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To go off someone because of their living arrangments?

(53 Posts)
Needsmorecake Wed 05-Mar-14 19:35:27

Ive recently made a new friend. He told me he was ' renovating his house', so i was expecting maybe a kitchen ripped out, bare floorboards etc...

Turns out he is living in a total mess of a house, im not even sure its safe. The walls have no plaster, down to the struts, wires all over the place. Some of the outside walls have nothing between the wooden joists, just the struts and the outside cladding. Some of the supporting joists dont even reach the floor as they have rotted away.

Worst of all is he has been living this way for 6 years and kind of isnt really doing anything about it now, despite saying hes doing it, hes actually not.

Its a new friendship, but i sort of feel like backing off a bit, aibu?

ImATotJeSuisUneTot Wed 05-Mar-14 19:36:17

Were you hoping to move in?

If not, YABU.

OwlinaTree Wed 05-Mar-14 19:36:54

Well you don't have to go to his house to be his friend? Can't you meet in the pub?

Fudgeface123 Wed 05-Mar-14 19:36:58

Not sure why it's a problem? What effect does it have on you?

puds11isNAUGHTYnotNAICE Wed 05-Mar-14 19:37:02

Why does it bother you?

WooWooOwl Wed 05-Mar-14 19:37:28

If he's been living like this for as long as 6 years, YANBU.

If it was a work in progress and you could actually see some progress over the space of a couple of months, then I'd find it quite attractive tbh!

chocolatecaramel Wed 05-Mar-14 19:37:29

Friend, or boyfriend?

AddToBasket Wed 05-Mar-14 19:37:57

How old is he? YABU.

QueenofKelsingra Wed 05-Mar-14 19:38:00


Friends of ours have been working on their project house for 4 years and it is still not habitable. lots of unknown issues with damp, electrics etc. they are doing the project themselves so it takes time.

I have another friend who has been living in one room of her house for the last year and a half while the rest is renovated.

why do his living conditions bother you? does it affect how good a friend he is??

MeepMeepVrooom Wed 05-Mar-14 19:38:07

Why does it bother you? Just don't go to the house.

happyyonisleepyyoni Wed 05-Mar-14 19:38:14

Someone living like this has issues OP. God knows what they are, but I'd keep my distance if I were you.

Needsmorecake Wed 05-Mar-14 19:38:26

friend with possibility of becoming boyfriend though not now ive found this out

ThatBloodyWoman Wed 05-Mar-14 19:39:04

Is he short of cash, or short of motivation?

If the first, I wouldn't worry, if the second, this needs considering

Crowler Wed 05-Mar-14 19:39:31

I wouldn't consider this boyfriend material.

OwlinaTree Wed 05-Mar-14 19:39:56

Ahh I can see why it's an issue now!

chocolatecaramel Wed 05-Mar-14 19:40:05

I have a friend who is a hoarder - I just don't go to her house.

I can understand this bothering you in a potential partner though.

Pumpkinpositive Wed 05-Mar-14 19:40:07

Can he not sleep at yours?

Floggingmolly Wed 05-Mar-14 19:40:27

Is he basically squatting in a derelict house? confused

puds11isNAUGHTYnotNAICE Wed 05-Mar-14 19:41:03

Ah, is it that you think he might be one of these people who says he will do something then never does?

Needsmorecake Wed 05-Mar-14 19:41:48

im sure ive seen better squats to be honest.

puds11isNAUGHTYnotNAICE Wed 05-Mar-14 19:41:52

happy hmm

Needsmorecake Wed 05-Mar-14 19:42:36

its that hes living in a basic death trap.

I dont feel like i would want to go there, i wouldnt want my child to go there.

BMW6 Wed 05-Mar-14 19:47:03

Is his name Gerry?? grin

BMW6 Wed 05-Mar-14 19:47:35

If it is, I think I know him from years ago!!

Needsmorecake Wed 05-Mar-14 19:49:56

haha, no, its not.

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