aibu, letting dd wear boys swimming trunks...

[5madthings]

So dd is just threeand totally obsessed by dinosaurs, I was sorting out some of the boys old clothes (4 older boys) and putting some away for dd, I found a pair of dinosaur swimming trunks. Dd saw them and immediately wanted to put them on, and loves them. They are fitted shorts style and fit fine will be perfectfor this summer.

Anyway I figure they are fine for beach or swimming, on the beach she will prob wear a t-shirt as well purely because of sun etc but for swimming in a pool the trunks are fine...or so I thought but mentioned it in passing to a friend who thought dd should wear a full costume or atleast a bikini type top... really?!

Last year she had a tankini thing, purely as she was potty training and it was easier, she liked the top so wore it as well but obviousy didnt need to wear it, what with having no boobs!

I think the trunks are fine, she likes them and saves buying new, but then I remebered a thread on here where a toddler girl was told (well her parents were told) she must cover her top half as she is a girl.

I am hoping our pool doesnt have this policy!

So aibu to let dd wear boys trunks or should I buy her a costume?

[WorraLiberty]

Oh come on OP

You've been on MN way long enough to know that this sort of thing is not unreasonable

[OddBoots]

She's three, I really don't see the harm, it's hard to imagine why a swimming pool would ask for her top half to be covered but I do know there are some daft rules about.

[WorraLiberty]

And if you're worried about pool policy, just pack a top in case she needs it.

[5madthings]

Well exactly bit I was suprised by the commemt I got!

And I remember thethread on here, I stuck up for the op but lots of posters said the girl shoidl be covered up!

As otherwie where do you draw the line...apparenty...

[5madthings]

I dont have a swim top, I would have to buy one for her tbh I wpould argue the toss with the pool as thats the kind of person I am

[AgentZigzag]

I don't see anything wrong with her wearing just trunks just because the reason for wearing anything on top doesn't apply to her.

But I would be more concerned about how she would deal with being dressed 'differently' and whether anyone pointing that out to her would upset her, like other children knowing she's a girl and only wearing boys trunks or a member of staff coming up to you and saying something (if they did).

It's all very well saying it's OK to be different and it's something she has to learn at some point, but not at 4 when she's supposed to be having fun.

[5madthings]

She is 3 and quite often says she is a boy amyway... so doubt she would be bothered by anyone saying thing.

[OddBoots]

If you're happy to argue the toss then all the better. :)

I'm rubbish at confrontation so much as I think there shouldn't be a problem I'd probably chicken out, although I would let her wear them with a t-shirt on the beach or even to the park if it was hot.

[WorraLiberty]

I don't know why a pool would have a silly policy like that but if it does, just pop a vest on her.

They're only dinosaur shorts, hardly completely unusual for girls to wear.

[girliefriend]

yanbu, when I learnt to swim I had swim trunks with sharks on them!!

Did me no harm

[WorraLiberty]

The pool won't change a policy for one parent

If they do, then it's probably not a proper policy.

[5madthings]

Well I suspect its not a written polocy, I think it jist says appropriate swimwear.

It was just that it came up on mnet so not sure what ourpools polic is...off to google..

[ifyourehoppyandyouknowit]

I wouldn't worry, she's too little for it to be an issue.

FYI there are some lovely dinosaur tops in Sainsbury atm.

[cakebar]

When I had dd she just wore all ds's stuff, including swim stuff, she was a tiny baby, and lots of people commented, and one mum brought in a load of stuff her dd had grown out of so dd could wear girl stuff, which was super kind and I really appreciated. I didn't mind dd wearing 'boy' stuff, but other people did!

[5madthings]

Having googled the pools policy just lists swimwear that is allowed, it just says trunks, swim pants, costumes, bikinis etc with a pick of each type, it doesnt specify gender.

Young children are allowed to wear rash vests/longer tops etc to help keep them warm if necessary.

I shall check out sainsburys, h&m have some funky dinosaur shoes, canvas summer ones!

[youarewinning]

She's 3 I'm more shocked about where 3 years of my life have gone than a 3yo just wearing swimming bottoms. (Which is fine IMO)

and I'm not some weird stalker!

[5madthings]

Just three yes and a terror with it

She wears boys underpants as well, ones with dinosaurs on obviously. I think the fact that I am so used to shouting "boys" to get them all to come with me etc means I still only shout boys and she comes runnign as well..but then if you ask her name she says "merryn mouse" poor confused child :(

[Caitlin17]

Of course she doesn't need to wear a top. If she doesn't have a girly haircut you might get people mistaking her for a boy.

[HighlanderMam]

I'd be more at seeing a three year old with a bikini top on than one running about with trunks on.

She doesn't have breasts. She doesn't need a top.

[sykadelic15]

I say yes to a tankini/crop top or t-shirt.

It's not because she's a girl, it's because she's out in public and there are freaks who get off on seeing naked kids and I wouldn't want to risk it. I'm a worrier like that.

[differentnameforthis]

Dd2 has (and still wears)

'boys' swimming trunks, pants (because she wanted ones with Thomas on & not Dora/Barbie), trousers, shorts, tshirts, jumpers, pjs, socks, slippers, shoes, wellies, hats etc (all with Thomas/Dinosaurs/Fireman Sam on)

I don't see the issue.

[differentnameforthis]

OK, so misread & it isn't about the clothes, as such.

I would be fine with dd wearing just trucks. But if your pool has a cover up policy, then just chuck any tshirt on her!

[MogTheForgetfulCat]

There is a lovely girl in DS1's group for swimming lessons who wears just trunks. She is much older than your DD (not sure how old - she looks older than DS1, who is 8, so maybe 10?) and no-one bats an eyelid.

I assume she will stop soon, though, and start wearing a top or a costume as she is just starting to develop less of a child-like shape.

[WeAreDetective]

She sounds just like my 8 yr old dd who, from about 3y has loved all things dinosaur, reptile and dragon. She still doesn't care if stuff is boyish, if it has a dragon on!

[ReadyToPopAndFresh]

Nipples are nipples.

no one needs a top If men don't women don't. I think most women would choose to wear a top for their own comfort though. But if a three year old gets told to "put her boobs away" I would lose it on the asker. What the fuck are they looking at if they see breasts on a 3 year old?

Personally my boy and girl wear the same swim costume which is a SPF rash guard top and shorts because I like to use as little sun cream as possible.

I actually find it quite sad that people insist on covering their boys up and protecting them properly but then give their daughters a massive skin cancer risk by dressing them "cute" in tinny bikinis. But we just left a very hot climate... I'd probably let both of mine go shirtless in England.