Fined for taking DD on holiday

[Strawberryshortcake40]

Yes I probably deserve a flaming here. Just received my fine from the council for taking DD out of school to go on holiday.

Which is kind of deserved as I know the rules etc etc.

However, as I have posted on here before. Her sister is very very unwell and has been for a long time. The holiday was thought to be something for her sisters recovery and it was vital my DD went for that for her sisters sake and to get a break herself (although it ended up that she got more ill and nearly didn't go!). Therefore homelife here has been harrowing to say the least for over 2 years now, DD deals with things every day that no child should have to.

AIBU to think the school know this. They know it was extenuating circumstances. They could have authorised it (and in fact her sister's school did).

And while I don't regard my child as a special snowflake I do believe that these things should be assessed on a case by case matter. And in fact I am the only parent to have been fined from the school! Even though many people trot of to Thailand or wherever for two weeks holiday every year!!

I will pay it of course. I'm just hurt that my DD has no help or support at school as she is thought to be coping. And now this.

[Awwlookatmybabyspider]

I'm not going to flame you. My dsis is taking my nephews on holiday tomorrow.
She's told the school, because she knows my dn will go into school and be talking about his holiday,.which is on only child like.
The HT hasn't authorised it because they can't, but she also hasn't said he can't go.
It's cost them £1,300 as a pose.to £4,000 at Christmas. Therefore it's cheaper to pay the fine.

[ArcheryAnnie]

I'm sorry you've had a rough time, and that one of your DDs is so ill. I think fines for taking kids out of school are just one of those things, though, that you have to weather when you do this. I presume it was well worth it?

Have you asked the school why they have fined you, knowing your circumstances, when they haven't fined other parents?

[allegretto]

I'm not going to flame you. I think the whole fining fiasco has got out of hand! I would never fine parents - it completely undermines the school/parent relationship.

[Lizzie48]

I remember your post about your DD with anorexia, OP, you were going to take them both to Florida, as I recall. No, I'm definitely not going to flame you, I think it's very unreasonable of the school to fine you under the circumstances. I actually think the absence should have been authorised.

I hope the holiday went well?

[Allthebestnamesareused]

I agree that there would appear to be special circumstances but how is her absence generally? If she has also had to miss school (perhaps related to your other daughter's illness again such as due to appointments) it may have taken her attendance below a certain level. Those that swan off every year may have no other absences. Alternatively they may just be accepting a fine and not mentioning to other people that they have been fined.

Perhaps they have recently changed their policy if there appears to be a spate of holidays being taken and you are just unfortunate to have fallen this side of the new policy.

It may be worth asking whoever imposed the fine (I assume the Local Authority or school if they'd reconsider because of your special circumstances). We took DS once and the HT said his hands were tied and that it would have to go down as unauthorised but we weren't fined and he wasn't too bothered just couldn't sanction it for policy reasons.

[Strawberryshortcake40]

The holiday was a bit of a nightmare tbh.

I just feel sick that the school obviously don't support my DDs problems or make any allowances. It's a real slap in the face for parents like me who are battling so much shit every day.

[Killerfiller]

Hi op


Yes it's a shit situation. Is there an appeal process ?

[Strawberryshortcake40]

Yes the school can unauthorise it but not report it as far as I know.

Her attendance this year was 100% till that point. Something of a miracle as she is often ill (stress related immune problems).

[Pandoraphile]

How was the holiday if you don't mind me asking? I have a friend in a very, very similar situation, sadly.

[Pandoraphile]

Oh sorry, x-post!

[Strawberryshortcake40]

I could appeal but then I could be prosecuted. Which I don't want to do.

I'm not sure writing a letter to the school just stating I'm not happy would have any point to it? I think I will just keep my head down and try and forget it.

[ArcheryAnnie]

Do you know, though, that the school obviously don't support your DDs problems because of this one thing? Or have they been shit at other things, too? If this is the only thing, then please don't write off a potentially supportive relationship with them - they might have no idea that this is how you feel. (Or there might be a backstory we don't know, in which case, fair enough.)

[Strawberryshortcake40]

The holiday had some very scary moments and a lot of tears. But according to DD "sometimes there she was my old sister and I was so happy". So £60 is worth that I guess?

[Strawberryshortcake40]

They've withdrawn her school therapy because she is coping fine apparently. So it's all their interpretation of it. I do try and keep them informed but there's a limit to how often I can tell them how things are, really they have no grasp on it.

[Strawberryshortcake40]

Yes I wrote to them. They actually phoned me the day before to say they weren't authorising it, not much I could do at that stage.

[taratill]

It's a very difficult one. Many authorities, in the wake of the Isle of White case are now imposing fines (where they weren't before). The phrase 'exceptional circumstances' does not seem to be adequately defined and my guess is there will be some case law now to attempt to more clearly define what that means especially in respect of special needs situations. There are many parents of ASD children whose children would benefit from term time holidays due to resorts being less crowded etc and this at the moment would probably still result in a fine.

I do think that the fine is probably nothing personal just a shift on the part of the LEA but i think you should complain if you think you daughter is not being properly cared for, in respect of her emotional well being, at school.

[TheFairyCaravan]

I think it’s really mean tbh. They knew one of daughters is ill and the holiday was supposed to be good for the whole family. They could have let it go.

[araiwa]

Just consider the £60 as a holiday expense

Pretty tiny compared to the cost of 3 to florida

[Frederickvonhefferneffer]

I think you should appeal the fine.

[ragged]

I must admit I was resigned to paying £60 from the start when I took mine out (not for reasons as good as OP's). Life can throw much worse crap at you (like your other DD's illness). Just pay it & move on & be grateful it's the worst thing you have to deal with today.

"I am the only parent to have been fined from the school! Even though many people trot of to Thailand or wherever for two weeks holiday every year!! "

Who can you name that has done this? How do you know they weren't fined... If they can afford 2 wks in Thailand, then £60 is 'nothing' extra to pay per head.

[coddiwomple]

It looks like schools don't really have a choice nowadays, there's too much pressure on them. I agree that the system is more than ridiculous, and the heads should have a lot more independence and flexibility, but currently they don't. Most parents who take the kids during the year just include the fine in the cost of their holidays.

[Lovemusic33]

I remember your original thread.

I think the school are being unreasonable but I think it’s best just to pay the fine rather than causing yourself and your daughter more stress.

I’m glad you all got a break even if things didn’t go to plan ( they rarely do ).

[Strawberryshortcake40]

I will pay it.

I expect I will have to stump up for my ex's fine too. Or do they not fine both parents if divorced?

[greendale17]

£60 is nothing in the grand scheme of things considering how much you have saved. Let it go. You knew about the fine beforehand so what’s the point appealing?