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to think LTB just got a whole lot harder (domestic abuse related)

(95 Posts)
HelenaDove Thu 11-Aug-16 19:34:45

Just saw this article. Women have been living in refuges for over a year due to lack of housing.

Women are returning to their abusers rather than face homelessness

SaucyJack Thu 11-Aug-16 19:42:45

It hasn't just got harder. It's been like this for years.

Affordable housing is in dire shortage in many parts of the country. Dunno why it's taken the Telegraph so long to notice vulnerable people are having already miserable life situations made even worse.

ElsaAintAsColdAsMe Thu 11-Aug-16 19:44:53

I lived in a 2 bed flat in a refuge with 4 dc and I was pregnant.

The council told me that they weren't going to consider me homeless because technically I had a home.

A home full of things that I had to leave within minutes and run away.

They told me to return to my house and wait for my ex to harm my son and then I could get him arrested.

It's only thanks to women's aid pleading on my behalf that I eventually got on the homeless list.

We stayed in the refuge for almost a year.

While there I witnessed so many people who went back to the people they were escaping from.

Now I am in our new home. Building up our belongings again. But I am unable to get credit, vote and even register with some Internet providers as I can't go on the electoral register.

I can't claim maintenance as they can't guarantee my address will be safe.

I can't continue with the small business I had before as I can't register it.

There are so many unspoken difficulties and there is so little support out there really.

It's a nightmare.

Lagirafe Thu 11-Aug-16 19:47:25

Aren't the government wanting to include supported housing like refuges in the housing benefit cap too? That will make even going into a refuge unaffordable as its quite expensive (£200+/week here).

I was so lucky to only be in a refuge for a few months before being housed in a housing association property. I guess it's a question of the availability of social housing which isn't too bad here (Midlands) and when you're in a refuge you are classed as "homeless" and therefore the highest priority for housing.

NeedACleverNN Thu 11-Aug-16 19:50:33

They told me to return to my house and wait for my ex to harm my son and then I could get him arrested

That is disgusting. That could actually get someone killed. Honestly some council members have their head up in the clouds

Lagirafe Thu 11-Aug-16 19:51:16

Elsa I have changed my identity but I recently got broadband with Sky and they don't seem to have done any checks on me. Worth a try xx

ElsaAintAsColdAsMe Thu 11-Aug-16 19:51:44

Yes they are. It was over 1000 per month in the refuge I was in. I couldn't have afforded that with the benefit cap.

HelenaDove Thu 11-Aug-16 19:52:21

Christ Elsa what were they thinking of. sad angry

Lagirafe Thu 11-Aug-16 19:53:29

It actually makes me really emotional that I managed to escape in time. If I was thinking of running away now I almost certainly would not have gone through with it simply due to finances (me + 4 DC).

ElsaAintAsColdAsMe Thu 11-Aug-16 19:54:09

Thank you la I did manage to get online with sky after trying several others.

I didn't think that my ex would still have this control after I left. It's very disheartening.

Lagirafe Thu 11-Aug-16 19:55:31

I must have been lucky to try Sky first then! nothing to do with the £50 giftcard

NeedACleverNN Thu 11-Aug-16 19:56:16

Something needs to happen to make it easier for women to leave abusive partners and function again in the world.

Not being able to register, vote, or have credit is not acceptable

HelenaDove Thu 11-Aug-16 19:58:40

Agree NN It is shameful in 2016

Noonesfool Thu 11-Aug-16 19:58:52

That's a MN campaign, right there Need...

HelenaDove Thu 11-Aug-16 19:58:59

Agree NN It is shameful in 2016

NeedACleverNN Thu 11-Aug-16 19:59:53


This is a website predominantly aimed at women. They would be a good voice to the public about seeking help and getting back into the world

Noonesfool Thu 11-Aug-16 19:59:53

<waves at lagirafe>

ElsaAintAsColdAsMe Thu 11-Aug-16 20:00:15

It really does need to change Need women's aid do a really fantastic job with very limited resources and not a lot of support from other agencies, at the very least they should have more funding and more powers with regards to housing.

Lagirafe Thu 11-Aug-16 20:02:06

My refuge is having the close later this year as they no longer have enough funding.
Support for domestic violence is awful....

Just5minswithDacre Thu 11-Aug-16 20:03:41

Elsa have you considered sidestepping it all with a change of name deed? Any names take your fancy? smile It could be incredibly symbolic and healing.

You deserve to be able to get stuck into a new life now without waiting for the (much needed) legislation flowers

NeedACleverNN Thu 11-Aug-16 20:07:40

Please correct or add anything to it

Just5minswithDacre Thu 11-Aug-16 20:07:59

Closing giraffe? Awful. And ridiculous. And costlier long term. Not to mention SO damaging to women and children sad

As is the national picture described in that article angry

What a mess this country is crumbling into.

BuonoEstente Thu 11-Aug-16 20:08:38

I am disgusted by this thread. I have fortunately not had to experience this but am horrified that women who have escaped abuse are treated like this (as if you have a choice to leave) xxx Unacceptable, utterly and completely.

ghostyslovesheep Thu 11-Aug-16 20:10:53

my fiend almost returned because the refuge charged her £30 a night and he had complete control on the bank account - we clubbed together and paid it until the court kicked him out

Lagirafe Thu 11-Aug-16 20:13:07

Yes closing down permanently as they are a small charity (but affiliated to women's aid). Apparently women will have to go to one of two in the nearest city though there aren't always spaces sad

Some of the staff remain employed to do "floating support" which I still benefit from.

When I entered the refuge it was fully staffed 8-6 Mon-Fri and by the time I left someone called in once a day to check the answerphone/postbox sadsad

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