To ask why my other thread got closed?(88 Posts)
Bit annoyed that the last few pages were spent completely slating me and I now don't have a chance to defend myself?
Feel as though it all turned into a bit of a witch hunt in the end and it would have been nice (not to mention fair) if I was given the opportunity to at least counter being called a snake and a terrible friend and accused of instigating a bitch fest.
Sorry if starting this thread goes against any rules??
I didn't see your other thread, but I imagine the mods thought what was happening was unacceptable. Obviously you can stand on your own two feet but they may not have known that.
You know what the real facts are - don't worry about needing to prove it to strangers.
Yep it reached 1000 posts. You can always start thread number 2 if you want to carry it on.
Your thread isn't closed. It is just too full to accept more messages so is gradually dropping down the pages.
I didn't contribute but did read it with the kind of incredulity reserved for AIBU threads where the only possible answer is a resounding “no of course you are not being unreasonable”
Some on MN have a special talent for taking the most blatantly reasonable thread and, with enough sweeping assumptions and fictitious justifications, turning it around to suggest that actually the OP is at fault in a way that no other person could possibly arrive at. It is a kind of MN mental gymnastics I think.
In fact you were not just very reasonable about the initial mucky boot problem but very gracious and forgiving towards your friends despite her being so bloody rude about it all. I hope it all works out for her and you.
Nah, think I'd get even more slated if I decided to open another thread on the subject.
Just wished I'd been able to clarify a few things as I feel quite misrepresented.
I read some of the thread and I don't know how anyone decided you were awful. They must be weirdos. You sounded perfectly normal and nice!
The last page was simply idling time till it was full up. The very last post was about a cat shitting in a bath.
OP, I think your work is done.
Return to your constituency and prepare for government. Or friendship. Or something. Don't stress it.
If you're the personwith the new carpet whose friend wouldn't take her kids wellies off I thought you were completely reasonable and your friend was rude and possibly jealous.
I once put a cream carpet in the dining room when my kids were small-unfortuneately it didn't last long (bad decision-big waste of money)
Don't worry about it, its the nature of the AIBU beast.
As threads go on posters often see them as a soap opera, and go off on huge tangents mostly for their own entertainment.
Meh, don't worry, happens all the time. I started a thread a little while ago (different name) everyone was very nice and supportive until one or two started making huge, incorrect assumptions that were not even alluded to in my post and then working on the basis that those were fact to slag me off.
I saw your muddy boots / ivory carpet thread and thought that YWNBU
Aww I missed the last one.
So just how muddy were the boots, and just how cream was the carpet again?
Carpetgate 2: return of the wellies?
I read the thread but never posted. But since this is here...
YANBU about not wanting dirt on your carpets
YANBU for insisting the wellies be removed
YANBU for wanting to vent on here
YABU for the way you went about it
YABU for needing Internet strangers to suggest that the reason she's acting like this is because she's struggling. If she was a new friend then fair enough. But someone you've known for decades? You should realise these things yourself (although I can appreciate you may have been a bit close to things to see it)
As for your friend, struggling is no excuse for acting like an entitled twit so SIBU.
SIBU for making snipey comments
SIBU for expecting the world to pander to her son as she does, but
SINBU for not being able to cope and SINBU for needing support
But most importantly YANBU for having cream carpets. As long as there isn't another thread in a couple of weeks about how you've spilled red wine or chocolate on them and why did no one tell you how much work they are...
Finally, YABU for staring another
bunfight thread. But hopefully everyone got it all out of their systems now and we can go back to talking about more typical AIBU topics like MILs at Christmas or parents not RSVPing to invitations - we tend to know where we stand with these things.
OK well just for the purpose of my own sanity I will make these last points and never post about it again.
1) Boots were mucky, not "walking in a field" muddy but would have needed a good run under the shower or hot tap and then have to have been dried. Wellies have grooves right? Dirt in grooves doesn't just wipe out.
