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To think the 'Disrespect NoBody' ad campaign is horribly sexist?

(1005 Posts)
p4rmaviolet Sun 28-Feb-16 21:22:54

Not sure if this has already been discussed but has anybody else seen the 'Disrespect NoBody' TV adverts that are supposedly raising awareness for healthy relationships and domestic violence?

Every single scenario in the advert is targeted at men abusing women whether it be physically or emotionally. Y'know because men are never victims?

angry

OhShutUpThomas Sun 28-Feb-16 21:24:58

Well, to be fair, it's overwhelmingly women who are victims of male violence.

ZiggyFartdust Sun 28-Feb-16 21:25:28

I loathe "what about the menz" whingers. Are 2 men every week killed by their partners or ex partners? NO.

ZiggyFartdust Sun 28-Feb-16 21:25:29

I loathe "what about the menz" whingers. Are 2 men every week killed by their partners or ex partners? NO.

PurpleDaisies Sun 28-Feb-16 21:26:14

81% of the victims of domestic violence are women.
www.refuge.org.uk/get-help-now/what-is-domestic-violence/domestic-violence-the-facts/

EatShitDerek Sun 28-Feb-16 21:26:50

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

p4rmaviolet Sun 28-Feb-16 21:28:10

Well in that case, should it not include scenarios for both? Women aren't the victims in 100% of cases.

StereophonicallyChallenged Sun 28-Feb-16 21:28:41

Why do you think it's sexist OP? It isn't a matter of opinion that almost all victims of dv are women. It's fact.

OhShutUpThomas Sun 28-Feb-16 21:28:58

Well then it should include 9 women and one man.

Happy now?

Helmetbymidnight Sun 28-Feb-16 21:28:58

I just saw it too!

I thought it was good. Not sexist at all - although yes the talking boxer shorts aren't entirely credible.

Maudofallhopefulness Sun 28-Feb-16 21:29:00

I think it carries an important message actually.

p4rmaviolet Sun 28-Feb-16 21:30:24

I have previously read that 40% are men, and considering men are less likely to report domestic abuse, would it not make sense to raise awareness on the subject?

Helmetbymidnight Sun 28-Feb-16 21:30:50

It wasn't all male to female either.

There were statements such as 'pressuring for sex is wrong' - what's wrong with saying that?

slugseatlettuce Sun 28-Feb-16 21:31:00

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

VoldysGoneMouldy Sun 28-Feb-16 21:31:43

There certainly needs to be more discussion surrounding male victims, however, the huge majority of DV victims are women having been abused by men.

RitaVinTease Sun 28-Feb-16 21:32:17

So its not ok to campaign against a thing, because other similar things also exist?

p4rmaviolet Sun 28-Feb-16 21:32:44

I'm not taking away from the fact that it carries an important message, it just seems disingenuous to only include women, as to suggest it only happens to women is simply not true.

ByThePrickingOfMyThumbs Sun 28-Feb-16 21:33:03

The adverts are not sexist at all. Domestic violence is primarily perpetrated by men against women. This is not sexist, it is a fact. 2 women a week are murdered by their partners or ex partners. Should we sweep this fact under the carpet because men are sometimes victims too?

VoldysGoneMouldy Sun 28-Feb-16 21:33:45

"Domestic abuse is rarely a one off incident. It is a complex pattern of power and control. While both men and women experience single incidents of inter-personal violence, women are considerably more likely to experience repeated and severe forms of violence.

Women constitute 89% of those who experience four or more incidents of domestic violence in their lifetime (Walby and Allen, 2004). These women are likely to have experienced all types of intimate violence (partner abuse, family abuse, sexual assault and stalking). Furthermore, nearly half the women who have experienced intimate violence of any kind, are likely to have been victims of more than one kind of intimate abuse."

From a DV website.

VoldysGoneMouldy Sun 28-Feb-16 21:35:19

I always feel that the "what about men" when talking about female rape and violence is the same as the bullshit "All Live Matter" in response to "Black Lives Matter".

It's not saying men don't suffer DV. It's saying that women are at much more risk.

RitaVinTease Sun 28-Feb-16 21:36:09

Where does it suggest or state that its only men against women?

Helmetbymidnight Sun 28-Feb-16 21:36:25

How do you mean 40% are men?

