Go to fucking sleep you little shit!

[Killdora]

Tell me I'm not the only one who mentally chants this to themesleves sometimes.

Dd is four and has autism. I know it's not her fault and I know it her sensory difficulties etc. but she's only ever slept the grand total of four hours a night.

In bits, not one go.

Me and Dh have had to take shifts for the last three years. The consultant has already tried her on melanin etc, but it didn't work.

I know I didn't need to go into that level of detail but wanted to explain my situation because I feel terribly guilty.

I've never openly lost my temper with dd, and would never say some of the stuff I scream in my head but it can be so vicious it makes me feel like the worst Mum in the world.

Tonight I'm hot, tired. Dd is on her fifty billionth rendition of 'Too cold Mum. Too hot Mum.' and I am calling her all the names under the sun internally.

I just want to go downstairs for once, with Dh (his shift starts at 11)

[Wolfiefan]

DH and I used to say out loud. FOTB. Fuck off to bed. When the whole parenting thing got too hard. When it was awful? FOTBN! NOW!!!!
You're saying it in your head. You're doing better than me.

[LauraMoon]

You need the book. Hang on.

[MrsEvadneCake]

Op

Has a sensory diet ever been looked at? It is exhausting.

[LauraMoon]

Go the fuck to sleep

[Bobbins43]

Right there with you, buddy.

[Neome]

[fanfrickintastic]

Yep. I say it in my head regularly! I just want some fucking sleep!

WHY AREN'T YOU TIRED!!!!

[pottered]

You're not the only one - sounds like you're doing very well, even 30 mins of that has me muttering under my breath

[DontTouchTheMoustache]

I scream it over and over in my head op. Thankfully I manage to chanel.this into a "come on sweetie, it's bedtime now" through gritted teeth but it takes every ounce of self control I posess.

[AlmostAJillSandwich]

I'm not a parent but i greatly sympathise. And thinking what you are thinking is completely normal, so please dont beat yourself up over it, you're doing wonderfully parenting your little girl.

[SharkSkinThing]

Just wanted to offer some solidarity.

Not autistic, but my 6 yo DS didn't sleep through for 5 years, woke at 4.15am (now wakes at 5.30am, hoo fucking ray). He's still a pain in the arse at bedtime.

The phrase 'go fuck yourself' would be on my gravestone.

Hope you have some 🍷🍕🍫 on hand!

[JumpingJellybeanz]

I feel for you, I really do. DD was the same. I'd be up all night with her. I'm ashamed to say I did lose it and scream at her to just stay in bed. It never worked, but years and years sleep deprivation does that to you.

DD finally started sleeping a bit when she was about 8. 5 or 6 hours a night. She's 23 now and she's still the same.

[youarenotkiddingme]

Have you ever looked into safe space rooms? There is a charity called new life who are great at supporting parents with funding towards one.

from another mum of a sleep resistant autistic child. (He's 12 now and much improved so there is hope yet!)

[Killdora]

Oh LauraMoon thats fantastic! Made it feel just a little more bearable! (Hiding under the cover with my headphones on )

Yes we've tried pretty much everything.

As dd doesn't appear to suffer any of the ill effects of lack of sleep consultant said maybe she just doesn't need much

Thank you, it just makes me feel so awful. It's so much easier to feel calm in the day.

Come nighttime I just want to run away. I've tried meditation etc.

I just keep telling myself 'just one more year. Maybe she'll sleep next year'

[Crispmonster1]

You're post has helped me immensely! Bedtimes I can do...bath time though .......

[DustyMaiden]

My DGD was the same she has been given something by Gosh, sadly can't remember what it is called but know they tried several prescriptions before they got it right. You could ask your GP

[Killdora]

Oh thank god!

I'm so glad I'm not the only one!

I'm told I'm very chilled on the outside but if anyone/dd could hear what's going on with in my head at night they'd run

I used to internally have a go at myself for getting annoyed but that just seemed to up the rage, internal swearing seems to help release it a little.

I thought I might get my arse handed to me, I feel so much better.

[ddssdd]

OP, have you seen michael McIntyre's bedtime sketch? It's worth watching. I will try & link

[Killdora]

Ooo I think one of the health visitors did mention safe spaces but in the haze I forgot to look it up.

Thank you I will check those out.

[ASheepInWolfsClothing]

You're not alone ! For work read home and this about covers it 😉

[elevenclips]

My autistic dc doesn't want to sleep but will sleep happily in bed with me or dh. We couldn't all fit in the bed so I put another bed same height by ours.

[mummylollypop]

I totally get where your coming from. I'm glad my children can't Mind read the amount of swearing I do in my head

[booellesmum]

Mine were very money orientated.
I gave them pocket money. When they wouldn't settle and constantly called me up they were told it's fine to call if you are unwell/ nose bleed/ nightmare etc but if I was called for something they could sort themselves ie/ water, blanket on/ off, light on/ off etc I would charge them for my wasted time. Obviously this only works if your child is money motivated.
I really sympathise - it did drive me crazy until I found my solution.

[Cynara]

Oh good grief. You're a better woman than me. I mutter "shut the fucking fuck up you fucking whinging fucking shite" under my breath (and occasionally out loud, I'm very sorry to say) on more or less a daily basis. I also stand in the pantry doorway with my back to the kitchen, shoving chocolate into my mouth and turning round now and again to say" eat your carrots and broccoli please" in an authoritative voice, and all that with DS having been a brilliant, 9 hours a night sleeper since 9 months. Don't give yourself a hard time. It's a very, very tough time for you and you're doing your best and surviving. Take one day at a time and don't be hard on yourself.

[Killdora]

ASheepInWolfsClothing ha ha well I do worry about it slipping out one day!

Oooo she nearly went then. Must be the power of mn.