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to feel sorry for children whose parents smoke?

(188 Posts)
strawberry34 Sat 29-Jun-13 14:11:38

I was walking through the park today and saw a couple sitting with their baby, they were both smoking whilst baby was next to them inhaling their fumes. I felt sorry for the child, for years it's been known that smoking is bad for everyone and passive smoking is dangerous.

It's also known that having a parent who is a smoker increases your likelihood of becoming a smoker when you grow up. I know there will be human rights people who object to me judging parents who smoke, but I do feel sorry for their children. Surely quitting smoking is a small price to pay for your children's future health, it's not like health advice on smoking has changed recently, campaigns have gone on for decades warning of the damage, there are no benefits as far as I can see.

LastTangoInDevonshire Sat 29-Jun-13 14:13:58

If you want nearly everyone to agree with you, why don't you read all the other smoking threads that have been started over the last couple of days instead of starting a new thread?

AND 'human rights' - all in one thread !!!

HeySoulSister Sat 29-Jun-13 14:15:05

The same can be said for children with overweight parents.... There's always a reason why 'other people' aren't behaving how you would like them to!

DioneTheDiabolist Sat 29-Jun-13 14:16:20

My mum's a smoker. She's lovely. Neither me, nor my siblings need you to feel sorry for us OP, so don't waste your time or energy.

Shellywelly1973 Sat 29-Jun-13 14:16:28

Are you bored this afternoon...?

expatinscotland Sat 29-Jun-13 14:17:07


Francagoestohollywood Sat 29-Jun-13 14:18:01

Not all people strive to lead a risk free life.

gamerchick Sat 29-Jun-13 14:18:11

Meh, I feel sorry for babies who arnt given colostrum when they're born, despite all the health benefits.

I got over myself though.

Helpyourself Sat 29-Jun-13 14:18:20

I feel sorry for my dcs as I remember worrying my dad would get cancer and die early. I don't smoke near them, so I don't worry about their lungs or that they smell. I think it must be like having a patent who is dangerously obese or a dangerous sports junkie or even a fast driver for a child.

madhairday Sat 29-Jun-13 14:20:58

Yanbu. I may be hailed as the anti smoking police, but I'm not against people smoking (it's their lungs). I am against people smoking round children.

My dad smoked heavily. I have chronic degenerative lung disease. I wouldn't wish it on anyone.

So yes, I do feel sorry for such dc.

Startail Sat 29-Jun-13 14:22:04

As for the children of smokes being more likely to smoke, I can assure you my chain smoking DF, put me off for life and knowing how hard it was for him to finally, after getting pneumonia, stop, has had the same effect on his DGDs

Hercy Sat 29-Jun-13 14:22:09

I would have thought that children of smoker parents would be less likely to smoke than children of non smokers, because they grow up not liking the smell etc. I know that was the case in my family.

crumblepie Sat 29-Jun-13 14:22:51

`It's also known that having a parent who is a smoker increases your likelihood of becoming a smoker when you grow up` ........rubbish i smoke , my parents never and nor do my children .

CloudsAndTrees Sat 29-Jun-13 14:24:39


Out of all the children in the western world to feel sorry for, you choose the ones whose parents smoke?

What about the children of parents that already have life limiting illnesses, or are obese, or have no job, money or prospects, or who are dysfunctional, or abusive.

I'm sure you can feel sorry for all of them as well, but I'm confused as to why smoking provokes a strong enough reaction that you needed to start a thread on it?

TantrumsAndBalloons Sat 29-Jun-13 14:26:16

You feel sorry for their children?

Really? Poor you. I feel sorry for you.

Iwantmybed Sat 29-Jun-13 14:28:18

We all know that smokers are selfish spawns of the devils who pay a fortune in taxes. Get over yourself OP.

Smokers are well aware of what non smokers think of them but thanks for pointing it out.

BegoniaBampot Sat 29-Jun-13 14:29:22

I grew up with smoking parents and it really was miserable thought one was a chain smoker who had no problem blowing it in your face and chain smoking through pregnancy etc to say nothing of crying worrying Mmmmm was gong to die (and she did of lung cancer). put me off and have never smoked.

But if people want to be so blasé about the effects on kids go ahead.

ZZZenagain Sat 29-Jun-13 14:33:03

if they are smoking around their dc like the couple you saw i nthe park then yes, I would feel sorry for the dc. It isn't pleasant and it isn't healthy to have to passive smoke. It isn't pleasant for anyone really, whatever age.

My son doesn't need anyone feeling sorry for him but thanks all the same hmm

JazzDalek Sat 29-Jun-13 14:36:49

YABU. I smoked on and off for years, including when DCs were small. I'm a fucking great Mum, for all my failings in other facets of life grin and my DCs couldn't be more loved or better cared-for. Save your pity for the many children who aren't loved, aren't wanted, aren't looked after.

I no longer smoke, but guess what? I'm the same person.

HeySoulSister Sat 29-Jun-13 14:38:25

Op are you a perfect parent then? You don't drink/smoke anything/eat the wrong things?

HeySoulSister Sat 29-Jun-13 14:39:27

Oh and welcome to mumsnet by the way!

Alisvolatpropiis Sat 29-Jun-13 14:43:36


Yes - the children of smokers are the ones we should all be feeling the most sorry for, absolutely. hmm biscuit

ThePurpleCarrot Sat 29-Jun-13 14:52:35

I feel sorry for anyone, child or grown up, who lives with a smoker.

Justforlaughs Sat 29-Jun-13 14:58:27

You want to be the non-smoking adult, coping with a teenager who thinks that smoking is good idea!
Actually, there are many children we should be sorry for, the ones whose parents don't actually care about them, the ones whose parents can't afford to give them the necessities in life, the ones whose parents can't/ don't help them with their education,the ones who are abused -either by parents or other people etc, etc. Yes, a child whose parent puts their own need of a cigarette over the need of a child to breathe smoke free air, might deserve better, but it doesn't come top of my list.

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