OhShutUpThomas Sun 28-Feb-16 21:39:19

I have previously read that 40% are men

Well you've read wrong.

Can't women even campaign against domestic violence without someone whining 'but what about the menzzzzz?'
How many men are killed by their partners each week? 2 women are.

It's not our job to do everything. If men have problems then they can campaign for help, like we have to.
Like we do.

You know what the problem is?? You haven't come on here wanting to talk about domestic violence against men. You've come on here wanting to talk about how unfair women are for not making it all about men, and how sexist it is and how women need to not hog domestic violence.

You want to talk about/campaign about men, go for it.

BUT DONT MAKE IT WOMEN'S FUCKING FAULT AGAIN

p4rmaviolet Sun 28-Feb-16 21:40:31

The campaign itself doesn't appear to be targeted, but in the tv advert, the scenarios all imply that the perpetrator is a male and the victim is a female by the use of voices/parts of the body etc.

PurpleDaisies Sun 28-Feb-16 21:41:32

The disrespect nobody website refers to domestic abuse on men. It links to specific helplines for make victims. It isn't sexist.

Helmetbymidnight Sun 28-Feb-16 21:41:42

40% of what are men?

OhShutUpThomas Sun 28-Feb-16 21:42:44

Domestic violence victims, apparently hmm

AdrenalineFudge Sun 28-Feb-16 21:44:00

<yawn>

Typical whataboutery argument used to undermine and discredit a valid cause.

p4rmaviolet Sun 28-Feb-16 21:44:42

Victims?

www.theguardian.com/society/2010/sep/05/men-victims-domestic-violence

This may not be accurate, but what i was trying to say was that not all victims are women as the advert implies.

It's not even a charity campaign, it's from the home office!

MrsTerryPratchett Sun 28-Feb-16 21:45:09

Murder by an intimate partner or ex is a leading cause of death for women. It is not for men.

EnthusiasmDisturbed Sun 28-Feb-16 21:45:53

I think the message is good

Men/boys are not conditioned in the same way to accept low level abuse, a woman showing jealous behaviour she is called a bunny boiler and man showing jealous and controlling behaviour is often seen as romantic (there is nothing romantic about someone waiting for you outside work when you have told them you do not wish to see them)

The message is any controlling behaviour is abuse

MishMooshAndMogwai Sun 28-Feb-16 21:45:54

I agree with you OP. We should do everything we possibly can to stop DV be it male victims or female. Yes women are much more at risk but by actively excluding male victims in adverts surely we are just making them more vunerable and less likely to speak out. Male victims are no less victims than female victims and they deserve support too.

OhShutUpThomas Sun 28-Feb-16 21:47:45

Wow, The Guardian in misogynist shite shocker.

Parity are an MRA group. Ya know, men's rights activists? They provided the data.

Nuff said. But a valuable lesson on why you should check everything you read.

p4rmaviolet Sun 28-Feb-16 21:49:29

Thomas, like I said it may not be accurate but this doesn't take away from the fact that men are victims too. Apologies.

Grilledaubergines Sun 28-Feb-16 21:49:29

Totally agree OP. It entirely isolates abuse of men, regardless of the much lower percentage.

As an aside, anyone who does that whole "menz" thing the minute abuse against men is mentioned has lost my audience and is, in my opinion, a bloody idiot who is so blighted by their single vision it's worrying.

Helmetbymidnight Sun 28-Feb-16 21:49:56

But there was nothing in that ad that said men are not victims. Eg the talking pants said that sexual pressure is not good. What is wrong with that?

MrsTerryPratchett Sun 28-Feb-16 21:54:44

Men can be victims too. However, women die in epidemic numbers, worldwide, and men don't. If there was a disease that affected both men and women. But it killed 90% of men and 2% of women, wouldn't we want to target men's health? Rather than spend our time saying, "but women catch that disease too".

OddBoots Sun 28-Feb-16 21:59:50

There is a very handy FAQ here

And from the same author here

Another important difference between women and men killed in the context of intimate partner violence is the history of the relationship. When men kill women partners or ex-partners, this usually follows months or years of them abusing her, when women kill male partners or ex-partners, it is usually after months or years of having been abused by the man they have killed. (Browne et al., 1998; Websdale, 1999; Dugan et al., 2003.)

