Would it be dreadful to do an audit of who sent us Christmas cards this year...

[CruCru]

...and then next year only send them to people who send them to us? I send about 100 cards and it takes up quite a lot of time (and cost). There are people who I know haven't got round to it (just moved house, new baby etc) which is fair enough but I'm sure that I send cards year after year to people who don't send me one.

I must point out that I love doing cards but I only want to send cards to people who enjoy getting them. I assume that people who choose not to send cards don't care very much whether they receive them.

I've never gone through the Christmas cards before because I don't think it is Quite In The Spirit Of Christmas but perhaps it is time.

[Goingtobeawesome]

I've kept a list of who I send cards to each year and who we receive one from. There's one person i have stopped sending one too but that was because we no longer hear anything from them - nor a reply to important emails - but I will send to everyone regardless of if we get one back. It would feel petty to stop even though DH wants me to stop sending birthday and anniversary cards to his cousins as we never get a card back.

[Bearbehind]

I do this in a roundabout way. I keep last year's cards and get them out when I'm writing the current year's cards.

The theory was to make sure I don't miss anyone out but in reality, the number I send has dropped each year because they didn't send us one.

[WickedWax]

I'm not bothered about cards, sending or receiving, and still haven't got round to writing any yet.

We have some family for whom the sending and receiving of cards is very important to them.

For everyone else I'd be quite happy to not send or receive.

You're probably right to assume that if they haven't sent you a card for a couple of years, then they're not fussed on receiving one either.

[Fantasyland]

Isn't the spirit of xmas you don't expect anything and its better to give than receive, like it is for presents? s

I always forget who I have sent them to and don't make a list of who sends one back

[FurbysMakeSexNoises]

Very reasonable- I have a spreadsheet and keep a list of who I've sent to and who I've received from. It's still loads though and I'm feeling rather hurrumphy about it this year!

[Scholes34]

I keep a list. It's the only way I can keep track of distant relatives' children's names.

[goodnightdarthvader1]

We don't send any. People still keep sending them to us, though. I hate cards, waste of money.

[christinarossetti]

Almost ditto goodnight. I send them to family overseas and a few old family friends and that's it.

I feel a pang of guilt at the ones we receive from others (who I don't send them to), but figure that they must have more time/money/inclination than me.

I don't dislike receiving them, but wouldn't ever mind if I didn't.

[Gottagetmoving]

I send cards to the people I want to send cards to but not all of them send me a card.
Most people I know don't send them at all and they make a donation to a charity instead. At least, they say that's what they do.

[Noodledoodledoo]

I have always done this - I like sending cards but do remove people if they don't send back - I have some older family friends who due to various reasons I may not know if they are no longer with us.

I am a bit of a soft touch, it takes 3 years of no card received before I ditch them! Allows for 'life' getting in the way sometimes!

[Eigg]

My Mum has a spreadsheet - if you don't get a tick on the spreadsheet for three years in a row you drop off the list.

Seems reasonable to me, friendships wax and wane, you don't have to keep sending cards to someone you briefly worked with 5 years ago forever.

[YBR]

I do keep track of people we get cards and letters from. About half of those on the list are getting elderly and we're not all that close to any more, and others move frequently so we loose touch.
If I've had nothing for a few years then I stop sending them. Similar to Eigg's Mum.

[longingforfun]

I've been sending cards and presents to my sister and her children for around 10 years and have never got anything back, although I occasionally get a thank you. I've finally stopped this year.

[WhoKn0wsWhereTheMistletoes]

I have always kept a list, I'm not strict about dropping non-responders but I like to keep track and will stop sending them after 2 or 3 years. It's quite nostalgic looking back at the list over the years.

[TheOnlyOliviaMumsnet]

I bring this out helpful flowchart every year I have to say. Only fair to credit the source

[OldBeanbagz]

I'm another one with a spreadsheet. This year it has columns for what they received last year (posted or emailed card) plus what i'm sending this year and what was received.

Last year most people got an email version. This year i sending more cards in the post as i have several friends who've had a tough year.

[PolkadotsAndMoonbeams]

Yep, we have all have lists on the go, and it's three years and you're struck off (unless you're elderly and infirm, then you get a reprieve).

Although the year grandma got a card from Great Aunt F and mum didn't...

[AlmaMartyr]

I did a massive audit a couple of years back when I realised we simply couldn't afford to send them anymore. We send about 10 to family members who we don't/can't contact by email and who appreciate them. And only if we're not seeing them on Christmas Day. I'm OK with it - postage is expensive.

[Wagglebees]

Sent 30-40. Have 8 back. I used gold pen and everything so no fucker's getting one next year. 😠

Seriously though, I said I wouldn't do any this year but caved, so that's it now. I'm chronically ill and I literally had to go without a shower that day so they could be written tiny violin on top of the £££ it now costs to post them, it's not worth it.

and they were fancy ones

[Wagglebees]

[VulcanWoman]

It means a lot to me to receive a card, so even though it's a chore to write them out, I aways send them too.

[toomuchtooold]

There are people with spreadsheets? Holy shit, I send one to the inlaws and one to anyone whose address happened to be saved on my phone.(One of my mates is getting one this year simply because I was feeding her cat for her while she was on holiday and I had to memories her address because I kept forgetting to save it into the satnav.) This probably explains our shit haul of cards, that and the fact that we have done 2 (international) moves in the last 12 months and 13 in total since we were married 16 years ago. Everywhere I've lived there's been cards for previous residents - always feel really bad chucking them out.

[WineOrSleep]

I'm with you waggle

I spend ages doing mine, proper calligraphy gold ink, hand pressed, thoughtful messages...

Spent about £40 on postage stamps this year for cards

Currently looking sadly at the 5 I have received back

I know it's about the spirit of giving etc, and these people are still my good friends but....

[gasman]

I have a book. I've been keeping it since the late nineties.

Tbh I thought everyone did. Except my disorganised aunt!

My Mother and both grandmothers had them too - I used my grandfathers to help him send his cards this year

[BondJayneBond]

At least you're sending cards to people who sent them last year.

One of DH's uncles (or his DW) will only send us cards at all if they've received them that year. We could send them cards 10 years in a row, and they'd still wait to receive ours before sending us that year's card.