To be disappointed in my DS' lack of enthusiasm for Christmas

[Chipscheesentomatosauce]

Went in to town today while DS(12) was out with ex and got some bits to make him up a Christmas Eve box - pyjamas, popcorn, chocolates, hot chocolate and Xmas DVD.

He comes home from ex's and I let him have 30 mins on his Xbox, then say "finish that game, no more X box tonight. It's bath time and then we can watch a Xmas film". Cue eye roll and "why??".

I then ran his bath and before he was about to in, gave him his Christmas Eve box. Totally underwhelmed. Just pulled it all out, said "thanks", and stuffed it all back in, got up and went for his bath. Not such much as a hug.

It's only him and I in the house and although we'll be with family tomorrow, there's just no buzz in our house about Xmas. I can see tomorrow morning just being boring, and I'm I won't be surprised if he mentions the one thing in his list I forgot to get (just a wee thing, but it won't be the first time that's what he picks up on)/ he wasn't arsed about going to the panto with me because he went with the school. He didn't care about helping pick a present for his dad.

Is anyone else's kid like this? I know I'm being silly really, and I think it's because I feel Christmas is boring for him because it's just him and I, but I feel like I try and do the usual little things other people do and it's just doesn't mean anything.

To be honest, he's never really been one for getting really excited about anything, unless it's something with his friends. But o feel like he's becoming quite selfish just now - complaining every time we have to do something that doesn't suit him, even just popping to the supermarket last week was "why couldn't you go while I was at ....?" I couldn't go then because I was picking up his Xmas presents!

I guess it's maybe just him, or the teenager coming through, and it could be much worse. I just needed a moan after the box

[Squirmy65ghyg]

He is 12.

[skyblu]

Sorry OP

I think it's probably just a case of teenage boy. My son was at his worst between 11.5-13.5. He's now 14.5 & a bit of maturity is setting in and he's turning into a lovely young man. But was certainly like this a couple of yrs ago.
Deep breath, keep guiding him on manners, maturity etc & hopefully time will sort...

Happy Christmas anyway, hope it doesn't spoil it for you...set the example & make him follow! X

[Blacksox]

Maybe he is hormonal?

He might be better tomorrow.

[therootoftheroot]

he's 12 not 6

christmas eve boxes etc are for little kids not almost teenagers
it sucks i know but he's not little anymore

i have a 16 year old and a 13 year old and they have spent most of the day on gadgets wearing headphones!
i know tomorrow they will play games rtc though

[therootoftheroot]

and also-why did you run a bath for him? he's 12!!!

[bumsexatthebingo]

I wouldn't be enforcing a Christmas film if he didn't want to watch it. He might be more enthusiastic if you ask him what he'd like to do?

[Chipscheesentomatosauce]

I don't see your point about the bath - i ran it because I was ironing outside the bathroom, he was in the middle of a game, and it meant it would be run for him finishing the game, no fading about after it finished. It literally took me seconds.

If I asked him what he wants to do, it'll be play Xbox, or watch you tube. But maybe you're right. What's the point.

[OutDamnedWind]

It's a tricky age, too old for all the magic of Santa, but too young to enjoy the more adult parts of Christmas.

Perhaps it's time to start some new Christmas traditions, rather than Christmas boxes and baths?

[Chipscheesentomatosauce]

Thanks skyblu and black sox. Don't think im going to enjoy these years at all!

[AntiQuitty]

I also have a 12 year old and its pretty much the same! Was going to do lovely Christmas Eve but I realised the futility a few days ago! He's playing online then will probably go watch anime. I have a 5 year old so it's not the same but I imagine I'd be pretty miserable with him being arsey or uninterested in everything.

[HeyRoly]

Christmas just isn't the same once you're over the age of 10, I think. I still loved my preteen and teenage Christmases but they weren't as magical as when you're a little kid.

[Chipscheesentomatosauce]

OutDamnedWind. Any suggestions? Though i think I'll keep enforcing the baths

[McButtonwillow]

It is a tricky age op- I have a 12 year old ds too and he has moments of enthusiasm with lots of moments of apathy

I would probably be a bit hurt too, it is hard not to take it personally, especially if it's just the two of you, I think he could make a bit of an effort and I would probably point that out to him.

[OutDamnedWind]

I don't know, cinema, go out for hot chocolate, have a takeaway and a film (not necessarily Christmas)? Something that works for you...

[bumsexatthebingo]

If it's quality time you want you need to join him in something he likes if you don't want it to be grudging. Why not crack open some goodies after his bath and get him to show you some stuff he likes on YouTube?

[OutDamnedWind]

And I think people are perhaps surprised at baths rather than showers!

[WhoKn0wsWhereTheMistletoes]

My two (10 and 12) have only ever agreed to watch two Christmas films, would be mightily offended if I suggested a bath before 7pm any night let alone Christmas Eve and are not all that bothered about hot chocolate. A Christmas Eve box really wouldn't work here. DS has said "I'm bored" approximately 5 times in the last hour. They are excited about Santa and tomorrow though.

[OutDamnedWind]

Also, there comes a time to let him be and have his own time.

[sandragreen]

yes this is pretty par for the course at that age really

I am sure you will still get the odd cuddle on the sofa though.....

[ollieplimsoles]

You sound lovely op but I agree with others, he's 12!

I would have let him play xbox all evening, given him a hot chocolate and some goodies and gone for a bath myself!

[ChocoChou]

So glad my 12 yr old isn't the only one!was considering having another baby just for the Xmas fun
Honestly though, mine has been glued to the PS4 all day.
I've been hard on myself thinking really I should've taken him out to the local winter wonderland thing but then I think is he going to not want to be seen there with his mum?! Lol. Also the idea of it being crazy busy etc fills me with low level anxiety
I think in these teenage years maybe cinema followed by a (cheeky, of course) Nando's or something might be the best shout for the future.
Have a lovely Christmas OP and take comfort in the fact it's not just your 12yo!

[Blobby10]

OP hes 12 and hes a boy!! They have lost the magic of Christmas at that age and haven't found a new way to enjoy it. My two boys are 20 and 18 and for the first time in many years have generated some excitement about Christmas - OK it might be more to do with the numerous trips to the pub with their father but at least they are participating again!

As a parent I too have lost the magic and am struggling to find a new reason in my role as Christmas Organiser! The laissez faire method is working for now - it will get done if it gets done and if it doesnt then what the hell I will ahve another glass of wine!

Good luck and Happy Christmas!! Just dont ever stop giving your son hugs, Christmas or otherwise x

[QueenLizIII]

Christmas is profusely boring unless you are a very young child. It really is.

[AlwaysDancing1234]

As someone said upthread a tricky age, too old for all the magic of Santa, but too young to enjoy the more adult parts of Christmas

The box sounded a lovely idea to me but I guess a 12 year old would rather have another half hour on x-box.

He might also be a bit sad about not having both mum and dad on Xmas morning (sorry don't want to upset you)