So, there are four important differences when we compare women and men killed in the context of a current or previous intimate partnership (figures from the ONS 2011/12 to 2013/14 data):

-Far fewer men than women are killed in the context of intimate partner violence (57 men in 3 years compared to 249 women)
-Men are much more likely to be killed by the spouse of a partner or a love rival (14 out of 57 men, compared to none of the 249 women killed)
-Men are much more likely than women to have been killed by someone of the same sex (21 of 57 male homicide victims were killed by a man, compared to one out or 249 women)
-Men are more likely to have been killed by someone they were abusing, women are more likely to have been killed by someone they were being abused by.

VoldysGoneMouldy Sun 28-Feb-16 22:00:24

Know what is absolute bullshit?

I am a DV survivor. My ex nearly killed me. That, on top of the years of physical and emotions abuse. And every single fucking post the charity who supported me post on facebook, about fundraising or anything else, there is at least one MRA posting aggressive messages asking why they do not support men too.

Women die every week because of intimate partner violence. Every. week. As someone has pointed out, the conditioning of women to accept violence is part of mainstream society.

It is not sexist to want men to stop fucking killing us.

HairyLittleCarrot Sun 28-Feb-16 22:04:56

Advert accurately reflects reality and aims to reduce violence against women.
And you think this is "horribly sexist"

Right Ho.

PiperChapstick Sun 28-Feb-16 22:05:08

I loathe "what about the menz" whingers. Are 2 men every week killed by their partners or ex partners? NO.

This with nobs on!!

Why can't people understand that NO ONE IS SAYING MEN DONT GET ABUSED. But it's far more common that women get abused, they're reaching out to the majority market. Which is why an abused woman is depicted.

why can't people understand this? It's not that hard to grasp

Grilledaubergines Sun 28-Feb-16 22:08:29

So all focus should be on abused females?

Where the hell are abused men supposed to get support, or even know it exists?

No-one denies the victims of abuse are the vast majority.

Grilledaubergines Sun 28-Feb-16 22:09:17

Sorry, should read "... Vast majority female"

EnthusiasmDisturbed Sun 28-Feb-16 22:10:24

There are support groups for men

Online support

Refuges

So much like women they have to seek it, it does not come knocking at their door

PaulAnkaTheDog Sun 28-Feb-16 22:12:08

81% of the victims of domestic violence are women.

So 1/5 are men? Higher than I'd imagine and not to be dismissed.

PurpleDaisies Sun 28-Feb-16 22:12:37

As I said before, the disrespect nobody website links to organisations specifically targeted at men.

MrsTerryPratchett Sun 28-Feb-16 22:16:54

So 1/5 are men? Higher than I'd imagine and not to be dismissed. But not fatal to men in the vast majority of cases. Unless they are the perpetrator of it, ironically. This is fatal to women. In very high numbers.

neonrainbow Sun 28-Feb-16 22:18:08

I see where op is coming from. Women are more likely to be killed by a partner or ex partner. I doubt there are any stats to show the proportion of men vs women who suffer emotional, sexual and financial abuse from their partner. Its only recently that emotional and financial abuse has been recognised and is more widely talked about.

As the campaign doesn't just focus on physical abuse i do think that some effort could have been made to highlight that this could also be relevant to men but it is very female targeted. How many men are in abusive controlling relationships that could have had their eyes opened to it? Nobody should have to live in abusive relationships whether male or female. Highlighting that abuse can happen in all kinds of relationships doesn't detract from the fact that women are overwhelmingly the victims of physical abuse.

HairyLittleCarrot Sun 28-Feb-16 22:19:39

Actually, when it comes to fairness and proportional representation, I save my wrath for the fact that there aren't enough women MPs, CEOs, judges etc. I also get frustrated that when I open a newspaper or turn on the TV I see 8 men for every 2 women and the two women are probably naked or dead or getting chased or screaming or being belittled or pornified.

And I think, hey, that doesn't seem to represent the world as I know it. Where are all the women and why are we being treated like shit?

So when an advert pops up imploring men to treat women as humans my wrath has usually been exhausted and I tend to think, well, at least someone is trying to make the world a better place.

And oddly, that is not the point at which I think "how horribly sexist".

But that's just me.

PiperChapstick Sun 28-Feb-16 22:21:48

Everything Hairy said!

