To set the scene, DP is from a very small port town in Southern Europe. He has told me before that there are few foreigners there and virtually no non-white residents. The few non-white people in the town tend to be either illegal immigrants en route to other countries or sex workers. There has been a lot of tension in the town over the years due to the presence of said immigrants and several reports attacks on them (house firebombed, a driver attempting to knock down someone of 'foreign' appearance)
The attacks made the news in the UK and I am very concerned as I am not white and am very reluctant to visit this place due to this situation. DP wants us all to go (we have a 1 year old daughter) to visit his brother. The rest of his family live in other towns in his home country and I am prepared to visit those towns as they are larger, cosmopolitan areas. His parents have passed away so his only relative in the town is his brother. I have suggested his brother can take a train to his sisters house (they in the North of the country in the city I am happy to visit) so we can meet them all there. We are planning to visit the sisters anyway. He has rejected this idea because his brother has a health problem, an issue with his eyes, and apparently does not like to travel. Plus he wants to show me where he grew up and wants to introduce DD to his friends. I understand all of this but I really do not want to go to this town. I do not want to be stared at or worse by hostile people.
To make matters worse there is a LOT of criminality in the area and it is nominally 'controlled' by a criminal/Don figure (you can guess the country). He has to visit this man, a friend of his late father, and has said I should go with him. He is blase about the whole safety issue saying that since it is immigrants who are targeted I am not in danger. I feel this is quite an ignorant attitude. I am affected by seeing people targeted and hounded regardless of whether or not I am 'saved' from this scenario by virtue of the fact that I am not an immigrant. In any case, I suspect I will be targeted anyway.
Today I found him looking up flights etc. I repeated that I do not feel comfortable going to the town and will book tickets with DD to his sisters place in North and wait for him there. It will be a shame if we do not see his brother as I have spoken to him on the phone and he is so keen to meet his niece but I do not understand why he cannot take the the train - he works full time and can see clearly with glasses - so suspect DP is using this as an excuse. DP states I am being ridiculous.
Just to be clear: I have no issue visiting areas which have few or no non-white residents, I do this all the time as I love traveling around the UK / Europe and many far flung places. My specific issue is the criminality and the fact that I feel I will be personally targeted in THIS particular town.
AIBU??
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AIBU?
To not want to visit DPs home town for my own personal safety?
92 replies
Eastie77 · 08/07/2014 18:01
OP posts:
hesterton ·
08/07/2014 18:27
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