with DD's clothes

(103 Posts)
Pritti7 Mon 13-Jun-16 17:15:12

DH and I have very big families, we were showered with loads of clothes when DD was born and whenever relatives come to visit they bring new outfits for DD. Those who can't visit, send parcels smile bless em'. I feel horrible saying this but I didn't like most of the stuff gifted but i didn't want to hurt anyone's feelings (most of these relatives have been nice to me and they love and pamper DD a lot as there are very few girls in both our families. They feel really delighted to see DD's pics on fb in one of the outfits they gifted) so I use the clothes anyway, unless of course it is absolutely appalling. I always thought that when I start dressing DD she will look like my little princess smile

Since past few months I have started looking for dresses for DD and feel really disappointed with most of the stuff available. Either the print/colour is not pretty or the fabric is too stiff or its polyester or just bad quality. And what I do like is upward of £75. I have bought stuff from tk maxx, next, monsoon, m&s and mothercare but, with the exception of a couple, after putting them on DD didn't quite like them and returned them.

DH says I am being a perfectionist, bordering unreasonable and stressing myself unnecessarily.

Am I being unreasonable?
or
am I not looking in the right places?
and
Do you feel the same as me or am I the only one?

Sirzy Mon 13-Jun-16 17:18:27

I would say your dh is probably spot on.

I assume your dd is still pretty young so personally I would focus on practicality and comfort and not worry too much.

GreaseIsNotTheWord Mon 13-Jun-16 17:19:55

YABU and I agree with your dh.

Why people feel the need to dress their children up like dolls to parade around, I have never understood.

Put her in a babygro and spend this time and effort on something worthwhile.

branofthemist Mon 13-Jun-16 17:21:26

I agree with your dh.

readytorage Mon 13-Jun-16 17:23:18

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Gizlotsmum Mon 13-Jun-16 17:24:23

My children live in tescos/adds/sainsbury's clothes.. Occasionally M&S. It normally gets out grown or they have a few favourites which are worn to death

Gizlotsmum Mon 13-Jun-16 17:24:55

Asda not adds

Gardencentregroupie Mon 13-Jun-16 17:25:44

Dresses are silly on little girls except maybe for an occasion. They get tangled up under the knees of crawlers and get in the way of climbing when they're bigger, plus don't offer any protection to the skin when they invariably fall over. Babygros for pre crawlers and leggings and tshirts for bigger girls are far more practical. You can get very pretty leggings/trousers and tops.

I do wonder how you'll feel when your DD gets older and wants to pick her own clothes, if she's more into joggers and comfy tops than fashion and looking pretty?

GreaseIsNotTheWord Mon 13-Jun-16 17:25:58

OK, i'm feeling harsh.

Obsessing about trivialities is also a sign of PND. So if this is genuinely making you upset, anxious, etc, go and see your GP too.

Chinks123 Mon 13-Jun-16 17:26:20

Let her wear the outfits when you go to visit the family member who gifted it to her, that's what I do with my grandma and she loves to see her in the clothes she bought (luckily they're mostly lovely clothes!) she did once buy her something absolutely hideous and I normally love vintage 'hideous' clothes DD has a few natch knitted garments So i had to get rid of it.

You don't sound unreasonable but you sound stressed out, don't be! If you don't like the clothes don't put her in them or do what I suggested re visiting family.

Maybe have a look at small online handmade shops (there's loads on Instagram!) thats where I get dds from, (and tu sainsburys grin) I don't worry about her clothes I just tend to see things I like and buy them. H n m have some nice things but it depends what your budget is as I probably shop fairly cheaply as I don't have a big budget for clothes.

SaucyJack Mon 13-Jun-16 17:28:03

Are you bored?

That was a genuine question, meant kindly.

If shopping for baby clothes is helping fill a gap in your life, then crack on. I've been there meself.

If you're not happy with it tho, then stop.

Chinks123 Mon 13-Jun-16 17:28:14

Plus DD doesn't have many dresses as she is a huge tomboy and I'd just get miffed about them getting ruined, she lives in leggings and when she was a baby mostly just baby gros.

OohMavis Mon 13-Jun-16 17:29:28

How old is your DD?

Nobody is going to have the same taste. You learn to accept this very early on, gratefully accept clothes from family, take pictures and put them away smile

I was particular about their clothes when they were very young, but to be honest I don't have the sort of family that buy all that much for them.