IAmTheWhoreOfBabylon Sun 28-Feb-16 22:26:05

Never mind the men I'm sure it must be transphobic in some way
What about trans will nobody ever consider them

HairyLittleCarrot Sun 28-Feb-16 22:26:44

grin

VoldysGoneMouldy Sun 28-Feb-16 22:27:54

Oh come on, let's not turn this into a bitching about trans individuals thread...

pastmyduedate0208 Sun 28-Feb-16 22:29:59

When men are killed in DV incidents, they are more likely killed by their male partner.
Is it really sexist to aim for men to stop killing women, and killing each other?

LeanneBattersby Sun 28-Feb-16 22:33:35

There is very limited funding for this type of campaign. Unfortunately the Home Office can't afford infinite ad campaigns and therefore they use the cash they have to target the biggest group possible for the least amount of cash. That happens to be women.

I wish they would also run campaigns against female on male violence, against FGM, against hate crime. But they can't afford it, unfortunately.

OhShutUpThomas Sun 28-Feb-16 22:35:38

Spot on, Hairy.

Roomba Sun 28-Feb-16 22:36:18

ODFOD. I am at peak 'what about the menz' now...

It is not sexist to want men to stop fucking killing us.

This.

Seeing as trans women now are women legally, there is obviously no shortage of support, refuges and funding for them, as OP obviously thinks there is for other women, so no need to worry about the trans, they are sorted hmm

HamaTime Sun 28-Feb-16 22:37:57

It's not sexist to not want men to kill us FFS. I can't believe that needs to be said.

Where the hell are abused men supposed to get support, or even know it exists?

They are supposed to seek it out the exact same way that abused women do. Men could, you know, campaign for more support for male victims of violence, the way women have done for decades rather than doing fuck all and then crying 'sexist' when women try to help each other.

Brightside65 Sun 28-Feb-16 22:39:50

2 woman per week die as a result of domestic violence - men being the perpetrator!

Targeted messages need to happen!

CosyNook Sun 28-Feb-16 22:44:53

Oh no it's the train railway station poster thread all over again.....

BrewD Sun 28-Feb-16 22:47:53

This isn't a "woman's campaign against domestic violence" - the fact that people think it is surely shows the problem. This is a government campaign against domestic violence and abusive relationships in general.

It's a shame that people are reacting to people pointing out that it's a shame no male abuse victims were depicted, or indeed that none of the relationships depicted were LGBT, by saying "So what it's OURS!!" just proves the point.

For years I've said that TV campaigns for things like cancer overlook men and the response is always "SO what!! it's ours!!!!!" as if women own cancer or something. I think it's a shame that people become possessive over such a horrible thing such as cancer or domestic violence to the point where anyone wanting any victims that aren't themselves depicted in any promotions get jumped on.

LGBT people (men including women) are victims of domestic abuse and it's not unreasonable to think that in a government backed campaign against domestic abuse that this should be depicted

LurcioAgain Sun 28-Feb-16 22:52:29

Is it just me who's curious as to why someone rocks up on mumsnet for the first time today, and chooses as their username a name almost identical to a frequent poster in the feminism section, only does so in order to post anti-women, MRA shite?

swiggityswoogity Sun 28-Feb-16 22:54:47

Oh look. Turns out women do not actually want TV to accurately represent society after all.

Shall be sure to quote this thread next time women's lack of representation on company boards or news casters is mentioned grin

pastmyduedate0208 Sun 28-Feb-16 22:56:51

BrewD. Really, campaigns for cancer overlook men grin ??!

Last I saw prostate cancer campaign depicted only men.
Testicular cancer depicted men...
Surprisingly breast cancer depicted mainly women. Cervical cancer depicted women.
How terribly sexist!

Funnily enough, this campaign features the sex most likely to die from DV. Which is women.

How sexist of the campaign.

NeedAScarfForMyGiraffe Sun 28-Feb-16 22:57:20

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

BrewD Sun 28-Feb-16 22:57:26

But this isn't a woman's campaign - it's a tax payer funded campaign.

What logic dictates that everything that's paid for by taxation, such as a govt awareness campaign which #dispespectnobody is, is "womens" and men have to fund their own?

It's tragic people actually are so possessive over serious shit like this to the point where they actually get offended when people think it'd be a good idea if more than one sort of victim is depicted or that more than one kind of relationship needs to be the focus of it.

