So up until a few days ago we were having a small low key Christmas with my partner, Granddad, dad & a friend from work - The Christmas plan was to drink lots of wine, Eat a good meal, Snack on good cheese and basically relax. Unfortunately (understatement of the year) my Granddad died a few days ago so in all honesty we're not feeling very festive at the moment. But we still planned to have the Christmas we planned and honor the promises we made to Granddad (making a home made rice pudding using his mums recipe etc)
This is now not the case...
My partners family have invited themselves for Christmas after their plans fell through (they were meant to be going to my partners sisters for Christmas but she split up with her partner a few days ago. I have absolutely no problem with them joining us, but they are absolutely oblivious to pretty much everything. For example we told them several times that we had my dad & a friend coming over for Christmas - they assumed that when they announced they were coming that they would be here on their own - why? I have no idea...
So now we are beginning to hit problems... partners Mum has had a tantrum because I said we won't be playing Facebook games on Christmas day - in her words: "sorry but no one gets to tell me what to do". She then states that she will set up her laptop in the small bedroom and play up there... When I explained that the room was already spoken for by someone who told us their plans 4 months ago she got shitty wanting to know where she would be sleeping... I explained she would be on the (pretty decent and comfortable) sofa bed downstairs and she's not happy.
I'm obviously pretty emotional and upset about my Granddads passing right now and am honestly finding it quite hard to cope with everything including Christmas... I've tried to use Christmas as a distraction so since they confirmed the days they are coming I've altered my food orders with the butchers & vegetable van and have also bought more plates (I only have 6 matching and I like my tableware to match especially at Christmas) I've had to buy more Crackers, a meat alternative as his sister is an almost vegetarian, and generally just adjust my plans for a child being in the house too (along with the 7 dogs - one of which they are bringing), We have also changed our rather rude games (cards against humanity & exploding kittens for 2) to child friendly ones.
But they have said they won't play board games, they don't want starters, etc... If you are invited to someones home for Christmas surely you don't dictate what is or isn't happening? Is it unreasonable to have the Christmas I planned? I'm all for adapting to other people but I'm getting really upset at having to change my plans when they have invited themselves and won't compromise on things we had already planned... and getting shitty about little things like not having a laptop on the dining table when we are all conversing and trying to enjoy each others company....
Think this has just turned into a bit of a rant to be honest.... but usually I would talk to my granddad about this kind of thing and he's not around anymore and I know my partner is as frustrated as I am... I know its stupid but I don't want to uninvite them (partner has offered). They are all living under the same roof at the moment without a dining table or much space... I'd like them to share a lovely Christmas with us - especially our nephew who I would LOVE to spend Christmas with.
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AIBU?
AIBU to have Christmas my way?
87 replies
CherryCokeFairy · 13/12/2016 23:19
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