My eldest is 11, just started secondary school this year. I KNOW that it's a big adjustment and we've tried to help her be more organised but honestly, she's so bloody dippy, her mind seems to be elsewhere ALL THE FUCKING TIME
Examples:
I have had two texts from her today, one asking me to take her a plastic tub to the bus stop for food tech as she hadn't remembered to bring one herself. I didn't get the text until after the bus had gone, and I was busy getting dd2 and myself out of the door at the time anyway, a detour to the bus stop would have made me late for work so I couldn't have done it anyway. Then at break time I get another text asking me to drop one at school - this is the school that's almost an hour's drive from where I work - by the time I'd gone home, found her tub, got it to school and then driven back to work it would have taken the best part of 2 hours, the 50 miles worth of petrol notwithstanding. So I said no. (She has found one now apparently so problem solved). She KNEW she had food tech today. I'd helped her gather the ingredients. All she had to do for herself was remember a tub.
Yesterday I sent her to find a table in a shopping centre food hall, she came back to tell me that there was one in the corner, should she sit there? Well, erm, YES, that's why I sent you. By the time she wandered slowly back to the seating area the table had been taken and we had to wait ages for a seat. Lovely cold burger and chips.
We were away this weekend Christmas shopping. We stayed away overnight. She brought some pyjamas and clean knickers then complained because she'd spilt her drink down her top so she'd have to wear a dirty top for the rest of the weekend. Could we please buy her a new one? I'd told her to pack a change of clothing, she'd forgotten apparently.
She is constantly forgetting PE kit, swimming kit, dinner money. If she's looking for something but can't find it at first glance, she gives up. I found a £20 on the drive the other day that she'd tried to put in her pocket and missed and not realised.
We have an agreement that in order to get her pocket money she has to keep her room tidy enough that whoever is hoovering / cleaning / dusting can get in there to do it. She hasn't had any pocket money for ages, her room always looks like someones ransacked it. She has other jobs, emptying the dishwasher, making sure curtains are open etc etc so nothing an 11 year old shouldn't be more than capable of doing and she never remembers to do it.
How on earth do I help her become a bit more organised? I am really getting to the end of my tether with it. I do my best to not enable her by picking up after her but that doesn't seem to help. I've been helping her come up with systems to remember what she needs each day but she doesn't look at them.
Am I asking too much of her? We are an extremely busy family, I do as much as I can for her but a) she wants to be treated more like an adult which it's hard to do when she can't remember to look at a calendar or job list b) sometimes I forget things too and she needs to read her lists and take some responsibility for herself, surely?
Arggghhhh I'm just so frustrated. Even if someone could tell me she'll get better as she gets older it would help, as I despair of her ever fending for herself or driving. Her 6 year old sister is more organised than she is.
Please or to access all these features
Please
or
to access all these features
AIBU?
to expect an 11 year old to be able to take some responsibility for herself?
86 replies
RainbowDashed · 16/11/2015 14:16
OP posts:
DawnOfTheDoggers ·
16/11/2015 14:36
This reply has been deleted
Message withdrawn at poster's request.
Don’t want to miss threads like this?
Weekly
Sign up to our weekly round up and get all the best threads sent straight to your inbox!
Log in to update your newsletter preferences.
You've subscribed!
Please create an account
To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.