Oh god! Little girl on holiday

[Cuppacoffeeinthebigtime]

We got here yesterday. So did they. We are both here for 2 weeks. She has attached herself to us so far. She is 9, our dd 7 and DS 4. We got our paddling pool out and she came over watching so we asked if she wanted to join in. She went and asked her mum and she has pretty much been here constantly ever since.We have to ask her to leave 3 times before we can eat. Then she watches from outside until we finish and then she is back. She was here as soon as we opened the curtains in the morning. Her parents have not taken her anywhere once so far. Yesterday, we were going to the park and she stood around looking sad so asked her if she wanted to come with us. She did but then moaned that it was boring and asked if we could do the activities instead ( this costs about 10 pounds per head and I can only really afford to pay for my own dcs so none of us did anything). The parents seem very kind,came over and gave my kids a pound each to buy an ice cream but grrrrrr, this is not what I was imagining when I booked my holiday.

To make things worse another neighboring family's 3 year old has taken a shine to dd and is left playing outside for a few hours at a time. They have asked dd to tell them if she does anything naughty or runs off while they sunbathe. I am a nervous wreck watching as no way dd can be trusted watching a 3 year old. I have so looked forward to this holiday, saved annual leave up, wanted to enjoy it with my own DC. I want them to make friends and learn to be kind as we are quite isolatory where we live but this seems too much.

[MidniteScribbler]

You don't know these people and you don't owe them anything. Just return the child/children and say that you want to spend time with your own family and could they please keep their child away from your family, that you will not be supervising them, and that you do not want them in your space.

[Namechangenell]

Why are you a nervous wreck? The child they asked your 7yo to watch isn't your responsibility. She's theirs. That's one off the list. More fool them if they thought it appropriate to ask a 7yo to effectively babysit for free...

The 9yo is slightly more tricky but you need to woman up and make the holiday the best it can be for your children. Don't miss out on activities as she's tagged along. Do your own thing as you owe her and her parents nothing. You didn't know these people until you happened to be spending the same few days in the same place. You probably won't ever see them again. If your kids want to play then fair enough. Otherwise, just tell her you're having family time or going out as a family for the day.

[BadLad]

Next time don't give in to the looking sad. "Bye, see you later," and off you go.

Three -year-old just escort him back to his parents under the guise of making sure he gets there safely.

It's your holiday. Don't be a mug and let other families palm their kids off on you.

[noddingoff]

I'd probably heave a sigh, get up good and early and leave with your whole family to go and do stuff elsewhere before they're up. Repeat for a couple of days in a row to break the habit, hopefully they'll latch onto somebody else in the meantime then you can potentially come back and relax.

On the bright side, you must have a lovely children if the other kids are flocking to play with them :-)

[TheRealAmyLee]

Dont let them tag along. Go out and ignore any pleas. Its YOUR holiday. The kids parents are responsible for theirs.

[AnnoyedParent22]

I can't believe that people do this, what cheek!

I agree with PP above, you have to stand strong on this and ignore the pleading eyes.

Fair enough perhaps that the child plays with your DC when you are on site but she is then asked to leave when you are eating or wishing to spend family time together.

But completely outrageous that the other parents ask your 7 year old to mind their 3 year old so they can sunbathe. That is completely not on and I would nip that one I the bud.

[Ruledbycatsandkids6]

Yes this is very commem op and am surprised toy Havnt dealt with it before.

If playing on the site while you are getting ready them fine. Let them get on.

Absolutely no other kids in your caravan, that's basic safeguarding anyway as you don't know these kids or their parents so you should be setting your kids the example that they never go into another caravan either.

Then do not invite other children to go anywhere with you. You learned your lesson at the park. She can't follow you unless you ask her. Don't.

As for the 3 year old that's a complete non issue. Tell your children they are not allowed to talk to other adults without you being there so they shouldn't be interacting with the 3 year olds parents anyway.

Your nervous wreak comment is Barmy. Stop being a martyr and taking over things that are none of your business and concentrate on your own kids.