So from now on is the rule that any government-backed awareness campaign is exclusively for heterosexual women and that everyone else has to set up their own government and pay taxes exclusive to them to be included in anything?

As someone who knows someone in a same-sex relationship now that's very abusive and who knows the stigma surrounding men seeking help in that situation it angers me this childish ownership over issues like this.

NeedAScarfForMyGiraffe Sun 28-Feb-16 23:00:21

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

pastmyduedate0208 Sun 28-Feb-16 23:01:20

Women Are not possessing the violence. Men are possessing the violence which includes male-to-male homosexual DV. Why should women fix male homosexual DV?

BrewD Sun 28-Feb-16 23:02:29

Incidentally it also suggests that only men can be perpetrators of abuse - something very unhelpful to females in a same-sex relationships to, like men, find themselves completely excluded by this campaign, or at least the advert through which the campaign promotes itself.

Let me guess:

If lesbians want a campaign against domestic abuse they should get their own and stop whining! This is for the straight women, right girls?

2rebecca Sun 28-Feb-16 23:04:18

I hate the word "disrespect". Usually said by male thugs if you look at them or disagree with them "you dissin me?"
Just be pleasant to people. Respect is different and has a degree of servility that's often unhealthy.

BrewD Sun 28-Feb-16 23:04:30

pastmyduddates0208 - this isn't 'women'

Why are so many people under the impression this is a 'straight women only awareness campaign'

Multiple people have now indicated that's what they think the 'Disrespect Nobody' campaign is - it isn't.

Doesn't this misconception just underline the problem?

SimonLeBonOnAndOn Sun 28-Feb-16 23:08:17

I don't like it because ' disrespect nobody' makes no sense. It's stupid. Hate the talking groun too,

cornishmaia Sun 28-Feb-16 23:17:41

Voldys gone mouldy said As someone has pointed out, the conditioning of women to accept violence is part of mainstream society
This but for men too. By slamming down calling the menz whingers women are conditioning them to believe they don't deserve to say we need help too. Which then means that they become more vulnerable and abusive male AND female partners get a bigger grasp on them.
Considering that this is an advert for domestic abuse against everyone, then it should reflect that by showing a wider variety of relationships.

NeedAScarfForMyGiraffe Sun 28-Feb-16 23:27:38

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

grannytomine Sun 28-Feb-16 23:32:34

What's wrong with just campaigning against DV whether it is against men or women. The fact that it happens to women more often doesn't make it OK to abuse men. I think there is probably alot more DV by women to men than is ever reported because no one takes it seriously. I remember when there was the same attitude to DV by men to women. DV is never OK.

PrettyBrightFireflies Sun 28-Feb-16 23:58:21

But this isn't a woman's campaign - it's a tax payer funded campaign

And that means, as a PP said, that there is a finite budget.

So, the Home Office have a choice. Commission a generic DV awareness advert that covers all potential victims and perpetrators, or a more targeted, and more effective advert, targeted at the statistically most prevalent victims.

These ads are dreamt up by the grey suits at Whitehall; they are created by the same professionals who create advertising campaigns for multinational companies. And they will have advised the Home Office on the impact of having a wider mix of victims portrayed in the ad.

NewYearNewToads Mon 29-Feb-16 01:05:41

No it's not sexist.

HTH

NewYearNewToads Mon 29-Feb-16 01:11:12

So all focus should be on abused females?

The vast majority should be, yes.

Just a thought, but if you're so concerned about male victims then instead of whining about how sexist and unfair these campaigns are and expecting everyone else to do something about, why don't you actually do something about it yourself?

As far as I'm concerned, it is not my job as a woman to fix men's problems, it's their job.

PirateJones Mon 29-Feb-16 01:51:01

I have previously read that 40% are men, and considering men are less likely to report domestic abuse, would it not make sense to raise awareness on the subject?

80% of reported abusers are men, but 40% of those reporting are men, a large chunk are same sex relationships.

It's certainly a problem that abused men are under represented. BUT That doesn't mean adverts targeted at helping women should be reduced.

Italiangreyhound Mon 29-Feb-16 02:11:44

To be fair in the advert there are five scenarios, of which only three are specific to females and no one suggests whether the relationship is straight or gay!

