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AIBU?

To be scared I've fucked up at work?

103 replies

LilouLilou · 02/02/2017 21:16

Moving to a new team in a large law firm (I'm a new grad). Had a call with a few members of the team a couple of days ago and the partner said I should pop round to his office to get some starter work from him; I did but he wasn't there. I really should have sent an email out (and stupidly told someone I did but was feeling a bit nervous so I didn't - stupid! I don't know what came over me).

Anyway someone followed up with me today about it and asked if I had met him yet/sent the email. I said again that I'd sent an email (Urgh don't know why)...

Anyway I finally sent one today saying it was great to meet him a few days ago and to let me know when was a good time to catch up. I got a fairly cold response back saying that because he didn't see me on Monday, he had given it to someone else but that he would keep an eye out for other things. I replied instantly saying that would be great.

He makes or breaks people's careers and I'm so scared of meeting him now - plus I'm sure the rest of the team will be aware of what has happened. I feel like I look like I'm not fussed about the work now - which isn't true and I'm kicking myself!!

OP posts:

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sooperdooper · 02/02/2017 21:19

Erm well you've made yourself look pretty daft saying you'd sent an email when you hadn't - what's so scary about sending an email? How old are you op you sound very young

Trifleorbust · 02/02/2017 21:19

That probably did look a bit weird, yes. All you can do is make sure it doesn't happen again. Whatever you do, don't tell anyone about pretending you sent an email when you didn't! You will need to toughen up a bit in your chosen profession, I would imagine.

Anything else bothering you or are you usually less confident than you would like to be?

Flisstizzy · 02/02/2017 21:20

Hmmm, why didn't you go back half an hour later and look for him again, why didn't you send an email?
I think you need to be extra keen to prove you are enthusiastic now....

Chottie · 02/02/2017 21:20

Please don't worry, just learn from this and move on. When you meet him again just be pleasant and polite.

greenmidgetgems · 02/02/2017 21:20

I think you have to go and see him in person and explain what has happened and why you acted the way you did.

An old boss of mine used to say everyone makes mistakes, it's how you deal with the mistake that matters. I always try and remember that.

TheSnowFairy · 02/02/2017 21:21

Why on earth didn't you send the email after being asked once?

You need to chase him for work and make sure you do it politely but visibly.

LilouLilou · 02/02/2017 21:21

I don't know - I've had a strange week, I'm not normally like this. I've just come off anti-anxiety medication and it's knocked me for six. What can I do when I do eventually meet him?

OP posts:

Flisstizzy · 02/02/2017 21:21

Yes to the PP's suggestions, you need to toughen up in a cut throat corporate environment. Be confident!

GoesDownLikeACupOfColdSick · 02/02/2017 21:23

If there is one thing that you should remember as a trainee, OP, it's to hold up your hands if you fuck up. You will never get away with covering things up, you will just earn distrust!

I would beard the lion in his den tomorrow (ask his secretary if he's around/busy) . Just pop your head around the door, smile and say hi and that you're free for any work, any time.

Remember - you are one thing on his to do list, so it's not as big a deal to him. But equally, you need to remember that he will be thinking about whether he would want you to interact with his clients, whether they would like you, whether you would impress them etc.

When you get your second chance, grab it with both hands and impress the shiny shite out of him!

Source: am currently supervising my 21st trainee and have had my share of difficult partners!

lapsedorienteerer · 02/02/2017 21:25

Hmm, popping head over 'parapet' here..........I have to assume you are a 'Mum'? Otherwise is this really a 'Mum's'(net) problem? I'm very happy to be shot down in flames but I thought Mumsnet was for .........mothers...not new graduates...? .........Happy to be put in my place if OP is indeed a new Grad and a Mum

StepCatsmother · 02/02/2017 21:25

I'm in a fairly senior position in a law firm and whilst I have no doubt this will all be forgotten very quickly if you work hard and make a good team member, one of the most important pieces of advice I can give you is always be honest. Your integrity in a professional carear is paramount. Never give people a reason to believe that you'd be anything other than honest.

Ellisandra · 02/02/2017 21:26

I'd go back to his office in person until you catch him.

Tell him you'd looked for him Monday, but as you hadn't caught him in person you weren't sure what to do next, and had worried too much about sending him emails about it when he surely had plenty to read anyway.

That you regret missing out on the work opportunity, and you wanted him to know you hope something else is available soon.

Possibly you'll get something there and then.
You'll give the impression that you had a little newbie uncertainty but are actually a confident person.

I don't work in law, but corporate world and I'd appreciate my new grads doing this.

MsJudgemental · 02/02/2017 21:27

Why did you give up your meds when you've just started a new job???

GoesDownLikeACupOfColdSick · 02/02/2017 21:28

So only mums can post here now? Someone had better tell all the male posters and the posters who don't want kids or are struggling to have kids to get off the site, quickly...!

Ellisandra · 02/02/2017 21:28

lapse don't be so unfriendly!

If we are mums, then we have kids.
And some of us have young adults.
Which means we (collectively) have the experience of our age and care about younger people.

Seems like a great place to come and ask!

ramanoop · 02/02/2017 21:30

Yes, you screwed up. Not by failing to meet the partner - that's a missed opportunity. But by being dishonest about it. You've been there a week and you've already failed to act with integrity. And they know about it - that's why they asked you if you emailed him - not because they were curious, but to give you a chance to explain yourself.

ImperialBlether · 02/02/2017 21:31

I would say it was saved to draft by mistake, OP.

PigletWasPoohsFriend · 02/02/2017 21:31

Hmm, popping head over 'parapet' here..........I have to assume you are a 'Mum'? Otherwise is this really a 'Mum's'(net) problem? I'm very happy to be shot down in flames but I thought Mumsnet was for .........mothers...not new graduates...? .........Happy to be put in my place if OP is indeed a new Grad and a Mum

All sorts of people post, mums, not mums and even shock horror men.

HTH

NarkyMcDinkyChops · 02/02/2017 21:34

I'm very happy to be shot down in flames but I thought Mumsnet was for .........mothers...not new graduates...? .........Happy to be put in my place if OP is indeed a new Grad and a Mum

Consider yourself shot then, because your post was more than a little dickish. There is no requirement to have produced humans in order to post here.

TheBogQueen · 02/02/2017 21:34

Op
Don't worry - it's just a tiny blip in what I'm sure will be a long and successful career. We all make mistakes and this will be forgotten already.

But as previous poster pointed out - honesty is the best policy always. People forgive human error none of us is perfect particularly when we are starting out.

Be honest about mistakes and be brave 🙂

TheBogQueen · 02/02/2017 21:35

And really there's no reason to be so harsh.
I did some ridiculous things when I started work and people were very kind.

MaudGonneMad · 02/02/2017 21:36

Imperial has it, perfect excuse

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NoelHeadbands · 02/02/2017 21:36

Well you should be honest.

But if you can't be honest, make sure you lie convincingly. Don't dwell or over egg anything, but mention in passing that you had some brief technical issues and emails were saved in the Outbox that day. Then move swiftly on and make sure you're top drawer from now on.

wigglesrock · 02/02/2017 21:36

Lots of posters aren't "mums" it's not a club with a membership. There are posters who talk about lots of things that don't relate to children. Christ I don't think I've started a thread about my children on MN and I've three of them.

lapsedorienteerer · 02/02/2017 21:36

Ellisandra - I'm not being remotely unfriendly. I'm perhaps a little aged and confused. I have a DS(15) and would be a bit if I felt he had to post here (i.e Mumsnet) for advice. I'm very happy to provide advice but....'horses for courses'.....etc

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