[Hidsup]

Having children to play with yours is a bonus on a holiday I find. I've loved it when mine have befriended others but it's been around the pool and never in 'our' space.

This is within your control though. Say no nicely, say we're busy, say not now, not today.

[NurNochKurzDieWeltRetten]

I love it when other kids come to our caravan / mobile home to play with my kids on holiday! It makes the holiday for my kids tbh and it iisn'tbnecessarily better to be off on day trips 14 days in a row than chilling out and using the pools and playgrounds on site, so I wouldn't judge for "not taking her anywhere". My DD still writes weekly to the 2 bff s she met on a Eurocampstyle holiday last year, and both my other kids made good friends too, though too young to stick with staying in touch. The kids running around and playing/ cycling/ footballing together are a huge part of that type of holiday (I imagine it is a euro/ key camp style holiday? ) and the relaxed outdoor atmosphere is why people go.

That said you have to be firm and forthright and very clearly tell kids to go home when you eat or go out, and don't take them places with you! If your dd isn't getting enjoyment from playing with the other kids also send them away, and say no if asked to babysit - it should be kids playing together mutually as equals.

[AuntyMag10]

You're a nervous wreck but that's your own fault. You need to speak up and tell these parents that you have family plans for the day. Why do you feel you owe them anything? You need to say something to the parents or come away from your holiday all annoyed and not feel like you've had one.

[totallybewildered]

Are you in a caravan with internet access?

[NurNochKurzDieWeltRetten]

totally the sites we go to around lake Garda in Italy often have free WifFi - last year even in the caravan but always at a hot spot like cafe and/ or reception at a minimum. :o

[CitrineRaindropPhoenix]

A lot of campsites now offer wifi. I know, I'm using it right now.

[totallybewildered]

totally alien concept to me! we go camping to have a holiday from gadgets and devices and electronics.

still,each to their own

[Marylou2]

Hi OP. I think folks are being a bit harsh to you. You're a nice person and a great mum obviously. These people who are willing to allow you to entertain their children are no different to the colleagues who allow you to pick up their slack at work or the "friends" who never invite you for dinner but are always happy to come to yours. The key issue here is that you don't know them or their children. March the 3 year old straight back to it's parents. This is a basic safeguarding issue. You're going to have to steel yourself with the older child and just say that you are all busy and that she needs to return to her parents. What is with people who'd even allow their child to spend the day with strangers?
Enjoy your holiday.

[FarFromAnyRoad]

Are you in a caravan with internet access?

3G is a thing now - did you know?

[sharonthewaspandthewineywall]

I'm in a caravan using my unlimited 3G

[FarFromAnyRoad]

And why wouldn't you be? What is it with people who think others should immediately down electronic devices the minute they're installed in a caravan/cottage/hotel/tent? How on earth is it anyone else's business?

[MyPelvicFloorTrainsItself]

Stop inviting her to join you then.

[NurNochKurzDieWeltRetten]

It's not really camping though - we go camping too, as in take a couple of tents and put them up in a field for €10 a night. Eurocamp is a mobile home or those big tents with fridges and tvs 2 different things!

We don't use gadgets much on holiday but the wifi is useful to check weather forecasts/ local opening times and for DH and I to give each other info if we're at different ends of the site - which are massive complexes compared to a normal camp site.

[TinyManticore]

Harden your heart a bit. Go out and do things and don't invite her along, she's not your responsibility. My dd is always befriending random children in parks and campsites etc but I wouldn't offer to take them along anywhere we were going, just as I wouldn't expect other families to invite her with them. Playing together a little bit is fine, latching onto someone else's holiday is not on. Be a bit clearer on that.

[totallybewildered]

3G is a thing now - did you know? wouldn't take any electronic gadgets camping at all, but then we don't have a car, and so nowhere to keep the safe from rain or theives, etc but as I said, we go camping to get away from all that. Just surprised OP is spending her holiday breakfast time on Mumsnet.

[Fugghetaboutit]

Er stop inviting her places?

[totallybewildered]

( and no way of charging anything up....)

OP, do your kids want to play with this 9 year old?