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AIBU?

To feel sad about writing in Fathers day card

69 replies

whatisforteamum · 20/06/2015 19:24

I have a lovely card and the words say it all.Mentally ive had a few "lasts" with Mum and Dad having advanced cancer now this will be my Dads last Fathers day for sure.I have to work the whole day due to staff shortages until about 11pm.
I just feel reluctant to write in his card and he doesnt want to see my sister or anyone sunday(he knows its his last too).My heart goes out to others who have lost their lovely fathers Flowers

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LindyHemming · 20/06/2015 19:27

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fishfingersfortea · 20/06/2015 19:27

OP how kind you are to think of others whilst knowing how sad tomorrow will be for your family.
As hard as it is, if your dad doesn't want to see you or your sister, perhaps having to work will help in a small way.

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firefly78 · 20/06/2015 19:29

i had a little tear earlier thinking about my father in law. been 2 years now. im very lucky to still have my dad. Flowers

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resipsa · 20/06/2015 19:34

I bought a card yesterday for my daughter to give to my husband but it was with a heavy heart as my lovely Dad died on 10 June several years ago; it was agony in that year to see/read about Father's Day the very next week.

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resipsa · 20/06/2015 19:35

So, no, not unreasonable at all.

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Finola1step · 20/06/2015 19:37

Tomorrow will be my 3rd Fathers Day without Dad. As I have young children, tomorrow will be about helping them do nice things for DH. It helps to soften the day a bit iyswim.

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whatisforteamum · 20/06/2015 19:38

Race for life is a great idea Euphemia i hope you and dd enjoy the day my sis did it for mum a few times and what with Mum getting donations to cancer research for her 70th raised £2500 between them.I just cant imagine sticking down the envelope eventhough ive mostly come to terms with his funeral plans and that he nearing the end of his battle :(

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ajandjjmum · 20/06/2015 19:42

So sorry whatisfortea.

I haven't bought a Father's Day card for the DC nor DH to give since I lost my Dad 12 years ago. Christmas cards to just 'Mum' are hard enough.

Thinking of everyone missing someone they love.

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LindyHemming · 20/06/2015 19:45

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LavenderRain · 20/06/2015 19:46
Thanks
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whatisforteamum · 20/06/2015 19:46

I meant to say my dear Dad is still here with aggressive cancer spread to his bones and bladder.Positive enough but with a heartbreaking under current especially on these special days x

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Onedayinthesun · 20/06/2015 19:52

YANBU ???? Good Fathers are precious, OP my heart goes out to you. I will miss my dad for the rest of my life, Father's Day is always hard.

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whatisforteamum · 20/06/2015 19:56

he has fostered many dcs and adopted 2 been a great role model.He is 73

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RachieS1986 · 20/06/2015 20:01

He sounds like a wonderful man op.

HTH Flowers

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penguinsaresmall · 20/06/2015 20:02

Flowers to all who will find tomorrow difficult, for whatever reason.

I lost my dad suddenly as a child, so had precious few Fathers Days. I always make a big deal of it with the DC for DH - he's a lovely dad and he deserves it, and I'm so happy that the DC have him. It also reminds me of what I lost though :(

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Tangerineandturquoise · 20/06/2015 20:02

Flowers

Father's Day is a commercially grown day to celebrate all that father's do for us and show them how much they mean
But every visit you make- every time you make these last days weeks easier you are celebrating father's day- you are showing how much he means to you and how much you love him and are grateful.
It is horrible that you have to work tomorrow-but you I am sure are giving him very many fathers days.
I am so sorry that you are growing through this

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steff13 · 20/06/2015 20:03

My dad died when I was 21. Father's Day is always hard.

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Tryingtokeepalidonit · 20/06/2015 20:20

Really hard, my DF is still alive and well in his 80's, my lovely DC lost their father four years ago. Such a painful day in many ways.

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one1two2three3 · 20/06/2015 20:28

I lost my dad when I was 7 so never really had the chance to celebrate fathers day. Tommrow will be my husbands 1st, our DD is 3 months tommrow! I have had such fun choosing a card and a gift for him!

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TorrAlexandra · 20/06/2015 20:35

This is my first Father's Day without my Dad as he passed away in December after an 8 month struggle with prostate cancer. This time last year we didn't know how bad it was, so I didn't know it would be our last. DH and I are running the Macmillan 10k tomorrow to raise money in his memory. Seemed like the most fitting thing to do. My thoughts go out to you and your family OP. Flowers

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bigbluebus · 20/06/2015 20:52

This is my 2nd Father's Day without a dad too. Last year I was able to visit his grave and put flowers on it, but this year I am not able to get over there. I guess I will just spend the day remembering him. The DCs have got cards/pressies for DH but DH will be out most of the day on a charity bike ride. I realise it is just a commercial event really but it is very 'in your face' everywhere you look.

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peaz · 20/06/2015 20:57

This will be my 15th Fathers Day without Dad, and I hate it. I've since had the DC so it is all about DH (and the DC, as they love the whole card making and breakfast in bed stuff) but it is all bittersweet for me.
However, DB died two months ago, and he has a very young DS so I really cannot be arsed with it all. The idea that my DN will have no idea who his dad is when he grows older breaks my heart.

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crazykat · 20/06/2015 21:09

I'm sorry you're going through this op. I still have my dad but lost my mum two years ago and ever since then I hate mothers day. The first one after she died I wanted to hide in bed as it was always a big deal for us but I have dcs who wanted to make it special for me.

I know it's hard that your dad doesn't want to see anyone tomorrow but it's what he wants. I'm sure you and your dsis have made many fathers days special for him.

Thanks op.

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Koalafications · 20/06/2015 21:11

Flowers to everyone who has lost their dad.

I'm sorry to hear your dad is so unwell, OP. Flowers

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elderflowerlemonade · 20/06/2015 21:12

People saying it is a commercial day miss the point a bit - my dad died 4 years ago and not a day has gone by when I haven't been devastated by it, but it is still hard.

It does go though - my mum died when I was 15 and I'm ok with that now.

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