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AIBU?

To not understand how they can simply assume people are oblivious to what's going on

100 replies

Rocky246 · 17/12/2016 12:48

I'll jump straight in. I'be believed for a while that a friend of mine is committing benefit fraud. She and her partner have three children. They bought a home together, lived in it for a while and then announced they were splitting up for good this time (they were strangely always on and off). He moved out of the house and she remained for a while until she secured a private rented property. This was two years ago. Her partner moved a mere mile away and is living with his grandad and they both continue to live like a couple. There are tons of reasons why it doesn't seem right but I'd be here all day. Basically people in her family and mutual friends of ours have noticed how "friendly" her and her ex still are (I know that's allowed but in this case it's way ott) and they all believe that they are living the way they for convieniencr but also so that they can fiddle benefits. He works full time self employed and she is a sahm with the children.

I've been drifting apart from her for a while as I believe she is lying to me and spinning me a load of bull and quite frankly I can't be doing with it. I haven't spoken to her in a couple of weeks but her cousin has told me something that just seems odd. Apparently they are letting their house get repossessed. The mortgage hasn't been paid for months since their tenant left but her partner earns a decent wage, isn't paying any rent at his grandad's house so would easily afford the mortgage. Well I've figured it out (it's not hard) they simply don't want to pay the mortgage anymore. She gets most of rent payed by the council and he doesn't pay anything at all to his granddad. So between them they won't have a full rent/mortgage I pay and will therefore have plenty of spare cash.

I just think it's all bollocks but the funny thing is they assume that everyone around them has just fallen for it and believe what they say. They both apparently don't want to have any shared finances and want to be independent. But the amazing thing with that is they still live in each other's pockets, go on short breaks together, out for meals, etc etc. They are a couple and just won't admit so they can gain financially. Aibu to not contact her anymore? I detest liars but for her to lie to her family is just disgusting. She wants sympathy and is playing her part of the distressed single parent well but I have a nose for bullshit and as it appears so do most of her family.

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Rocky246 · 17/12/2016 12:51

So sorry for all of the typos.

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cherrycrumblecustard · 17/12/2016 12:53

It's a bit far fetched that someone would let a house be repossessed?

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ShowMePotatoSalad · 17/12/2016 12:53

You don't know any of this for sure though do you? Sounds like a load of titte-tattle to me. I wouldn't make judgements of people based on hearsay.

If you don't like her, don't be friends with her. Simple.

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BogwashBarry · 17/12/2016 12:54

I'd keep well out of it if a I were you.

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Oliversmumsarmy · 17/12/2016 12:58

If what you describe is benefits fraud then no one on benefits would be allowed to have friends.

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KingJoffreysRestingCuntface · 17/12/2016 12:59

Sounds like bullshit.

Who'd let a house get repossessed unless they had no choice. You'd never get credit again. And I doubt anyone in thus country would choose the insecurity of renting over owning a house.

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LeadPipe · 17/12/2016 13:00

What is the benefit in having your home repossessed? Don't you lose all your equity? How is that fraud? I don't understand this at all.

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Rocky246 · 17/12/2016 13:00

But I do know this though. The only "gossip" I've heard was from her cousin who knows her better than me but the rest has come from the horse's mouth. How is it far fetched but the way? They don't want a mortgage hanging around their necks and by letting it get into arrears they are I a position were it is likely to be repossessed.

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pipsqueak25 · 17/12/2016 13:01

i'd drop the 'friendship', drop out of her life and her business.

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ilovesooty · 17/12/2016 13:01

I think she'd be well rid of you quite frankly.

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Warl · 17/12/2016 13:02

I do understand where you are coming from OP.

My oldest friend & her DP have very similar situation, they have a DD aged 4, they bought a house together, split up, she now lives in a private rent & £450 a month towards it. He rents the house he bought out to his sister for £700 a month & moved back home with his parents.

2 months later they're back together, both living in the rented house when he's at home, he works away for 3 weeks at a time & back for 1 but apart as far as council etc are concerned with all his mail going to his parents.

On top of his substantial wage, the rent he gets for his house, the money she gets paid towards the rental she also gets ££££'s of other benefits including working tax credits as she work 16 hours on paper but double that again what she gets cash in hand.

It really winds me up sometimes tbh but you will always get those that play system & it appears the more brazen you are the less likely you are to actually get caught but I just let them get on with it, I couldn't live my life worrying for a knock on the door or summons through the letter box.

So as others have said just leave them to it & keep out of it, I do

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LeadPipe · 17/12/2016 13:02

I agree sooty.

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Rocky246 · 17/12/2016 13:02

Think want you will but I assure you it's not bullshit. My friend has been trying to get a house with the council (which she makes out its something to aspire to) but they won't allow her on the list whilst she still owns a property. If she gets rid of it then she'd be eligible.

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LeadPipe · 17/12/2016 13:04

But why not just sell?

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Rocky246 · 17/12/2016 13:05

Lead pipe that isn't fraud. What's fraud is that they are still in a long term relationship yet she claims benefits as a single person.

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whirlygirly · 17/12/2016 13:06

You sound way too invested in her situation.

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Rocky246 · 17/12/2016 13:07

I asked her this question and she said that they wouldn't sell it for what they need. She seems to think that she can just give the keys back and then make a life long payment plan with the mortgage provider add that they'll just accept it. If they do manage to get it repossess she'll no longer own a property and I guarantee she will have a house with the council within six months and have her "ex" move back in with her.

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Lewwat · 17/12/2016 13:07

Repossession makes no sense tho! Why not just sell it. They are throwing away any equity by doing it this way!!
You sound very bitter. If you think it's fraud, report her! Stop bitching about your "friend" on the Internet

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SaucyJack · 17/12/2016 13:09

"What's fraud is that they are still in a long term relationship yet she claims benefits as a single person."

It doesn't sound as tho they are committing benefit fraud from what you've stated here, if they live separately and have separate finances.

The DWP are only really interested in the money aspect of it. They're not particularly concerned with whether you shag your ex every now and then for old times sake.

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Rocky246 · 17/12/2016 13:09

I'm not invested I simply became sick of hearing all of her tales of woe when I knew deep down it was a load of crap. Like I said we have mutual friends and it's not fair on them (the ones who don't realise it's all a scam) that they have to put up with all of her poor me stories.

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anyoldname76 · 17/12/2016 13:10

just report her then, let them decide whether she is claiming benefits fraudulently or not.

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diamondofdoom · 17/12/2016 13:11

But she's living away from her DP so it doesn't matter if she's in a relationship or not. The benefits would only change if they were living together, which they're not. Otherwise everyone on benefits who has a partner but doesn't live with them would be committing fraud Hmm

Just keep your nose out tbh Wink

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Feelinglikeafailure · 17/12/2016 13:12

Pull your judgy pants down and walk away from this "friendship"

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KingJoffreysRestingCuntface · 17/12/2016 13:12

They don't have to put up with her woe is me stories.

Buy them all ear plugs for Christmas.

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LeadPipe · 17/12/2016 13:15

Here, her is Amazon U.K.'s figures for 2014.

This is a "benefits scam" - we are subsidising the profit of these multi-nationals to the tunes of billions. Per capita this hurts us all far far more than who your friend is shagging.

Have some moral outrage about this, at least it's a real scam and a tragedy.

Total UK sales in 2014 - £5.1bn
Disclosed UK revenue - £639m
UK profits - £34.4m
UK corporation tax - £11.9m

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