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To be fed up that, as a 40-something professional, I can't afford my own home

(94 Posts)
GinAndIt Sat 23-Nov-13 18:34:37

Just having a bit of a moan really. Before I start, I know that compared to probably 80% of the rest of the world, I'm very well off. I know this is, in fact, probably the definition of a first-world problem.

But ffs. I'm fed up. I pay almost 40% of my salary for a damp two bed flat which isn't even mine. Ds and I could get chucked out at any time. I can't change anything I don't like, I can't replace anything that doesn't work properly. My boiler is on the blink and I'm worried about telling the landlord in case he then decides that my rent is suddenly too cheap.

I actually pay below the (insane) market rate for my rental. I'm stuck, because I couldn't afford to move as prices have spiralled way beyond my reach. And as for buying? Never, ever, ever.

I am 40 years old and work full time in a frontline NHS profession. I earn a salary above the national average, though not by much. All I want is a bit of garden, and a kitchen I could fit a little table in. I'd like to be able to put pictures up without worrying whether I'll mark the walls. I just want somewhere that feels like it's mine. So why do I feel as if IABU?

MotherIsTheBestBet Sat 23-Nov-13 18:40:56

Yanbu. It's monumentally depressing that housing has become so extortionate, not least because of the catastrophic effect it will surely have on social mobility a few years down the line. It makes me really angry. What part of the country are you in?

londonrach Sat 23-Nov-13 18:45:16

Agree x

CailinDana Sat 23-Nov-13 18:47:42

I understand how you feel. Would you consider moving to a cheaper area?

RandomMess Sat 23-Nov-13 18:48:00

Any chance of moving somewhere else cheaper or shared ownership?

Prices in the SE are insane. Despite being a home owner I'd be happy to see them drop back to the level of 12 years ago when we bought.

GinAndIt Sat 23-Nov-13 18:48:51

The south east hmm. And I know there are cheaper parts of the country but I was born and brought up here, my family and friends, my job, ds's school, all are here.

And it's going to be even worse for ds, isn't it? When his time comes, what will he have? It sucks.

mrstigs Sat 23-Nov-13 18:50:14

Yanbu at all. Myself and DH bought a tiny two bed house 8 years ago. We now have three kids, 2 girls and a boy, and we are stuck here. The plan was always to extend but then the recession happened and i got laid off and even now we darnt take on the extra debt. Previous generations could move up the ladder, now we just have to be grateful we got on it at all.
Having said that, i am grateful. Its too small and the kids have to share a room but it IS ours. Many people i know are in your position and its crap tbh. It doesn't seem right or fair does it. Nowadays the only people i know buying houses are those with well off parents who can give massive handouts. Our children's generation look even worse off if it carries on, won't be able to own a home or even drive a car, and our generation won't have the property wealth or savings to help them out. Its a very sorry situation.

Feminine Sat 23-Nov-13 18:52:54

Is there any possibility you could look in to shared ownership.

I'd think as a key worker you'd be a priority. smile

Failing that, are there any HA s you could rent from\/

amazingness Sat 23-Nov-13 18:53:11

Yanbu
Is there anything that you can think of to relieve how you feel?
-Maybe that there are many others in the same boat
- at least if you fancied a job relocation you could just up & leave without waiting to sell etc (not helpful I know) but you have options
- why not just put up some pictures anyhow with those hooks that stick then don't leave a mark when removed
- remember you're doing a great job for your son, he doesn't care if you rent or buy?

Sorry perhaps someone else can come along with a better list of reasons to rent not buy

Feminine Sat 23-Nov-13 18:53:31

don't know where that v came from confused

Dontletthemgetyoudown Sat 23-Nov-13 18:56:41

I know how you feel. I'm late 30's live in the SE I gave up working frontline NHS as the salary barely covered my child care plus shifts meant I rarely saw my children. I took an office based job but with a higher salary and more flexibility. However it's still not enough to get a mortgage on my own for the property size I'd need. I'm not talking a mansion a three bed semi or large maisonettes etc as I have 4dc. Prior to all of this I was buying with xh but somehow came out of the divorce with very little from the equity.

Fortunatelyy landlady seems lovely and I feel more secure here than in previous rentals but there's still the threat of being two months away from having to moveif the landlord decides to sell or put the rent up. I would like to see some kind of rent control and standards though. Some of the properties I viewed were horrendous and it really felt like the agents and ll's really didn't care.

GinAndIt Sat 23-Nov-13 18:57:15

I am a bit sceptical about shared ownership tbh - I know a couple of people who have gone into it and they don't feel it's actually a good deal. And the.schemes I've seen are still vv pricey imo!

I just wonder what will be the true effect of this 10, 20 years down the road. It seems insane that London or the south east should be out of reach for all but the very poorest or the very wealthiest.

