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AIBU?

To feel totally repulsed and horrified by this news item about my son's martial art club

138 replies

userabc12345678 · 12/03/2018 21:24

thechronicleherald.ca/novascotia/1551975-taekwondo-coach-suspended-for-disciplining-teen-n.s.-governing-body-conducting-an

I just randomly came across this news article about my son's martial arts instructor, and I feel really sick. I'm considering withdrawing him but feel that's not a rational response. Fees are also paid for the next three months. Son has been going to this club for several years, never any incidents - the instructor/owner always seems like a perfectly nice polite guy, never saw him yell or anything at students (unlike some other instructors there). What are your reactions? Thanks.

OP posts:

Report

whampiece · 12/03/2018 21:35

I'm confused. He has been suspended, how can he be still teaching your son?

Chienrouge · 12/03/2018 21:37

If he’s been suspended then your DC will be being taught by someone else, won’t he?

userabc12345678 · 12/03/2018 21:37

Oh right. He's still at the club- he owns it. I had noticed he wasn't coaching anymore but didn't think to ask why- he has a lot of instructors (who compete also) and they were doing the teaching.

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NewYearNewMe18 · 12/03/2018 21:40

The pertinent part of the article

“The discipline administered was fully consented to by the 17-year-old student and his parents and is keeping with Grand Master Jung’s cultural training and tradition,” Gavras said. “The student who was disciplined, his younger brother and the parents have all written letters of support for Master Jung. No one — of all of his students — other than an anonymous person, has complained.”

Gavras said the matter was fully investigate by the police and provincial social services, who met personally with the family and were satisfied the case should be closed.

Gavras said no one in attendance felt intimidated by the incident.

userabc12345678 · 12/03/2018 21:41

I just feel viscerally sick, you know? And so confused and surprised- why on earth did he think this was ok?

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Bambamber · 12/03/2018 21:41

I think it's quite strange. Apparently the student himself and his parents had agreed to the punishment. The punishment also wasn't done out of anger, it was a punishment for something that had happened beforehand. It would still make me feel very uncomfortable, and I'm not totally sure what I would do. I would be tempted to stick with the instructor if otherwise happy and no concerns, but it would still always be at the back of my mind

SilverdaleGlen · 12/03/2018 21:42

It wouldn't bother me, teach your child to follow the rules and there should not be a problem.

Ok caning isn't something I personally would do, or would expect at school but I also can't get my knickers in a twist about it. I think your reaction is OTT.

NewYearNewMe18 · 12/03/2018 21:43

To be pernickety, this is part of taekwondo discipline. You should know that before you sign your child up.

userabc12345678 · 12/03/2018 21:45

yeah- I guess- it's just so strange, and archaic, and just so bad! It reminds me of the Roald dahl book where he describes the horrible punishments he faced at school- stuff like that. I can accept my reaction is OTT and DS can stay- just my intuitive reaction is to never step foot or let DS near that place ever again.

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userabc12345678 · 12/03/2018 21:47

"To be pernickety, this is part of taekwondo discipline. You should know that before you sign your child up." ???

Wha? no it is not! As you can see in the article- the spokesperson for the takewodo federation or whatever specifically said it was NOT part of the taekwondo ! I certainly was never told my child might face a caning (a caning??!) as part of taekwon do! If I had, I certainly would NOT have signed him up!

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NewYearNewMe18 · 12/03/2018 21:49

just my intuitive reaction is to never step foot or let DS near that place ever again.

And how does your DS feel ? He probably understands that this chastisement is rational, discussed and agreed upon, not dealt in anger as knee jerk reaction to a misdemeanour.

userabc12345678 · 12/03/2018 21:50

I haven't told him. Should I?

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Efrig · 12/03/2018 21:50

No biggie really. They used to cane children and use the strap across the hand when I went to school. I never had it as I behaved myself.

I thought you were going to say he was a paedophile or something.

People these days don’t believe in corporal punishment, but there are worse things.

biscuitmillionaire · 12/03/2018 21:50

It's a clash of cultures. Corporal punishment is still very common in Asia. I'm guessing the grand master is Korean?

Efrig · 12/03/2018 21:51

Tell your son that if he behaves he’ll have nothing to worry about.

confusedhelpme · 12/03/2018 21:52

Sorry but NO FUCKING WAY ... anyone cane my child and I would wrap the cane round his face!

OP - I'd have my DC out of there today!

Blueemeraldagain · 12/03/2018 21:53

“the teen was given the choice of accepting the punishment or leaving the school”

I don’t think it’s fair to say the 17 year old “fully consented”.

Pengggwn · 12/03/2018 21:54

I can't think why anyone would excuse this.

AtSea1979 · 12/03/2018 21:54

This is a 17 year old, not really a child. He consented to it. It sounds really harsh. Surely it wasn’t a proper caning? No one would tolerate that. He should not be allowed to work with children if that’s what happened and I would most definitely withdraw my son and expect a refund.

NotAllTimsWearCapes · 12/03/2018 21:55

Who the fuck agrees to their child being caned? What’s wrong with people? That poor kid. Can only imagine what “discipline” he is subjected to at home if that’s what they’re happy with other people doing to him.

Also, I thought martial arts were supposed to instil discipline. How did This teen get to be so disrespectful that only a cane could teach him how to behave? Is that not what the instructors are supposed to be instilling in him during classes?

userabc12345678 · 12/03/2018 21:55

Yup- he is Korean.

I get corporal punishment is still conducted in Asia etc. But a/we are not in Asia, b/ it is really strange because we have been going to this club for the past 5+ years, and never heard anything like this! Really out of character!

I haven't told DS- Not sure how he would react, but most likely may not have same reaction as me (has not read Boy etc)

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userabc12345678 · 12/03/2018 21:57

"Who the fuck agrees to their child being caned? What’s wrong with people? That poor kid. Can only imagine what “discipline” he is subjected to at home if that’s what they’re happy with other people doing to him."

Actually that's also what I thought- didn't want to sound judgemental- but yeah, judging TF out those parents.

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StickStickStickStick · 12/03/2018 21:57

Gosh that's hideous. And I'm horrified people are actually standing up for this. And in frront of children.

That has to be illegal? It's years since it was outlawed in school isn't It??

OldHag1 · 12/03/2018 21:57

You need to think things through.

Do you cancel and lose the money?
Do you carry on?

He obviously won’t do that again. I can’t understand the parents agreeing to it after all at 17 he’s still a child.

StickStickStickStick · 12/03/2018 21:58

I'm not sure it's a culture I'd want my child in tbh.

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