2) I didn't intend to drip-feed, I was merely replying to questions (early on posters quite rightly picked up on my friends odd reaction and asked things like "does she have other stuff going on?", "does this happen often?") and by answering these questions I realise I have divulged more and more and more information. I feel that in order to justify my stance I have had to give background info.
3) Several posters seem to have changed tack on this whole issue. Initially it was:
yes YABU you should have let them in with muddy shoes but as I gave my explanations the issue then became
you are divulging your friends emails and texts on a public forum, you should respect her privacy and then snowballed into
How can you let your friend be publically slated and not defend her
Basically it seemed as though it was any excuse to find fault with me / make me look like the shitty person. Agenda's were very clearly at play with certain posters who were looking for any way to have a go at me.
I fully accept that they may well have a point, granted I do not come across as being the worlds most supportive friend but given the context of the thread it wasn't going to be singing the praises of a my friend. She really pissed me off.
I don't think friend was universally slated and I don't think anyone said anything untoward but granted I may not have seen every single post. I did see a lot of reference to her struggling with discipline if she cannot get her son in and out of wellies and I actually do agree with this, as would she I am sure.
4) I wasn't gloating about my friends partner calling their son a spoilt shit, I was actually shocked!
5) Friend is a lovely lady, and a wonderful mother but I admit she struggles with discipline. Her son is a very bright, happy, sweet wee boy but I have always known we have very different views about discipline - this is the first time it's ever had any negative effect on our friendship though. I know now certain situations are best to be avoided and we should be fine.
6) I had no idea MN was so obsessed with carpets!! It's insane and yes a bit bonkers.
I think that is it from me?
Thanks to everyone that took the time to reply, even those that only did so to have a go at me!
One final note - we have a cat, she was sick on the new carpet Sunday night (ironic given that Sunday morning we had the welly saga)
Sick on carpet can't be helped, as annoying as it is. Mud on carpets can.
I didn't on that thread and still don't on this one think it is unreasonable to not want mud on your carpets and to hope that a friend will allow you to be a bit excited about a brand new carpet. It's not like they are cheap!
tbh, if I were you, I would just hide that thread and this one and just enjoy your carpet and get on with your day to day stuff. You and your friend will sort all this out and it'll all be ok.
Do not get yourself in a state trying to explain yourself or justify yourself to a bunch of strangers on the internet. You don't owe any of us that.
I want carpet back. I am jealous of your lovely new (though cat sick stained) carpet.
Eyes down for a full house.....TAAT (Thread about a thread) coming soon. Oh, it might already be here and I've probably just posted on it.
I thought you were completely reasonable. I don't have a shoes off policy at my house. But I have friends who do.
One family who I'm very close to are very strict with this. All visitors have to remove their shoes. They do not want any outside shoes worn inside. I completely respect this and have no problem with it at all.
I always offer to remove my shoes whenever I enter anyone's home. It's the polite thing to do.
I couldn't believe on Sunday night the thread was at 14 pages. When I found it again last night it was at 38 PAGES!!!!
I don't know how it ended but I do know that the thread was not about you in the end so please don't take it to heart. There were posters on there who were just gagging for a fight and stirring it up. If the thread was going the other way they would have argued the opposite.
You were totally in the right and I don't think you should be called out for not immediately realising that something else could be wrong. When situations such as your friend's are well established and the norm, it can be quite easy to overlook the problems that come along with that as they are just part and parcel of life. I don't see the problem with you taking her attack on you at face value at the time, and that one of the good things about MN is that you will get people pointing things out to you that you hadn't considered and helping you to resolve your situation.
I don't think anyone who was the subject of an AIBU would be happy to come across a thread about themselves, not just your friend.
It hasn't gone - it's just full and so is slipping down the hit parade.
I think everything that can possibly be said on the subject has been said at least twice and so the last bit was just insomniacs wittering on about unspeakable ( And generally cat-related ) things that had befallen their carpets.
For what it's worth I think you were right about the boots but it's not worth falling out over so I'd make peaceful overtures in Wellie-Woman's direction as mates trump soft furnishings in my book.
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