Beastofburden Sat 23-Nov-13 18:58:32

Gin, the only glimmer of light for you is that you are in a profession with a national wage scale and a skills shortage. So seriously you could move while DS is young enough to a part of the country where house prices are still affordable by normal people.

My parents grew up somewhere with no work, so they moved away from where generations had lived before them. And I did the same, because they settled somewhere with no future for me.

The southeast is becoming somewhere impossible to live. You are only ten (ok 12) years younger than me and I only just squeaked in to get a house. The children will have to wait for legacies.

GinAndIt Sat 23-Nov-13 19:00:22

Exactly dont, I think it's the insecurity that bothers me the most. Tenants are second-class citizens. I would like to see some legislation that protects us more.

expatinscotland Sat 23-Nov-13 19:00:26

All these people who say, 'Move to a cheaper area', what do you do about your job? It's not easy these days to get another one in a different region and a lot of the time, these 'cheaper areas' come with cheaper wages, too.

Beastofburden Sat 23-Nov-13 19:01:51

Expat, not if you are on a national wage scale. The OP works for the NHS.

brettgirl2 Sat 23-Nov-13 19:02:11

yanbu private renting with kids is awful. Perhaps it would help if landlords were forced to give much better terms. .....

NorthernLurker Sat 23-Nov-13 19:06:36

The OP would have to move a long way from her home atm to afford a mortgage on a single salary - which I'm guessing is between £30-40, 000. Atm I bet she can't save anything for deposit and even in a cheaper rental area it will take her years. Single people can't afford to get on the ladder now without either a big salary or a big helping hand.

OP - brutal but true - inheritance is your only chance. Do your parents own their own home?

Feminine Sat 23-Nov-13 19:08:16

I've had a shared ownership home in the past op it worked out fine.

yes, they can be expensive ..not always. I know that some HA's will allow a 25% share. If you are looking for security, then its a better situation than you have now...don't you think? smile

GinAndIt Sat 23-Nov-13 19:08:51

I do take the point of those who suggest moving to another area. I know that I choose to live in the SE in a sense.

But... For example, I'm a single parent. I rely on my network of friends and family built up over the years to give me the ability to work in my NHS job and earn the salary I do by working weekends, nights, etc. Moving 'somewhere cheaper' would simply mean that the money I save on housing would get spent on childcare. That's if I could find childcare on Saturdays, Sundays or nights...

It's not easy as just moving elsewhere. And why should that be the solution anyway? It's crazy.

Am not meaning to shoot down in flames your suggestions. In ten years time I'll escape to the north, maybe grin. But, you know, it just pisses me right off, right now.

expatinscotland Sat 23-Nov-13 19:08:57

'Expat, not if you are on a national wage scale. The OP works for the NHS.'

And may well not be able to just up and relocate the job. Lots of people cannot.

Holamum Sat 23-Nov-13 19:10:11

Would the introduction if the 95% mortgage help?

NorthernLurker Sat 23-Nov-13 19:16:26

A 100% mortgage would help the OP. We got one 14 years ago to buy our first home. Dh was earning 13,000 and with the Child benefit added in 3 times his earnings would buy us a two bed terrace in York. It didn't have central heating but was otherwise bloody good. We lived there for 9 years and made a comfortable amount on that which allowed me to be standing in the kitchen of our 4 bed now. It's not massive but it's very comfortable and we oculd live here indefinately. Without a 100% mortgage, responsibily lent to two graduates, only one of who was earning at that time, we would still be in rented because house prices SHOT up shortly after we bought and we would never have kept pace in saving for a deposit. In fact I doubt we could have saved at all because our rent would have been about £100 more a month than the mortgage was.
I think it's a crying shame that the 100% mortgage has become a dirty word. It was invaluable to us. But then maybe people like us buying is what pushed up prices in teh first place........

MaryZygon Sat 23-Nov-13 19:16:39

I really sympathise with you.

I am very lucky that we bought our house before the boom. On our income there is no way we could buy now.

I look at my teenage children and feel very sad that they will probably never own their own houses. One wants to teach, another nurse, and there is no way they will ever be able to afford to buy unless we help them with a deposit, which I doubt we will ever be able to do.

They may well live here forever. I wonder could I build a couple of self-contained sheds?

BlueStones Sat 23-Nov-13 19:16:48

Similar here. Grew up in a deprived area with virtually no employment prospects, worked like buggery to get away from there and to have a career. I now have a good job (albeit fixed-term rolling contracts, as they all seem to be nowadays) and yet pay 60% of my wages on rent. It does rankle that I did everything I should have done to get on in life, and am still living like this.

I do live in an expensive city but I live here because at least there ARE jobs here. I was unemployed half the time in my old town.

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