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To be ashamed of what poverty has reduced me to?

(277 Posts)
iAmSiri Mon 17-Aug-15 17:24:30

Today I took a big wad of loo roll from a public toilet because I didn't have the money to buy some. blush

I struggle every week to make ends meet and today, although I fortunately had money to feed dc, it just wouldn't stretch to include toilet paper.

StealthPolarBear Mon 17-Aug-15 17:25:40

sad are things ever likely to get better, what is your work situation?

Neffi Mon 17-Aug-15 17:27:09

I'm sorry you're struggling. Could you visit your local CAB and ask for a referral to a food bank to temporarily relieve the pressure? No shame in it at all I promise.

Ragwort Mon 17-Aug-15 17:28:25

Please, please get a referral to a Food Bank. That is what they are set up for, some won't even need a referral. Please don't feel ashamed.

willowrush Mon 17-Aug-15 17:29:09

She might have food in ragwort

TheReluctantCountess Mon 17-Aug-15 17:29:53

Don't feel ashamed. We often end up doing that in the last week of the month.

iAmSiri Mon 17-Aug-15 17:30:37

I'm a lone parent on JSA. Things are usually better when dc are at school as the free school dinners really help. I'm applying for a few jobs every week but struggling to even get an interview.
I will manage, I'd rather not go to the food bank as I think I'd rather leave it for people's who are in an even worse position than me.

iAmSiri Mon 17-Aug-15 17:31:39

Btw I do have food in, there's electricity in the meter, so we're ok. It just feels a bit humiliating.

Ahemily Mon 17-Aug-15 17:32:09

I'm so sorry it's come to this. It's so awful, I've been there. Food banks tend to have items other than food near us, such as loo roll etc, if you can face it. I hope things get better soon. thanks

Aramynta Mon 17-Aug-15 17:32:59

You need to contact CAB. They will know what to do and can help you work out your budget and where you can cut back.

Do you work? Benefits?

I used to live on the breadline too, OP. I fought bloody hard to change things and took help wherever it was offered.

thanks

iAmSiri Mon 17-Aug-15 17:33:05

It's always the extras that push me over the edge money wise. Things like loo roll, washing powder etc.

Ahemily Mon 17-Aug-15 17:33:06

Sorry, X post

TheHobbit Mon 17-Aug-15 17:33:12

I know how you feel. I've just got through my poverty stage. I had to continously borrow money from work for petrol. Had to eat food which had expired as i got this free alot of it was off. Was given clothess as i couldn't afford to launder my own so go dirty and people started giving me their stuff. Constantly worried about bills and finances. It was awful we also got unlimited food bank food. I'm on pills for anxiety because of this. So i really hope something good comes your way like it did for me flowers

Welshmaenad Mon 17-Aug-15 17:33:16

A year into dh's redundancy I was buying milk with saved boots advantage card points, we were so skint.

It's awful. I'm sorry things are tough for you. Agree that a food bank referral might take the pressure off momentarily, by stocking your cupboards a bit and freeing money for other essentials.

Are you struggling with debts etc? There are organisations that can help.

Aramynta Mon 17-Aug-15 17:34:09

Also, you should never feel ashamed for the position you are in or seeking out help to get you through it.

TheHobbit Mon 17-Aug-15 17:34:14

Where are you based? Im moving now so have lots of bits and pieces to give away

MiscellaneousAssortment Mon 17-Aug-15 17:36:24

Gosh holidays have been hard haven't they? The lunches, snacks and the entertainment - it's great to be creative and yes there's free stuff on but it's hard to get excited by the same stuff, especially when it rains.

You are still YOU, you are dignified, and wonderful, and fabulous. Loo paper is loo paper, it's not you. X

Ragwort Mon 17-Aug-15 17:38:20

Willow - plenty of Food Banks (inc. the one I volunteer in) have toilet rolls and cleaning products, sanitary protection etc to give out, which might help her food budget. Our Food Bank has excess stocks and money in the bank so no one should ever feel that they are 'taking it from someone who needs it more than them'.

msgrinch Mon 17-Aug-15 17:38:56

op if you're near me I can drop off a pack of loo rolls and washing powder etc. I double shopped this month, tried to cancel but it still turned up.

iAmSiri Mon 17-Aug-15 17:40:00

Luckily I don't have any debts. It's just the usual day to day expenses. I thought of getting rid of broadband but I need it to search and apply for jobs.
TheHobbit, that's really kind of you but I'll be ok. I think I just need a moan really and felt like I needed to confess to what I'd done! The shame of poverty is overwhelming. The constant worrying is mentally exhausting.

IJustLostTheGame Mon 17-Aug-15 17:40:02

Go to the food Bank, it's what they are there for. When your harsh times are over you can reciprocate.

StealthPolarBear Mon 17-Aug-15 17:41:46

Misc lovely and so true.
Op I also wanted to ask where you are

Welshmaenad Mon 17-Aug-15 17:41:49

Op, if you're in South Wales I would happily abuse DH's business Costco membership and pick you up loo rolls and a huge box of washing powder.

iAmSiri Mon 17-Aug-15 17:42:13

msgrinch, thank you for your lovely offer but I'll sort it. I didn't realise food banks stocked loo rolls and stuff, I might give them a ring. How do I get a referral? Would the CAB refer me?

Ahemily Mon 17-Aug-15 17:42:35

The shame of poverty is overwhelming

This is so bloody sad, OP. I'm upset and angry on your behalf. I really hope things start to pick up soon - you don't deserve to feel this way.

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