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To think I live opposite some really daft people

(121 Posts)
LaurieFairyCake Sun 06-Oct-13 15:29:42

Aerated woman's just come to the door

"I'm on the phone to the police yeah, there's smoke coming from your house, you're alright, yeah"

Me: "er yes, (pointing) that's a chimney. When you light the stove smoke comes out"

Her: "yeah, but it's fire innit and I've called the police now"

Me: "ok. Fire produces smoke yes, but it's a stove and it's meant to"

Woman wanders off shaking head and speaking into phone to police "it's a stove, not fire"


MrsJamin Sun 06-Oct-13 15:32:54


fluffyraggies Sun 06-Oct-13 15:34:22

grin Well ... she meant well.

CoolaSchmoola Sun 06-Oct-13 15:36:28

I'm sure you'd be glad of the 'aerated woman' had your house actually been on fire....

Tis a little funny though!

NoComet Sun 06-Oct-13 15:37:31

She'd better not come and live here. Being a collection of various age rural cottages, we have a wide range of oil, coal and wood burning stoves and open fires. Each autum as it gets colder a wide variety of smoke appears out of chimneys. Much of it quite alarming as people get dusty sooty stoves fired up with damp tag ends of wood piles.

DurhamDurham Sun 06-Oct-13 15:38:02

Either she meant well or she was very very bored and was hoping for some drama in her life. Could have been quite the story she had to tell. Saving your neighbours from burning to a crisp on a Sunday afternoon. Not everyday you get to say that.

LaurieFairyCake Sun 06-Oct-13 15:41:57

The thing is, that it's a metal external flue completely visible from the street with smoke coming out above the roofline - it couldn't be anything else - it may be the worlds most deliberate looking smoke expelling device

She was very young

sooperdooper Sun 06-Oct-13 15:45:14

Aw, she meant well though smile

YouTheCat Sun 06-Oct-13 15:45:54

So, she can work a phone but she doesn't understand about chimneys? How very odd. grin

bsc Sun 06-Oct-13 15:49:44

imd 'd be more worried that she'd called the police not the fire brigade!

ILoveCwtches Sun 06-Oct-13 15:52:49

bsc, you beat me to it!

Read thread, read another thread, then thought, "why on earth did she not call the Fire Brigade?" and popped back to point it out!

LaurieFairyCake Sun 06-Oct-13 15:54:10

I know, that was the first thing dh said!

I said that there were many questions that sprang to mind to ask her but I thought it might make me look overly sarcastic

YouTheCat Sun 06-Oct-13 15:55:23

Just think yourself lucky she didn't call Ghostbusters. grin

ILoveCwtches Sun 06-Oct-13 15:58:53

Ha, yes. Suppose she meant well so pointing out the numerous flaws in her actions would be, well.......pointless! smile

ohnoimnot Sun 06-Oct-13 16:05:23

Why did she have to call anyone if she was coming over anyway?

LaurieFairyCake Sun 06-Oct-13 16:47:42

Oh god, this wumman is the gift that keeps on giving

Her banging on door: "I can smell wood now"

Me: "yes, it's a wood burning stove - actually it's multi fuel so I'm also burning coal but you can't smell that"

Her: "I don't like the smell, can you turn it off"

Me: "unfortunately not, it's a fire and it will go off naturally in the next 6-8 hours but I will be relighting it at some point as it keeps the house warm "

Her: sighing, eye rolling - 'can't you throw some water on it'

Me (utterly lost patience and can't be fucked to explain the many reasons why I won't be throwing water on it and will be having the stove lit ) - "no, I won't be doing that"

Her: (flouncing) "looks like I will have to call the police again"

Me(utterly bemused) : "ok"

ohnoimnot Sun 06-Oct-13 16:50:26

She sounds fiery, did you shoot her down in flames LOL

YouTheCat Sun 06-Oct-13 16:50:53

She's calling the police because she doesn't like the smell of your woodburner?

What a stupid cow.

NoComet Sun 06-Oct-13 16:53:38

I've now got tears running down my face.

I guess if you have an external flue, these are new houses not built with fire places, but honestly what a idiot.

YouTheCat Sun 06-Oct-13 16:54:47

I'd be interested to know what she expects the police to do about you, perfectly legally, using a wood burner?

TheYoniWayIsUp Sun 06-Oct-13 16:54:51

oh, please update us with what the police say!

Pobblewhohasnotoes Sun 06-Oct-13 16:55:10


WestmorlandSausage Sun 06-Oct-13 16:55:29

Or DO throw water on it which really will cause a smokey stink!

LilRedWG Sun 06-Oct-13 16:55:29

Silly woman!

Vintagecakeisstillnice Sun 06-Oct-13 16:55:30


No wonder the 999/ police etc phone people get pissed off.

Though a call like that I wonder if they're allowed put it on speaker and let everyone listen? grin

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