I found I relaxed a lot as they've gotten older. DS is now 6 and can wear pretty much whatever he picks out for himself. DD is 2 and I still get a say, so no animal prints and no tacky disney princess t-shirts (which are already starting to creep in!)

blueskyinmarch Mon 13-Jun-16 17:30:12

Children need to be comfortable and able to move freely. IMO dresses are hopeless for this.They are nice for special occasions but soft leggings and t shirts etc seems better for normal wear. How old is your DD?

thebigmummabear Mon 13-Jun-16 17:31:35

I know where u are coming from, although on here most people will tell u that u are being unreasonable! I only buy dresses for my daughters and i like the spanish style or the old fashioned smock type dresses. I also get there dresses bespoke made etc although i have bought clothes from next, monsoon etc too. I love my children to be dressed perfectly as they are a reflection of me and i want them to have everything. Me and dh didn't have much growing up and i don't want my children to ever feel the same. Most outfits cost upward of £50 upto maybe £150. They do have leggings and things for playwear. I know dh family think its ridiculous but i don't care at all. i don't ask them to pay, my dh works extremely hard so that they can have the best of everything. I am happy to wear primark, asda (and mostly do) so that they can have the best of things. i never want them to feel horrible or ashamed of what they wear and i know deep down its excessive but i don't care. My dh is happy as long as the bills are paid, food on the table and they have enough of everything else he doesn't care how much i spend on them, better than wasting it on myself!

thebigmummabear Mon 13-Jun-16 17:34:13

sorry for the typos and grammar! in a rush smile

sleepwhenidie Mon 13-Jun-16 17:41:14

OP - you sound precious. There are plenty of lovely clothes available somewhere in between very cheap and nasty and £75+. Your DH is right.

Sorry mummabear - if you have the cash to throw at expensive clothes for DC and that floats your boat then great, but bespoke, £150 stuff when you buy primark and asda (and your DC's if little surely can't tell and don't give a shit) is madness imo - how can a DC be a reflection of you when there's such an imbalance in how you treat yourself vs DC? Something screwed up somewhere with your reasoning and in the kindest possible way, I don't think you are doing the best for your DC's in terms of how they will grow up seeing this as an example?

GreaseIsNotTheWord Mon 13-Jun-16 17:41:30

I love my children to be dressed perfectly as they are a reflection of me

Your children are definitely a reflection of you. But that's so much more than just the clothes they wear.

You can usually find my two somewhere with a football, in joggers and a t shirt that are invariably covered in grass and mud and sweat. I think that's a much better reflection of me than if I had two prim, clean, dressed up little boys tbh.

sleepwhenidie Mon 13-Jun-16 17:44:09

I think kids only reflect us when they are old enough to behave ways that reflects the values you teach by example.

feathermucker Mon 13-Jun-16 17:50:33

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thebigmummabear Mon 13-Jun-16 17:54:37

My children are very polite, and people comment on their manners and how they are generally well behaved and kind to others. If my daughter decided she didn't want to wear dresses and wanted to wear joggers and t shirts then thats fine! I could and sometimes do, buy myself stuff from other places but I would rather spend the money I have on them! I can't stand people who dress their kids in cheap clothes when they themselves have the best of everything and false nails, false lashes etc and their kids are running round in whatever will do. And sleep how is buying my children lovely clothes not doing the best for them?? If i take your reasoning it shouldn't matter what my children wear? so wearing expensive stuff would make no difference to wearing cheap stuff? It would be different if i was depriving my children of days out/holidays to buy them clothes but I'm not!

thebigmummabear Mon 13-Jun-16 17:57:47

Of course the way my children behave, manners etc is a bigger reflection of me then what they wear!I didn't say it wasn't! But they way they are dressed is also! It shows that someone cares enough about them to make sure that they are dressed nicely and have the best things that I can afford. Nothing wrong with that smile

DonkeyOaty Mon 13-Jun-16 17:58:27

Oh man. Perceiving your daughter as a reflection of you is pretty much a recipe for disaster, wanting them presented perfectly - what about a mobile baby needing to practise gross motor skills, a toddler wanting to explore, a preschooler challenging themself physically? Not allowed to in case they get dirty, can't do it anyway because all the ruffles impede?

NeedsAsockamnesty Mon 13-Jun-16 18:00:06

thebig your children will end up having that attitude towards themselves and others and it will have been manufactured by your behaviour

TheCrumpettyTree Mon 13-Jun-16 18:03:33

Children aren't dolls to dress up. hmm

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