To throw my dads possessions out.

[Gigimoll]

So let me start, the house we're renting is my childhood home. My mom mainly poured all the money into it for me and my brother. My brother died a few years ago so the house is still legally my dad's but always still 'my home'. I've made it into that. I really struggle and I don't have a lot of money and my dad and his girlfriend ran it down to a filthy mess. I've given it love and paint and it's lovely now and I'm paying his mortgage, water everything. But it's not in my name or even that I'm renting.

So the main thing in this was a home for my family (dad has moved out as he's in so much debt for his ex and can't afford to live without my money) and my mom and stepddad decided to help us out (thank gosh) and put a percentage towards buying this house and we put the rest. The idea is in future we all move to the seaside. Me, My two children, my mom, dp and stepddad.

So my dad hasn't been a dad. He let his ex abuse us, wouldn't give my mom money for us and she really struggled with two kids, told me I'd only ever amount to be selling the big issue, you get the idea. A complete asshole. I have panic attacks every time I see him now after announcing my pregnancy with ds. He's a asshole to me over it. But pleased for his ex's 16 year old daughter who's gotten knocked up.
So yesterday I'd had enough. I've been asking him for months to collect the rest of his things. So I can sort the spare bedroom out for ds and put heating upstairs. He refuses to take it.
He then has his post delivered here still and blames me for loosing important letters (which I always put in the hallway to keep them all together.) when what he does is open them and leave them. It's driving me insane. I've put 3 grand into this home, new kitchen, bathroom etc and he wants all the money from it now as he can't stop going to gigs etc on his credit card. I want the only contact to be for the money now and that's it.

Am I in my rights to throw his things out now? It's been well over a year.

[HomeHand]

Does he have a key?

[Gigimoll]

No, the door he left behind had holes in and wasn't safe so I put a new one on. But he's taken the back door key without permission.

[Fishface77]

Eh?
So whose house is it?

[Gigimoll]

It's in his name. But I'm paying for it. So I'm technically renting wanting to buy. He's had multiple chances to go to the solicitors to sell it to me and get it off his shoulders as he's in too much debt but he refuses to.

[DeathStare]

Please stop paying anything towards a house that isn't in your name. If he isn't paying the mortgage it could be repossessed and you will be out on the streets and you wouldn't see a penny of your money back.

If he decides he wants to move back in or he wants to throw you out and move someone else in, then you will be out on the street with none of your money back.

This is madness. It would be fairly daft if you had a longstanding good relationship with him, but given that your relationship is awful and always has been, this really is complete madness. Please go and see a solicitor.

[honeyroar]

Legally it's his house. He can take whatever key he wants, it's his. You're in a strange position here, on thin ice. You're pouring money into it when he could take it away. If you fall out he may not even leave it to you and you'd end up with nothing. You need to either persuade him to sell it to you or buy something of your own.

[Gigimoll]

I've queried but he needs to see the solicitor. I've asked him multiple times to but he always blames myself and my mom for not sorting it out. But what can I do if its not in my name? That's what I worry about. Being kicked out. He's 80,000 in debt from his ex and he can't afford to live so the house would be repossessed anyway. It was valued at 100,000 and he is letting me have it for 89,000 which I'm greatful for. But nothing is being done

[Gigimoll]

This is my one shot at a house. My dp was let go unfortunately and its Co bought between my family and us. We could rent but the idea was to have something extra with the money we've put in to buy together. But I feel like my dad will screw me over

[Gigimoll]

The last agreement we had was we would rent off council for the position we're now in. An with two kids they can't entirely kick us out etc so it's somewhat stable. We were going to take X amount aside from 89 grand which is his to put towards somewhere else once sold. But he won't sort to sell.

[Chifi]

Very messy. See a solicitor.

[Gigimoll]

I don't mind paying the bills etc. But for now, very minimal is being done to it. I'm just sorting ds nursery out and that's in. But I'm so sick of lugging my dad's crap everywhere. The loft is just full of things he won't take, bedrooms etc everything

[Gigimoll]

I don't know what to do. Would I be able to sort this through a solicitor? Or because its in his name would he need to?

[infinitewisdom]

OMG all the things you have said about your dad but you are fully trusting him on something so massive!!

Never mind his things, get yourself out of there ASAP. You are basically buying your dad a house and it wouldn't like you will be left with absolutely itching to show for it.

Crazy. Totally crazy thing to be doing.

And if you do continue to throw your money away every month, don't throw his things. That's just giving him a reason to take his house and run!

I seriously question the decisions of some adults you know. You may as well be burning your cash.

[JacquesHammer]

@Gigimoll he owns the house. He has to be on board with any proceedings to get the house into his name.

Have you even got a tenancy or occupancy agreement in place?

[infinitewisdom]

Would I be able to sort this through a solicitor?

No!!!!!

You have NO rights here

[Sarsparella]

Is he actually making the mortgage payments? Who are you paying your rent to? It sounds like this house could be repossessed from under you at any moment - tbh your dads possessions are the least of your worries

Have you spoken to a solicitor or the mortgage company?

[Gigimoll]

Nope. I'm registered living here. Council tax etc. I work but my dp had has to claim jsa income based allowance? Not too sure what it is, it's his business. But nothing is written down. I've wrote it down for him but he refuses to sign anything.
Mainly this is due to my mom too. She was the one paying the mortgage when they lived here. Its more hers if anything. My dad was just stupid remortgaging for his girlfriend and her kids to have lovely things.

[RandomMess]

I can't see that you have any rights and he has no obligation to sell it to you, most likely it is too late and it could well be already in the process of repossession.

You aren't even a tenant if you aren't paying rent.

[Gigimoll]

I am paying it though. But giving him the money direct debit.

[theshipthatflew]

What are you paying? Just bills or rent or the mortgage for him? I think you need to make sure you save for a deposit for a private rental now as it sounds like it could be repossessed from under you.

[Hoppinggreen]

You have no rights at all.
Your dad could sell the house to anyone at all or it could be repossessed and you would be evicted. Your dad could also evict you at any point and you are being very naive here, nit to mention wasting your money .
Move out and rent and then assess the situation before you find yourself homeless

[k2p2k2tog]

No, you're transferring money to your parent on a regular basis. With no tenancy agreement and nothing in writing, it's not rent. It's just money.

Why are you not listening to the advice of people telling you that you urgently need legal advice as currently you have no rights?