where they can stick their shitty job. I'm almost more annoyed with my manger that the racist pillock because I expected more of her.

AIBU to want to tell them both to F off. I'm livid.

OP posts:

Report

IllustriouslyIllogical · 22/03/2018 22:54

TBH you sound as bad as each other - he could raise a complaint about you bullying....

DaviesMum · 22/03/2018 22:54

Can you slash his tyres?

lattewith3shotsplease · 22/03/2018 23:00

Any chance you can record his nasty comments (on the sly) and put it on YouTube. {wink}

LipstickHandbagCoffee · 22/03/2018 23:06

You’re not approaching this the right way.you give the evidence of his poor performance to mgr
You don’t openly berate or deride him. You leave self open to counter allegations
And enough with all the huffy prima donna im going to leave I am
If youre going to go,just go

mamma12 · 22/03/2018 23:07

@IllustriouslyIllogical with all due respect nothing I said could remotely be interpreted as bullying. I'm at a loss as to how you would come to that conclusion. He was being discussed mainly by my colleagues who were talking about how little work he does which is factual. He became very angry and shouted at us which is why I calmly responded to him point by point. He is a vile racist. He is not bullied. I'm at a bit of a loss as to why you would see him as a victim of bullying.

OP posts:

KeepServingTheDrinks · 22/03/2018 23:09

Is looking for another job an option for you? I'd hate to work with someone like that esp if I didn't feel management had my back or were prepared to manage

inamechangedforthispost · 22/03/2018 23:12

I would be very careful how you deal with this. Openly discussing his poor performance with colleagues could be considered workplace bullying.

I would make a formal (in writing) complaint if he makes racist remarks. I wouldn't however mention hime voting UKIP. As much as I do not agree with many (if any) of their policies and wouldn't dream of voting for them, labelling those that vote for them racist is not right either.

mamma12 · 22/03/2018 23:12

@LipstickHandbagCoffee the manager is well aware of his work and the fact that he is racist. There is absolutely no allegation to be made against me. I did not "berate" him. That is not in my nature. I calmly and as kindly as possible explained the points. Perhaps I have worded it wrongly but even the racist would not in a million years claim he was being bullied or berated. I can assure you he is more than capable of holding his own.

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lostjanni · 22/03/2018 23:12

Mamma12 you were speaking about him behind his back. Then had a go at him belittling him. It doesn't matter if what you say is true it could still land you in trouble. And he could pull the I'm being picked on by all my colleagues card which I'm sure you don't want.

In my opinion record him or document his racist actions that breach hr policy wtf and keep a diary in a sense. Once you have enough data you send that to your manager. Another idea is to email the manager saying after our meeting about colleague being racist and me not feeling safe in workplace I feel reasonable action has not been taken. Could we discuss again? Then you have a lot you made a complaint.

Finally don't you have a HR person that you could complain to?

mamma12 · 22/03/2018 23:14

@inamechangedforthispost I wouldn't say that he was racist had he not made numerous racist comments to me and to others.

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Appuskidu · 22/03/2018 23:15

Why are you suddenly fuming today about something he did three months ago?

kimanda · 22/03/2018 23:16

Sounds like you may have left it a bit long.

Keep a little notebook in your bag and use it as a diary, and record anything he says that you regard as racist.

But does he KNOW you have a mixed race child?

Not that it makes his comments great, but on the other hand, he is within his rights to want to move to an area that has less black people, and is also not necessarily 'racist' just because he voted for UKIP.

I know plenty of people who are black and Asian that are much happier in areas that are 'less white.' They are not racist, they just feel more comfortable and secure when they have more people of their culture around them. I worked in housing in the west midlands for many years, and so know this to be true. As I said, like it or not, white people have an equal right to want to live in a predominately white area, without being called racist.

If he did know your child is mixed race, then he is insensitive, but not necessarily racist.

Aquamarine1029 · 22/03/2018 23:16

Just ignore him. Worry about your own job performance and let him sink himself.

inamechangedforthispost · 22/03/2018 23:16

I would document them and put them in writing to your Manager. It is much harder to ignore a written complaint than a verbal one.

I wasn't suggesting he wasn't racist, just saying that not everyone that votes UKIP is so I wouldn't mention that element.

LipstickHandbagCoffee · 22/03/2018 23:16

Your role is to escalate to mgr,keep copies of email. Sent thats all
Stop openly discussing him. Let mgr deal with issues raised

mamma12 · 22/03/2018 23:17

@KeepServingTheDrinks I think that's the only way forward. It's completely depressing working with someone who finds it so acceptable to be outwardly racist. I wasn't brought up like that so I find it very hard to comprehend.

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inamechangedforthispost · 22/03/2018 23:18

Have any of your colleagues formally complained about him?

LipstickHandbagCoffee · 22/03/2018 23:18

Sent too soon,he sounds ghastly btw. As hard as it is don’t over personalise it

Dipitydoda · 22/03/2018 23:20

Firstly this mans voting preferences are not your concern, he is as entitled to vote UKIP as any other party. Was that his one racist comment. Not ideal really but not the same as making personal remarks to someone about their race. I’m not sure what the manager would have done about it except give him a slap on the wrist or warning ( how do you know this hasn’t been done). Does the amount of work this man does directly impact you. Tbh it sounds like you just hate anyone who has different view points and doesn’t immediately jump into action to back you up. It sounds like a dysfunctional team dynamic, yes you would prob be better off leaving as you can’t control the employment of this man or your manager

mamma12 · 22/03/2018 23:20

@Appuskidu I am not suddenly fuming about something he did three months ago. My daughter is half black. He has made racist comments about black people to myself and everyone else who works there. He is not a victim of bullying. People are scared of him. I'm disappointed because I find his behaviour unacceptable in 2018 and I don't feel it's my responsibility to deal with him.

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KittenBeast · 22/03/2018 23:22

illogical - I wouldn't say they were as bad as each other. OP simply pointed out that he seems to to little work. Sure, maybe she shouldn't have been talking to another colleague about it but it hardly constitutes 'bullying', although it might in today's 'safe-space' culture.

mamma12 · 22/03/2018 23:25

@Dipitydoda my daughter is half black. If you read my post you will see that I have said he said he moved out of an area because too many black people were moving in. This is one small example of a comment he has made. He has made numerous other similar comments to colleagues. I agree he can vote what he wants to vote but I do believe he is racist. The fact he openly states he voted UKIP Disney surprise me in the least. I think everyone can agree that voting UKIP doesn't make you racist but lots of racists are naturally drawn to UKIP's ideology. Hence my reason for mentioning it.

OP posts:

mamma12 · 22/03/2018 23:26

*doesn't not Disney

OP posts:

mamma12 · 22/03/2018 23:32

@kimanda he stated that he moved out when black people started moving in because everyone knows that once black people move in the burglary rate goes up.

He has also said that "all African people stink", that Hitler "had some good ideas". I could go on and on. These are just a few of the comments he has made to me personally. He has said many many other racist comments to other people.

He knows my daughter is mixed race. He has met her.

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Dipitydoda · 22/03/2018 23:37

Given your updates he does sound unpleasant but not sure it’s going to get him sacked quickly. I guess either wait it out or leave.

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