"If you are checking your girlfriend's phone, telling her who she can and can't speak to, that's not OK." (specific to a females, spoken by eyes with male voice)

"If your boyfriend's telling you how to dress, that's not right (specific to anyone dating a male, spoken by feet with female voices)

"If someone asks you for a nude pic, or keeps on at you to share one, you shouldn't have to deal with that." (not specific to anyone, spoken by breasts in a bra with a female voice)

"When it comes to sex, only an idiot would put pressure on someone." (not specific to anyone, spoken by boxer shorts with male voice)

"If you turn to voilence when your girlfriend disagrees with you, well that's not the way to deal with it (specific to females, spoken by hands with male voices).

www.youtube.com/watch?v=ObvC12uJa6A

Italiangreyhound Mon 29-Feb-16 02:13:59

Sorry, only two are specific to females and one to anyone dating a male, plus two which are not specific to anyone. I expect in most cases someone dating a male will be female but as I just said it's not specific to whether the relationship is straight or gay!

Italiangreyhound Mon 29-Feb-16 02:21:06

And the advert is freaky and I think they could have done much better!

This one is much better, shocking and sad ....

www.youtube.com/watch?v=RzDr18UYO18

and this

www.youtube.com/watch?v=uFKAFo_etkE

Except it would be better with teenagers doing the talking (and UK accents for a UK audience).

Italiangreyhound Mon 29-Feb-16 02:22:18

PS - I expect in most cases someone dating a male will be female - I mean statistically.

Chrismet Mon 29-Feb-16 04:11:47

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Chrismet Mon 29-Feb-16 04:15:23

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sashh Mon 29-Feb-16 06:08:25

I have previously read that 40% are men, and considering men are less likely to report domestic abuse, would it not make sense to raise awareness on the subject?

It's much less than that, and the way it takes place is often different.

Do you think we should stop screening women over 50 for breast cancer? Some men get breast cancer but no screening.

What about skin cancer? We tell pale people to be careful in the sun but not black people, black skin can and does burn and black people can get skin cancer.

Sickle cell disease? Why is all the information aimed at black people?

So because the vast majority of abuse victims are women the male victims should be ignored?

No, but you should really look in to the facts and see how patterns are different in male/female offenders (including in same sex couples) and how the violence towards women is usually (no not always) much worse ie broken bones and for 2 women a week death. That's over 100 women a year killed by a partner or ex partner, the number of men is less than 20 per year.

No that doesn't make it right, violence is still violence whether it is a slap or a stabbing, but one is less likely to kill you.

The reason there are no refuges for men is because of the different pattern of violence/other abuse, not because men are never victims but because the perpetrator acts differently.

Both men and women can be victims of financial abuse, but usually the man is working and has to hand money over whilst for female victims they are likely to not be working (obviously there are exceptions - like at Mick Philpott) so the support that is given needs to be aimed at the individual.

As for being a feminist fucktard - well if that is about saving lives (I believe women's lives are just as valuable as men's) hell yes I am.

TheDowagerCuntess Mon 29-Feb-16 06:28:02

Given how acutely you feel the injustice of men's lot in this world, Chrismet - I can 100% guarantee that had you been born a woman, you would've been the most rabid, frothing feminist to walk the earth.

Here ---> wine You seem a bit overwrought.

Katenka Mon 29-Feb-16 07:02:16

The only bit I felt a bit bothered by was the mention of boyfriends checking phones.

In RL it's overwhelming women I know that do this. One friend even tracked her DPs phone and would question him when he got home about where he was to try and trip him up/ It eventually split them up. He never lies once about where he was or cheated.

On here if an op says her dh is always checking her phone, she is told its controlling. But women are encouraged and even told how to do it. It does make me uncomfortable.

But women are overwhelmingly the victims in DV cases so of course it's going to be aimed that way.

PrettyBrightFireflies Mon 29-Feb-16 07:09:51

Modern women are uncaring pieces of shit who don't give a fuck about men.

chris Statistically, there would have been more men than women involved in the commissioning, production and broadcast of this ad.
Are they "utter cunts" too?

Chrismet Mon 29-Feb-16 07:14:30

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Chrismet Mon 29-Feb-16 07:16:31

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SoupDragon Mon 29-Feb-16 07:20:13

Wasn't there a similar campaign about DV towards men fairly recently. I'm sure I remember someone whinging about it on MN saying it was stupid because the vast majority of DV victims were female.

NeedAScarfForMyGiraffe Mon 29-Feb-16 07:26:36

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Bubblesinthesummer Mon 29-Feb-16 07:28:56

The fact that it happens to women more often doesn't make it OK to abuse men. I think there is probably alot more DV by women to men than is ever reported because no one takes it seriously. I remember when there was the same attitude to DV by men to women. DV is never OK.

I agree with this.

DaphneWhitethigh Mon 29-Feb-16 07:29:58

It has disproportionate depiction of female victims and / or male perpetrators (in line with real life). But the tag line isn't "blokes! Stop abusing women!" It's a neutral campaign.

Mind you issues around male abuse victims might better be addressed in a format specifically aimed at gay men, since they're disproportionately the victims (and perpetrators) and the way to open the subject of female-male abuse might need a different approach altogether because of prevailing stereotypes.

slugseatlettuce Mon 29-Feb-16 07:30:44

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

OhShutUpThomas Mon 29-Feb-16 07:32:35

Is it just me who's curious as to why someone rocks up on mumsnet for the first time today, and chooses as their username a name almost identical to a frequent poster in the feminism section, only does so in order to post anti-women, MRA shite?

Isn't it? Actually linking to MRA research too.

If someone Asian complained about racism you wouldn't turn around and say and be patronising with "what about the blacks" as if their suffering didn't matter.

Irony overload grin
for the hard of thinking, campaign featuring violence about women is mentioned, poster saying 'but what about men!?' as if the women's suffering doesn't matter

Modern women are uncaring pieces of shit who don't give a fuck about men.

Leaving aside the fact that this campaign will have been made predominantly by men.....
Did women used to be better?
Back when we weren't allowed opinions, or jobs, or the vote, or our lives revolved around caring for our husbands and indulging their every whim?

Modern wimmin! With their freedoms and liberties! The fuckers.

If women don't give a shit about men being abused

No, women tend to care about anyone being abused.
But I for one care more about the hundreds of women killed by their male partners, and the hundreds of thousands abused on a daily basis by them, proportionally more than the tiny minority of men to suffer the same.

Here's what people like you tend to fail to grasp. If women have problems for which they need to access support, it's a long slog. We need to campaign for it, campaign for awareness, acknowledgement, funding, support. Then we need to ensure that other women who need it can find this help. Then we need to ensure that places can remain open, secure further funding.
Then we need to try to change public views and attack the root of the problem.

If men have problems for which they need support, they tend to shout 'WHY HAVENT YOU SORTED THIS OUT FOR US YOU UTTER MEN HATING CUNTS, YOU JUST CARE ABOUT YOURSELVES YOU SELFISH BITCHES' to the nearest woman.

Think about it.

And I'll just leave this here whilst you're mulling it over -

So because the vast majority of abuse victims are women the male victims should be ignored? Then you get people with the "what about the menz?" comments. Well done on being a bunch of cunts. Modern women are uncaring pieces of shit who don't give a fuck about men. Fuck the lot of you.

Thanks for proving that modern women are spoils entitled feminist infested fucktards. Women are constantly acting the victim yet when a man says something it's the worst thing in the world. Throw yourselves under a bus you utter cunts.

DaniBubbles Mon 29-Feb-16 07:36:15

"Well done on being a bunch of cunts. Modern women are uncaring pieces of shit who don't give a fuck about men. Fuck the lot of you."
"Throw yourselves under a bus you utter cunts."
"you hateful harridan cunts."
"Fuck you."

combined with

"yet when a man says something it's the worst thing in the world."

Fantastic spokesperson for your gender there, Chrismet
hmm

maybebabybee Mon 29-Feb-16 07:40:03

DV victims are women. Overwhelmingly so. I work in DV and a lot of the male "victims" you see are men who have reported their partners to the police out of spite as the woman has snapped and lost it after years of having the shit kicked out of them. The stats also show a majority of male victims have also been perpetrators.

I'm not saying genuine male victims don't exist but they are extremely few and far between whatever the MRA might want to say.

OhShutUpThomas Mon 29-Feb-16 07:40:32

Pretty representative though Dani - were this not all preserved in text you can bet we'd be hearing 'but what did I saaaaaay?'

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